shitmymomscoworkerssay
Shit My Mom’s Coworkers Say
My mother works in a large city in Texas. She is pretty liberal. Her coworkers....sometimes aren’t. She likes to text my best friend and I the craziest things her coworkers say. I guarantee these as 100% real.No names to protect my mother.
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Cast of Characters
I cannot emphasize this enough - this blog is from REAL THINGS my mother’s coworkers have said. I usually copy/paste the texts.
Without further exposition, meet our cast!
Mother: Middle-aged divorced mother of 2 college graduate children; Lil Bro and myself. She’s a lawyer that does temp work in Texas. Mom is awesome, liberal, and somehow doesn’t kill her coworkers. Has a cat we will call G. She hates Cruz but is also pretty sure that the Texas Democratic Party is doomed. Sometimes she puts in her earbuds to avoid being dragged into the drama, but texts me anyway. A Doctor’s Daughter but doesn’t care. Feminist.
Coworker S: Middle aged multiple divorcee lawyer from Louisiana. Incredibly smart, top of her class. Does the same job as my mother. Insanely conservative, unironically hypocritical, Uber Catholic. A Doctor’s Daughter whose Identity was fundamentally rocked when her father retired (after she had a law degree). Thinks all feminists are man-haters. Loves cats. Has referred to African-American people as “plantation” within the last calendar year. My BFF and I are pretty sure S thinks she and my mom are work besties.
Coworker A: Naturalized citizen from an African country that starts with N. He and S argue frequently. He and my mom get along.
BFF: My best friend since 6th grade. Super sarcastic, super liberal, and a Doctor’s Daughter who is aware of her privilege. Huge proponent of mental health awareness. Only ever agrees with S on the topic of animal welfare. Calls my mother on Mother’s Day. Will occasionally write or illustrate posts for me. GIF reactions to S usually from her.
BFF2: Joined BFF and me in high school. She’s the conservative one.
Lil Bro: My brother - recent college graduate who worked for various Texas Democrat races this election season. Comes up with the best Sassy S positions when we discuss current events.
Me: Have my BA and Master’s Degrees. Used to be a public school teacher but quit because of PTSD. My reactions to S tend to be in words. Mom says I’m not allowed to ever meet S.
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S, the ADA, and the arts
Mom: S believes that a theater (built pre-ADA and barely adaptive even now) shouldn’t necessarily spend money on better accessibility if that means compromising Art (resulting in one less ballerina).
Rather simplified, but there you are.
BFF: The thing I’m most shocked about at this point is that S gives one single fuck about art. I know she gives zero fucks about people with disabilities so that part doesn’t surprise me at all.
Mom: She loves The Arts. Especially ballet. And - SHE USES A WALKER.
No, really. This person is dependent on the ADA to get around, but is against it. Yes, Coworker S is anti-governmental regulation. And feminism. And common sense.
EDIT: A recap on the ADA, 2019 edition. Mom: S has an MS-similar condition and uses a walker for stability. She remarked that a building’s ramp had a very steep grade. I said she should complain. No! Because she is anti-Govt regulations on businesses. Me: but it would help people!!!!!!!!!!
#shitmymomscoworkersays#coworker:S#Being againist the ADA when you have a disability is a whole new level of unusual#How dare people who need accomodations like ramps and stairs that aren’t death traps want to see art#Strap in folks#S is a believer in bootstraps while disregarding all of her priviliege#shitmycoworkerssay#content warning: foul language#if you dont like cursing#avoid this blog
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“The Catholic Church is being brought down by the MeToo movement.”
-Coworker S
Mom: Uh, the Pennsylvania investigation started long before MeToo.
#wtfeven#shitmymomscoworkersays#MeToo#The Catholic Church doesn’t need help from MeToo to be brought down#Why is she against pedophilia? The world may never know
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