Throwback Thursday Friday:  Tom Payne and Ross Marquand at People’s “Ones To Watch”, 2017.

I can never find the right words to tell people what I’m thinking. Telling them I’m tired doesn’t work, but I can’t seem to vocalize that I’m mentally exhausted and sick of existing. Telling them I’m sad doesn’t work either, but I can’t explain that I’m struggling not to kill myself and that the joy in everything in my life is gone and when I wake up to the sun in my eyes, I have to struggle to get myself out of bed because most of me didn’t even want to wake up at all. I can’t tell them I’m numb because what I’m feeling is so much more complex than numb and I don’t have the vocabulary to tell them that I feel like I’m drowning and it terrifies me that I feel nothing as it’s happening, and that my insides want to scream but I can’t even find it in me to shed a tear anymore, that every single aspect of my life feels like it’s shaded in grey because all the colors were sucked out but I can hardly even remember what colors are because I can no longer remember a time I didn’t feel like this. No, I don’t know how to say that. So I just whisper “I’m fine.”

what the fuck am i doing with my life?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

james mcvey icons

bradley simpson icons

“all the voices in my head come to life, they’re getting louder and I’m terrified, how do you run from your own mind? Is this what I’ve become? Take it back what have I done.”

Faith Marie - antidote

Put a gun at my head and paint the fucking walls

El mundo es feo.

Arde en llamas y se desvanece con el tiempo.

Cada amanecer se siente más viejo.

Su corazón late más lento.

Llora algunas veces.

Y se siente solo casi siempre.

Se vuelve débil.

Está incompleto.

¿Acaso no puedes verlo?