I’m so fucking embarrassed to be at my grandparents 60th anniversary alone and fucking crying.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Any of this.

I won’t ever amount to anything. I already know. I’m just gonna stay in bed for the rest of life because fuck it.

Sometimes I just want to go and talk to a recruiter about joining the military still. Likes it’s never left my mind and the things I would learn, do, and gain- is much more appealing than sitting in an office. Plus school would be supported, housing, health benefits, etc. Things I’m all struggling to pay anyway.

this is my dumbest and most prized possession

idk if it’s the mental illness but sharing literally any information feels like oversharing. i’ll be like “i skipped breakfast this morning” and immediately im like “i might as well have told them where i buried the money”

quick question: how the fuck do I get through the rest of my life like this

People that sing the “I don’t want to die, sometimes I wish I’ve never been born at all” part in bohemian rhapsody a little bit louder than the rest rise up

Someone take me out or aliens need to abduct me because I’m over this fucking life.

Someone take me out or aliens need to abduct me because I’m over this fucking life.

And a problem because I have no sex drive.

Like why I am fucking like this.

Also I just think it’s funny how I have all these “friends” but I don’t fucking go out with them and do fun things any more? Like I’m really just a fucking loner loser.

I’m fucking over this.

First paycheck for second job? Not there.

No food for dinner.

I bust my ass and for what.

Maybe I’ll just disappear for good.

“Human relationships are strange. I mean, you are with one person a while, eating and sleeping and living with them, loving them, talking to them, going places together, and then it stops”

— Charles Bukowski

I’m so tired of just existing.

Maybe I just won’t one day.

No breaks. 6 days a week now to just ensure all bills are paid, two jobs, just to end the struggle.

Maybe I’ll treat myself to a new car. 🫠