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Unhelpful Part 6
I've been really busy lately and it doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon so-- the next update is gonna be in a week. Probably. :]
Previous, Next
Masterpost
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The pinnacle of my self indulgence, regency era Crowley
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local demisexual man experiences a new emotion and literally malfunctions. what a DORK lmao
this is messy and will probably stay messy. i just wanted to draw him smiling. I WAS DARED TO BY @turtlecleric (they brought it up once (1) and i was possessed) LINK
YOU. I LITERALLY JUST GOT THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM NOOOOOOOOO
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I have no context (never read The Little Merturtle) but Gift from Posidon vs Amazon is so funny to me, like, it's either "Yeah Greek god gave you to us." OR "yes child, we have Amazon Prime because there was a discount on it when we got you."
Alright everyone! Let's figure this out!
You and Donnie will have a child during the sequel of "The little merturtle"
#Imagine amazon priming your baby#same day delivery that baby#rottmnt donnie x reader#rottmnt donatello x reader#donnie the little mermaid au#the little merturtle#the little mermaid au
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I have a feeling that beneath the little halo on your noble head
There lies a thought or two the devil might be interested to know
You're like the finish of a novel that I'll finally have to take to bed
You fascinate me so
You Fascinate Me So, Blossom Dearie
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INCOMING CALL FROM
…Glenn Dolphman
჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻
| masterlist for Glenn Dolphman / main masterlist
჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻
Fanfic / Ficlets
Halloween
𓆜 ೃ⁀ 𓆝 afab / NSFW / Swamp creature Glenn
Firsts
𓆜 ೃ⁀ 𓆝 gn / NSFW / Glenn’s first post-op blow job
Comfort
𓆜 ೃ⁀ 𓆝 afab/ NSFW / he comforts you after a bad day at work
Oral Preferences
𓆜 ೃ⁀ 𓆝 afab / NSFW / how he likes to eat you out
Drabbles
𓆜 Valentine’s
𓆜 New Years
𓆜 Sub!Glenn (feat. transmasc reader)
Headcanons
𓆝 ೃ you flash your tits in an argument
𓆝 ೃ what he watches
𓆝 ೃ fancast for Glenn
𓆝 ೃ his dick
𓆝 ೃ giving head
𓆝 ೃ you like guns
჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻
ACCEPTED
…HELLO?
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Okay, so you know how in the books, Newton drives a Wasabi car (a fictional Japanese car of unreliable quality), only to spot a UFO whilst driving it? Take a look at this frame from the trailer.
Looks like it’s from that moment in the book, right? Only look closer.
That’s not a Japanese car.
That’s a Reliant Robin.
Now, this is where stuff gets hilarious to me, because if you’re as much of an old car enthusiast as I am, you’ll know what a Reliant Robin entails.
A Reliant Robin is:
A British car from the 1970s.
Has three wheels.
Is lightweight due to its plastic shell, which made it legal for people in Britain to drive it with only a motorcycle license (making it the go-to car to show your hero is broke).
Is famous for falling over a lot.
Seriously, there’s a looong history of the Reliant Robin being made fun of in British television. From Only Fools and Horses to Mr Bean.
In other words, it’s totally the type of car that Newton Pulsifer would drive.
AND just as the final cherry on top, it’s blue. They picked a blue Reliant Robin.
Why is this so funny to me? Because in The Butler Detective, Detective Mel Ambrose drives a blue Reliant:
I’m developing a detective video game where all the chase scenes in the plot are going to involve this blue monstrosity.
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Imagine Aziraphale teaching Crowley how to bake cookies.
Imagine Aziraphale following the book’s rules like a bible.
Imagine Crowley snorting at the rules.
First time his baking fails because he has no idea what he’s doing. He rolls his eyes at Aziraphale telling him he has to listen to the rules.
Second time his cookies are better than Aziraphale’s because a few swift changes makes them more crunchy (which Aziraphale likes) and they have more chocolate (which Aziraphale likes).
Third time he creates little stars out of them instead of round shapes (Aziraphale finds them more fun to eat).
Fourth time when Aziraphale stuffs his face with them and says they’re his favourite cookies, Crowley gives him a lecture about rules in a mocking tone, and Aziraphale rolls his eyes just like he did.
They laugh while eating the best cookies in the world.
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Imagine Aziraphale teaching Crowley how to bake cookies.
Imagine Aziraphale following the book’s rules like a bible.
Imagine Crowley snorting at the rules.
First time his baking fails because he has no idea what he’s doing. He rolls his eyes at Aziraphale telling him he has to listen to the rules.
Second time his cookies are better than Aziraphale’s because a few swift changes makes them more crunchy (which Aziraphale likes) and they have more chocolate (which Aziraphale likes).
Third time he creates little stars out of them instead of round shapes (Aziraphale finds them more fun to eat).
Fourth time when Aziraphale stuffs his face with them and says they’re his favourite cookies, Crowley gives him a lecture about rules in a mocking tone, and Aziraphale rolls his eyes just like he did.
They laugh while eating the best cookies in the world.
