guys Sasha is not the responsible one in the archives. She saw a weird guy with fucked up hands and an uncanny laugh and immediately followed him to several secondary locations. I’m SO sorry to say this but the only og archives crew member with self-preservation instincts is Tim
jonathan sims top character of all time. his best friend is his ex-girlfriend’s cat. he doesn’t drink coffee. he lies about his age but everyone believes him because he acts like a 60 year old man. the second he’s faced with death he asks his coworker if he’s a ghost. he later falls in love with that coworker. instead of having a beautiful narrative arc about the importance of friendship and surrounding yourself with anchors he had a meat freak rip out his rib. he’s canonically asexual.
I know the Triplets have fully abandoned their campaign's old storyline but I feel like if Onyx is the new Mirth and Nyack did become a Silverback one day then Jens could've become the new aspect of Coin because he's so materialistic.
Not to beat a dead horse, but the naming conventions in the Magnus Archives are truly delightful. Jonny really said, “Here’s a cast of fascinating characters! Their names are:
My actual full legal name
The first names of my friends + the last names of famous horror writers
I just remembered that the only espresso in Discworld comes from the Very Fast Coffee Machine, which is in Leonard of Quirm’s cell flat in the Palace.
And this bothers me because I’d love to see the Discworld equivalent of Starbucks because it’d be a glorious mess. Weird seasonal flavours like Cabbage Spice. A special menu for troll coffee, which is made in a very small foundry behind the counter. And this exchange happening every time someone orders a cup of coffee:
“I want a big coffee, so…I’ll get a ‘tall.’”
“Tall is small.”
“Tall is small?”
“It’s Brindisi for small.”
“Then what’s Brindisi for large?”
“Grande.”
“Fine. I’ll get a grande.”
“But here it’s our medium.”
“Then what’s your large?!”
“Venti.”
“VENTI?!”
“Brindisi for twenty. As in, ‘I just spent twenty minutes trying to order a cup of coffee.’”
And about two minutes later, the Watch has to be called.