nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

every sunday i tell my liberal father that i'm off to go get another sex change. he tells me "yass monarch slay". but in reality i go to church to study the teachings of the lord. if my liberal father knew this i would be disowned. this is joe biden's america

gay new yorker. faggot about it!

need my dick sucked so bad but i have this stupid ass vagina

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

brutalist candy cane

OP also turned off reblogs for this but it has to be said

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

short walk in the sun momentarily heals local woman who hasn't felt real since she was 7

once i saw an argument break out in a gay bar over whether scar from the lion king is gay or bisexual so never let your romanticized view of Offline tell you that argument wouldn't happen in a real life gay bar. It Could.

wish i could call in bitchy to work

i just need to grow my hair out -> i just need to cut my hair -> i just need to grow my hair out -> j just need to cut my hair

legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

This is making me cry

GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

gonna post my entire stickman reaction pic collection