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As we all know, Aziraphale and Crowley were having two different conversations in the library, I believe that trend will continue even after everything
They figure out the second coming of Christ, save the world, and get to be together but
While Aziraphale gets used to his new life of getting to be with Crowley without fear, Crowley frantically tries to please Aziraphale at all cost
Aziraohale thinks that they're finally at peace, that they can finally be happy
Crowley? Crowley has experienced this before. He's already fallen for it, he's not about to fall for it again
He would be this paranoid mess, thinking that Aziraphale has a foot at the door at all times
And Aziraphale wouldn't even notice for a while, not until something inevitably goes "wrong", and Crowley loses it
So, Crowley is already pleading with Aziraphale not to leave him and rambling about how he can do better, while Aziraphale has no problem waiting 10 minutes for a table to clear at The Ritz
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fun fact!! it turns out that now when u make a new blog, tumblr forces you to follow 3-4 people before you can change your icon or modify your blog in any way!! this, of course, means that, yes, some of the "potential bots" many of us have been automatically blocking could have possibly been genuine new users who were only just seconds in to having an account!!! tumblr is literally screwing new users over!!!!
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Companions reaction to the Inquisitor asking them to be their Maid of Honor/Best Man at their wedding? (Cassandra should've been at the wedding with Sera and my Inquisitor tbh)
(Setting this post Trespasser for continuity.)
Cassandra: The air is filled, immediately and impossibly, with hearts. So few of Cassandra's friends are free to promise themselves to a spouse, and so over the years the Seeker had relinquished that childhood dream to oblivion. But now there is such joy among her dearest friends, and no matter how long or short the engagement and planning Cassandra will be there for everything they need.
And on the day will cry more than anyone else. Everyone will be threatened into forgetting this about her.
Solas:
Varric: Now this is the happy ending to a story he can get behind. Promise an open bar and he is in.
For all of his bluster and faked nonchalance, Kirkwall's viscount is deeply touched. Over the course of this inquisition he has made friends to rival the ones in Kirkwall, and the fact that those sentiments are returned enough to merit such an invitation mean the world. Immediately he takes over logistics, and no matter if there is limited time to plan the wedding goes off without a hitch.
His speech is legendary. People cry. He's putting it in his next book.
Blackwall: It's ridiculous. It's a common request, from a friend, to stand up with them at their wedding. After all this time it shouldn't even be a surprise. But the question brings him to his proverbial knees. For so long, even after everyone knew the truth, Thom Rainier had assumed himself to be unlovable. Tolerated in a time of war for what he brought to the table, but not worthy of true regard.
This is a gift the finally unlocks those chains. He might not know much about weddings, but no matter what they need their would be warden does his best. Like Cassandra, he openly weeps at the ceremony.
Sera: Nothin' like love to make a wedding a party! This may be the one time Sera tones down the pranks, too focused on making sure both the little and big people are happy. Dorian is heavily consulted on clothing, and Skyhold's resident Jenny might even submit to a haircut.
The bakers in Thedas weep for her designs. They are perfect. Might go into the cake business, if cookies don't hold out.
Whole thing goes off without a hitch. Well, except for the actual hitch. That goes perfect.
Vivienne: Darling she is thrilled. No matter their venue or plans Madame de Fer is quick to make sure they have the best. Appointments open, caterers are suddenly free, and her tailors are on hand to make sure that everyone in the wedding party looks their best.
There is some distant sorrow later, watching the couple dance the first of the rest of their lives together, but not for all the gold in the world would she have traded her life with Bastien. That was more than enough for one heart-- it is no trial to be happy for her friends.
Dorian: No matter his travel plans or the demands of the magisterium, the moment they ask Dorian is firmly rooted in place. These people have welcomed him like no other, and to be honored with such a role is...he will not cry in public. It is unseemly for a magister.
Instead he make sure everything he touches is made perfect for them and all problems directed his way. Let them relish in the bliss of their engagement-- he will fight the florists until they realize Minrathous roses are the only way to go. And on the day, he sits patiently with both spouses until their cosmetics are perfect. But that time is also spent in quiet friendship, a moment of peace before their special moment.
Later he will refuse to ruin his own foundation with tears in public, and be quietly smug that his knock down brawl with the sommelier resulted in the best vintages at table.
The Iron Bull: There are flowers everywhere. From the moment he is asked Operation: Wedding is a full go for the Chargers. Marriage is unknown under the Qun, and so in true Ben-Hassrath form Bull takes it upon himself to learn exactly what this role will entail.
Three crashed marriages and a lot of cursing later....well, the venue is perfect, Rocky has invented a confetti cannon, and Krem has earned his place at the Maker's side for turning out a formal coat that will fit his shoulders in record time.
He cries at the ceremony. Few guests are brave enough to comment.
Cole: "Stand as a witness, the best man even if you aren't a man. Be there to celebrate, always a good friend and I want him at my side. I want that too!"
Any guest with ill intent conveniently forget the wedding date and location. One of the florists ties a bow on his hat. People cry, but the tears don't hurt. Its confusing, but he's happy to be there.
Turns out cake is something enjoyed on both sides of the veil.
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refseek.com
www.worldcat.org/
link.springer.com
http://bioline.org.br/
repec.org
science.gov
pdfdrive.com
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