I'm still your favourite regret you're still my weapon of choosing. And out there...

Stuck in the quantum pattern. Tangled in what I never said. You said 8t doesn't matter.

Thought about her a lot today.

I was sitting in my parents house and imagining how perfect it could have been. Me and her on the sofa chatting and laughing with my family, drinking wine and eating cheese. Being able to turn to her in the moment and whisper "I love you" while she smiles on and grabs my hand so tightly. Maybe I'm romianticising a timeline where things could have worked out, or maybe I'm just tired of being on my own. It just hurts to think about what could have been and the opportunities that were wasted. However, I know that if things hadn't ended I wouldn't have been in the position I am today and I currently have a really bright future ahead of me. Maybe eventually I'll get that moment back with someone who wants the same thing, but until then I guess I'll just keep going on my own. Regardless, if you're reading this please know that I thought about you a lot today and I miss you.

I'm very much tired of feeling like I'm not good enough for anyone and I'm tired of being alone. I'd just like to feel cared about and appreciated and I really wish someone could tell me why I'm not so I could fix it.

my house is haunted because i live here

Other people are successful and I am not and this infuriates me

I’m going to burn your world to the fucking ground.

You don’t deserve anything. Not after everything you’ve done.

It's funny how I'm drunk now and the feeling is Normal. It's not the regular sadness and it's not excessive happiness. It's how I felt 3 years ago back when things were ok. Back when I felt genuinely happy for more than a couple weeks at a time. If it weren't for the weight I put on with drinking I'd have ruined my liver so long ago

I'm sick of going nowhere and feeling like this all the time. I dunno how much longer I can keep this up

Why am I still so sad

I keep working on myself and working to change things. I keep trying to get something out of life but no matter what I do it feels like I get nowhere. It feels like I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. I just keep getting put down, taken for granted and then pressured by others to be better. I'm trying so hard, harder than I ever have before and I'm praying to just make the smallest big if progress. I'm getting nowhere. I'm stuck and nothing I do seems to change it. I want to accept myself and be happy with who I am, I want to be loved again, I want to make progress and e content with my circumstances. I hate oversharing on social media, but I feel like I don't have anything else to help right now. I hate these feelings. Especially for the people that have hurt me so much, I shouldn't care at all but I do. Even after all this time. I don't know where to go or what to do from here. If its medication I need to go back to then whatever, I just need things to change. I need these feelings to stop and I need to be ok. That's all I've wanted for so long

I hit such a bad one tonight. Words cannot accurately describe how it went but all the things I’ve been struggling with from the past few weeks to stuff I’ve been hurting over the last 6 years all came to the surface. This ended up being one of the most emotionally difficult nights I’ve had but I do grateful to have my best friend to help me. He has done everything I could have asked for and helped me through so much. He’ll probably never see this, but it’s so important that at least someone knows how amazing he is. I doubt this will be the last of my sadness for a while, but I am so grateful to have the people that I do to help when I need it. I don’t know if I’m gonna be ok for a while, but I do know I’ll survive it. Thank you Adam

Khanivore: Cutest beastie in the pit.

Love Death and Robots episode 1, “Sonnie’s Edge”.

I shitpost when I’m feeling down

Joji - No Fun

Learning this next but this is G.O.A.T by Polyphia

👼🏻 🕊 🐚 🕊 👼🏻

”It’s probably the best thing you’ve ever seen in your life.” Tim Henson of Polyphia for DiMarzio Notorious Neck, Middle & Minibucker Bridge Pickups (4K) ( March 2019 ) ( x )

4:25 AM

Tired. Sad. Hungry. I’m really struggling right now and it’s not getting any easier.