not meant for this heat

sincerely,

summer lover, august girl

In Mourning For A Little Girl

When I am confronted by the mirror, I still see her- as lovely and as disgusting as she was when I had left her behind. A carcass memory of a face, some blank stare of what I am. Who I was. The harder I stare the more she fights to stay in that mirror. The harder I stare the more I mourn into an abyss.

I know more than I did, which is not to say I know better. Dirty, eager hands have melted my skin to a witch's shriek, leaving only a grotesque taunting, an empty flesh vessel I carry myself in. And if I could only I could grab those grabbings arms and wring them clean like some murky bath towel. To twist and drain their veins arteries fresh so that I can walk and be clean. But I have only ever been tragically paralysed, and brutally silent.

And so I stand here now, some vacant monster of a girl. A bloody handprint waxing my mouth shut. I am not a cannibal but I have eaten myself clean in barbaric swallows. And maybe some lingering smear of blood I left had traced itself back to me. Maybe my gut was manically kicked by the child I had muzzled. Maybe the first voice of my rage had begun with that little girl I sometimes still see in the mirror, whom I had so ruthlessly stomached.

feeling dizzy in this suicidal air

Weyes Blood's 'Titanic Rising' and A Lusting for Peace Within Ruins

In 2023, I discovered Natalie Mering's album admittedly by shazaming a track while at a cafe. Though it was during time where I desperately needed something like it. In a world seemingly plagued by chaos and uncertainty, the pursuit of peace has become a hardship for many. People find themselves yearning for tranquility amidst the ruins of our their creation. And in the mist of this longing, 'Titanic Rising,' influenced by soft rock and music from the 70's, emerges as an ode to human sentimentality and the search for solace in an ever-changing, turbulent world.

My personal favourite track "A Lot's Gonna Change", serves as the opening song for the album, immediately enveloping us in a soundscape that is both haunting and comforting. Her velvety voice, which I find to be almost Karen Carpenter-esque carries a vulnerability that is so inviting. The confrontation of the inevitability of change serves as a reminder that life is a constant flux, whether you may like it or not. The ending line "Let me change my words, show me where it hurts."  hit me insanely hard when I first listened to it. The way it encapsulates the vulnerability and empathy at the core of the song, and essentially, captures a large theme in this album: healing.

Another favourite of mine would be "Something to Believe", one of the most poignant ones, where she reflects on the struggles of navigating a society that is driven by superficiality, and the constant pursuit of external validation which is something I relate to painfully. "Give me something I can see. Something bigger and louder than the voices in me. Something to believe." These lyrics touched me in my own yearning for something greater, something that transcends life and provides a sense of purpose. In many ways, this song also reflects the broader themes of the album where she grapples with the complexities of our modern world and the longing for tranquility within it.

Ultimately, this album holds the search for a harmonious existence, genuine beliefs, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the universe which is still something I navigate in vain. And while acting as perfect music to melancholically wallow in the meaning of life within my bedroom, Weyes Blood's music has also become a vessel for me to carry through the depths of my own introspection. In that sense, it has easily become the album that means the most to me.

VS dressing rooms <3

Literally ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

2014...🎀

i ordered a gold iphone 5 can’t wait to take pics to post on here 💝

-mich

🩷🎀🦓✨💗

2024 will be the revival of 2014 💗

Lady Gaga photographed by Angela Wieland, 2007.

𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍.