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In Hanoi, Vietnam, males who have sex with men have sexual partnerships.
HIV prevalence among men who have Vietnamese sex with men (MSM) may be higher than 10% in Vietnam's two largest cities, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. The purpose of this research was to investigate sexual relationship patterns and experiences among MSM in Hanoi in order to inform HIV prevention initiatives. We used purposive sampling to recruit 17 MSM for in-depth interviews in Hanoi, Vietnam. Participants ranged in age from 19 to 48 years old and hailed from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds. The interviews were tape-recorded, verbatim transcribed, and translated into English. We used content analysis.
Almost all of the guys in the research perceived same-sex attraction as a "nature" trait. Many informants had covert yet prosperous social lives in Hanoi's MSM social circles. Poor males, on the other hand, had difficulty connecting to these networks. The number of sexual partners during a lifetime ranged from one to 200. Seven of the participants had been in relationships ranging in length from one to four years. Relationships were not primarily focused on love feelings for multiple men, but were instead inextricably linked to economic and practical dependency. In terms of emotional attachment, commitment, trust, relationship ideals, sexual satisfaction, and the exchange of money or gifts, sexual partnerships differed widely. Faithfulness was highly appreciated yet widely regarded as elusive. Several informants reported feeling tremendous familial pressure to marry and have children.
This study contextualizes sexual relationships among MSM in Hanoi and emphasizes the importance of HIV prevention actions that include not only HIV prevention in the context of casual sexual encounters, but also how to effectively target preventative measures that can reach MSM in partnerships.
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Improve Your Oral-Sex Game With These Sexy Blowjob Suggestions
You've come to the correct spot if you're wondering how to give a blowjob — and not just any blowjob, but the finest blowjob. Giving head is all about practice, selecting motions that feel good for both you and your partner, and understanding some crucial fundamentals. Oral sex is a terrific way to connect with your partner, whether you're delivering a stunning blowjob as foreplay or for the main act.
On that note, while it is crucial to consider your partner's pleasure, it is equally important to prioritize your own pleasure. This includes only giving your partner a terrific blowjob if you want to, selecting oral-sex positions that are comfortable for you, and not being afraid to say "no" if you don't like how things feel or how it's progressing.
Fortunately, there are numerous techniques to assist your partner in experiencing a strong orgasm while also having fun yourself. So, to ensure that you can successfully pleasure both your partner and yourself, we chatted with a few professionals about how to administer a BJ that is enjoyable for everyone involved. But, before we get into some of our A+ blowjob recommendations, let's start with the fundamentals.
What Exactly Is a Blowjob?
A blowjob, also known as a BJ, giving head, or fellatio, is when oral intercourse is performed on a partner with a penis. (On the other hand, cunnilingus is oral sex performed on someone who has a vagina, vulva, and/or clitoris.) It usually entails stimulating your partner's penis, balls, and/or perineum using your mouth, lips, and/or tongue (the area between the anus and front genitals).
How to Perform a Blowjob
The most important thing to understand about how to give a blowjob is that no "blowing" is required. We'll get into more specific blowjob techniques later, but for now, a blowjob is given by wrapping your lips around your partner's penis, moving your head up and down to your comfort level, and licking around the penis with your tongue at the same time.
When you have a penis inside your mouth, keep your mouth open in an "O" shape and avoid using any teeth on your partner's genitals (unless otherwise noted by your partner). Some people use their hands in addition to their mouths, but a blowjob may be anything you want it to be.
Once you've mastered the fundamentals, you may improve your blowjob with the greatest blowjob suggestions listed below.
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I'm straight, but when I'm with my boyfriend, I fantasize about having sex with women.
Most individuals are bothered or perplexed by their fantasies, so let me begin by addressing fantasizing in general: it is natural, frequent, and healthy. All it indeed implies is that you're imagining a lesbian sex scene in your thoughts. It generates a new type of excitement at the moment, and many people love that extra stimulation. It's also crucial to know that fantasizing about things you wouldn't necessarily want to try in real life is frequent and normal.
That's why imagining is so enjoyable at times - you know you'd never do that in real life. The same is true for non-sexual desires, such as wishing to be famous but knowing you could never deal with the paparazzi, social media harassment, and constant pressure. So it's perfectly fine if you fantasize about ladies but don't want to be with one in real life. It’s also one of the most popular dreams women have. (However, if you've ever been thinking about hooking up with another lady, you should know that it's completely normal and healthy. If you are experiencing difficulty allowing yourself to be attracted to different genders, you should consult with a sex therapist or counselor.)
When it comes to fantasizing about someone else when with a spouse, there are a few crucial considerations to consider.
First, are you actually desiring something different from yourself or your spouse at the time you're fantasizing? For example, if your spouse is going incredibly hard and fast, you might fantasize about someone caressing you more softly and tenderly. At that time, fantasizing may be a strategy for you to avoid approaching your partner for what you need or desire. Maybe you're too nervous or self-conscious to give your spouse feedback or make a request. If that's the case, I strongly advise you to speak up more often when you're with your partner.
The second question to ask is whether your fantasy is keeping you from being with your partner in the way you want to be at that time. Consider how imagining impacts your ability to be present. Is your dream only a minor scenario that you're watching in the background, or does it take your complete attention and drag you away from the moment with your boyfriend?
Then consider how it relates to the type of sex you want to have. For example, if you and your boyfriend are still quite casual, and sex is light and enjoyable, losing yourself in a fantasy for a little while is not a big problem. But, if you and your partner are enjoying very meaningful, personal sex, can you show up in the way you want to show up while fantasizing? Is it fantasy that gets in the way? I want to be clear that there are no judgments here; it all comes down to you being honest about the type of sex you want to have and whether or not thinking about someone else keeps you from having it.
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I'm interested in having sex with my girlfriend's close friend, and I believe she is as well. How should I go about doing this?
I am a 19-year-old white man dating an Asian woman. She is18 years old. We've been dating for about a year, and she treats me extremely well and would go out of her way for me.
In bed, I can persuade her to do everything except ask others to join in. She is open about teen sex but does not want another man's penis within her. That's fine, and I respect it. While she is fantastic in bed and caters to all of my desires, I, unfortunately, have a physical sexual infatuation with one of her girlfriends. She is also her age, Chinese, and quite attractive. I started having feelings for her approximately 6-8 months ago, and it's been up and down since then. I didn't have a crush on her until I saw her one day and something lit in me. We go to a lot of events and clubs as a group, and I've only had a few little talks with her, but I'm not sure if she's being kind or flirting with me.
As men, we can't control our sexual desires, but fantasizing about her friend, in particular, feels incredible. We went out last Saturday, and her companion was particularly gorgeous, with curly hair and a good top, and always shorts, revealing her amazing legs and firm tiny ass. It drives me insane, especially when I'm using or drinking something. I'm sober on Monday, yet I can't get her out of my brain. I don't want to date her because she doesn't have a boyfriend and never brings any guys around us. She enjoys partying but does not surrender herself to any man.
The saddest part is that she has known my girlfriend for a long time and they are like best friends. It's lovely since we all like the same music, which is an excellent way to bond, and they're both really brilliant, except I want to do sexual things with her friend.
I don't want to keep this feeling any longer, but I also don't want to jeopardize my nice relationship. But I'm human, and I have desires, but I know it's best not to act on them.
Whatever I say, if we ever find ourselves alone, I might try some passive flirting with her friend, such as "Hey, why don't you have a boyfriend?"
" to see how she reacts. It may mean one of two things if she gets all blushy and smiling, but I'm trying to figure out if she's content with having a little sex here and then. I'm afraid that if I say anything like "Hey, I think you're hot, let's have sex" or something along those lines, she'll go back to me if and I'll lose both ladies.
I need some male and female advice on this. How do you approach this situation? I want to be able to drop subtle signals to her and observe how she reacts. As a guy, I believe she likes me, but she may never engage in sexual activity with me because I am dating her buddy. I only want to ask her, and I don't want her to tell my girlfriend. Any suggestions?
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I'm 13 years old and I'm desperate for sex. Is it natural for a 13-year-old to desire to have sex?
When people reach their adolescent years, it is common for them to begin thinking about having teen sex. Puberty makes people more curious and conscious of their own and other people's sexuality. These sentiments can be overwhelming at times, and many believe they must act on them in order for them to go away. This is not correct.
Even if you're feeling turned on or like you want to have sex, that doesn't imply you're ready. A healthy sexual encounter entails much more than simply feeling desire or being inquisitive about how sex may feel. Before engaging in any sexual activity, it is critical to have a good and trusting relationship with your partner.
There are numerous positive and negative consequences to having sex. Sex is one of many ways to communicate intimacy with a partner, but it can have serious implications, such as becoming pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). If someone isn't ready for sex, they may later experience remorse or realize they made a bad decision and wish they could alter it.
If they become a distraction, some teenagers find that masturbating can help them release their sexual feelings. Masturbation is defined as touching one's own body for sexual pleasure. It can, but does not always, culminate in orgasm.
You will eventually decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that moment, make sure you can communicate openly with your spouse and explain what you want or don't want to do. For example, perhaps you feel comfortable kissing and stroking while wearing your clothes but don't want to do anything else. Both parties must understand each other's boundaries so that neither one feels pushed, uncomfortable, or regrets anything the next day.
You'll be ready for sex one day. Many teenagers wait until they have graduated from high school or are in a certain type of committed relationship, such as falling in love, being with someone for an extended period of time, or getting married. When you believe you are ready, consult with friends, parents, or someone you trust about your decision. Take the time to discuss it with your partner and ensure that it is something they desire as well.
Most likely, if you take the time to ensure that you are ready for sex, it will feel amazing and you will not be sorry later. Isn't that the whole point?
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How to Include Sex Toys in the Mix
When adding sex toys to the mix, go slowly and with plenty of lubricants.
For example, you can tease the opening with the tip of a butt plug before carefully inserting it. Keep the butt plug inside while licking and stroking them for twice the pleasure and potentially an anal orgasm.
When to stop — and how to keep going
You don't have to stop unless your jaw is extremely fatigued and cramping, or unless they ask you to. It's entirely up to you. If you're stuck for ideas, consider the following.
If they want you to continue,
If you're willing to keep going, keep doing what you're doing because it's probably working.
Increasing your speed and enthusiasm with well-placed moans and eye contact might help them arrive faster.
There's no need to swallow if they're ready to come, even if you let them finish in your mouth.
Continue sucking, allowing the sperm to enter your slightly opened lips. If you're going to swallow something, this is the time. If not, let it dribble down your chin (sexier than it sounds) or spit it into a nearby cup or cloth.
If the texture of tapioca doesn't appeal to you, try giving them a hand just as they're about to climax. Allow them to finish on your chin, chest, or another body part.
If you wish to halt,
If you wish to stop, by all means, do so.
And if you're not ready for the hot time to finish, keep in mind that it doesn't have to because the BJ portion of the show is over.
Consider it foreplay and begin kissing your way up their body. From there, you can go wherever you choose. Suggestions include climbing on or turning over for penetration, as well as guiding them down so they can reciprocate orally.
Things to keep in mind
Bodies are unique. Forget what you've seen in porn, where the penis is always large, smooth as eggplant, and complimented for taste "oh so nice" while being handled by an equally beautiful tongue.
Everyone has a distinct odor and taste.
Everything from what you eat to the soap you use might have an impact on your distinct odor. And you can't expect to get a penis out of your pants without some sweat or odor.
A brief shower is generally enough to keep things clean down there. Any odor that remains is completely natural and acceptable.
Different elements influence how a person's fluids taste, just like your natural odor. There are things people can do to improve their taste, such as drinking more water, eating less red meat, and smoking less.
Penises and pubic hairs are available in a variety of colors, forms, and sizes.
Penises have a wide range of physical traits.
You're either circumcised or not. Some are longer than others. There are dark and light ones, smooth and ridged. Everything is fine.
Not all pubes are neat and tidy. Some folks have a rambunctious bush, which is quite fine.
Oral sex is still dangerous.
There are oral sexually transmitted infections (STIs). STIs can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact or contact with bodily fluids.
And don't be fooled by a healthy-looking package. STIs do not all create symptoms. By utilizing flavored condoms, you can reduce your risk while still giving yourself a pleasant reward.
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How to Improve Your Doggy Style Sex
According to Skyn Condoms' 2019 Intimacy Survey, "doggy style" is the most preferred sex position enjoyed in bedrooms. But this comes as no surprise. This "from behind" favorite has been around almost as long as people have had sex. That's presumably why it's included in the Kama Sutra, the holy grail of sexual literature. It's listed under the slightly awful title "Congress of a Cow." Yeah, doggy style is a pretty reliable sex position to adopt when looking for nice sex. But why settle for something decent when you can make it great? Here are a few pointers and strategies to help you achieve just that.
1. Go Low
Doggy Style often needs the person on the receiving end to be on their hands and knees. However, a small tilt can allow for a more intimate sensation. Instruct your companion to lengthen their arch and use their elbows to support themselves instead of their hands. This allows for more intense and enjoyable penetration.
2. Tighten it up
Request that your partner place their legs closes together, with yours on each side of them. During intercourse, the closed posture will deliver more sensation. It also allows your partner to have more control over the depth of insertion. That's something they might like.
3. Get your hands dirty
The advantage of this stance is that it frees up your hands. Of course, this does not mean they should do nothing. Take advantage of the opportunity to explore your partner's erogenous zone. Nipples are only a reach away. You'll reach the clitoris if you travel a little further south. Give it some attention, and she'll have a higher chance of orgasm.
4. Introduce a Special Something
Doggy fashion is the ideal canvas for displaying some kink. Consider giving your partner a mild spanking. Or perhaps get a handful of their hair. Let's face it: sex can grow boring after a while. These kinds of adjustments can breathe new vitality into a room.
5. Play with your toys
Doggy style, unlike other sex positions, does not require you to plaster your bodies together. That is, it provides you with some breathing room. Make good use of it. Introduce some extras. As an example, consider a vibrator. It's a great technique to liven things up and deliver direct clitoral stimulation during sex. The more of it you have, the more likely it is that she will climax.
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How to Have Your First Lesbian Sex
How do you get your lesbian sex? We are frequently asked this topic by lesbians of all ages who have never experienced lesbian sex and are concerned that they do not know "how." Enjoying sex isn't about memorizing 16 positions or knowing the greatest angle to fuck from; it's half-animal, half-heart, and rarely has anything to do with your rational brain, cognitive reasoning, or anything a person could tell you or anything you could read on the internet.
While it is true that you will be more confident and experienced one day, it is also true that your body was born knowing how to have sex, just as it was born knowing how to eat. Your first time doesn't have to be a huge deal; in fact, some of us don't recall our first times at all. It can also be a big issue if you want it to be. But, in the end, each relationship is unique – fully, completely, and entirely unique. So, what could we possibly tell you?
However, many of us recall a time when lesbian sex felt like fumbling or improvising while trying to play a sport we didn't understand, such as badminton. Or a sport that everyone expected us to be terrific at but we weren't. Others recall jumping into bed and instinctively knowing what to do from the moment they entered. Many of us had sex with males in our teens and didn't have sex with a lady until we were in our mid-to-late twenties when we felt like novices all over again. So we can understand why you might want to know a little bit more before taking the jump.
Sex education programs typically neglect women's sexuality, much alone LGBTQ sexuality. And, while many heteros learn about sex together in their early adolescence, many lesbians do not begin that early and/or are not peer socialized into the sexual realm as straights are, not to mention that our entire media culture is constructed around and fascinated with heterosexual sex.
So let's get back to basics. However, as we write this, we're concerned that we have no fucking idea what we're talking about. We intend to start a conversation in which people can contribute their own stories and experiences, and everyone can ask questions!
Disclaimer: This piece (originally written in 2010 and largely unchanged since then) concentrates on lesbian sex between cisgender women, but it is also broadly applicable to sex between any two individuals with vulvas, and it is full of fantastic advice for anyone having sex with someone who has a vulva. Unlike the majority of our sex content, the language in this piece reflects that primarily for SEO purposes. However, trans women are women, and they do have lesbian sex, as you can see in these posts: How To Have Lesbian Sex With A Trans Woman, F*cking Trans Women, and Harnesses for Trans Women.
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How to Have Sexual Relations with a Fat Girl
To cover my body the first few times I fucked as a fat female with a big butt, I wore my boyfriend's Superman hoodie. I was 16, a size 14, and it was 2009, long before body positivity became popular or appeared on my Tumblr feed. As a 26-year-old woman sporting a size 20, the shagging game has evolved year after year as my body has grown larger and the dating pool has shrunk. We can squeeze our bellies together, grab one other's bodies, and enjoy the thickness of our flesh in private (or with other partners, if they're up for group sex) with plus-size partners. Fucking a fat female when you don't know what she likes or dislikes appears to be a minefield for most people with thinner builds.
I feel the urge to fix my weight before fucking someone fresh. My Bumble bio is "honey with a tummy," my photo selection is full body images, and I still find myself asking, "How long have you fancied overweight girls?"
The responses range from "never" to "it's a personal preference" to "I never noticed." The latter is the most offensive. I'm the size of the elephant in the room, and you want to act as if I don't weigh twice as much as you do? In truth, I'll shag a fat fetishist occasionally to feel like a magnificent goddess, and the rest of the time I'm just checking sure they're not a fatphobe before letting them push a finger in.
In a nutshell, it's a minefield. If only someone could put together a useful guide... Oh, come on, here we go.
PRESS THE FUPA
Fat girls universally agree that the FUPA is the scariest portion of our bodies. My FUPA has been touched so little that I'm shocked she hasn't shriveled up and gone off. I believe this is what some of the guys were hoping for as well. Avoiding belly contact makes the presence of the belly much more noticeable. If you eat a cupcake but leave the frosting on the plate, the icing will still remain (or taste like a treat).
If you're going to fuck me, fuck me all. The sexiest shags are the ones who grip my stomach like it's a third breast, kiss the flesh on the way down to the kitty, and don't try to make my body look smaller than it is. When you get over yourself, get a grip, and get into the actual body of the overweight girl you're shagging, you'll be shocked at how hot hanging on to soft skin feels.
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How to Have Sex with Multiple People at the Same Time in a Relaxed Manner
The orgy invitation email appeared in my inbox unexpectedly, addressed directly to Gmail; whoever was in charge of the organization's public relations knew me personally. The subject line was enticing — "This St. Valentine's Day...," it read in the big text — and the email concluded by inviting me to "Come and join us on our voyage down the rabbit hole (or any hole you'd want)." I highlighted the message, allowing it to linger at the top of my priority inbox like a red mouth. After that, I pitched the story to my editor.
On the 14th of February, I washed my hair with lavender Dr. Bronner's, painted my toenails poppy-red, shaved my legs and labia while hopping on one foot in my tiny shower, chose a pair of silky underwear, and then carefully rolled on a pair of black thigh highs, which I clipped to a $75 garter belt I bought online my freshman year of college.
Then I put on a dress and proceeded to the indicated address, which was enclosed in a second letter and included a phone number. The wind blew up my skirt and moved between my legs in the cold winter air.
The book's title, The Bonobo Handshake, comes from the fact that bonobo monkeys greet each other with oral sex, which is actually cunnilingus. This is significantly superior to the human greeting of circular jerking. group Sex At Dawn, a pop-evolutionary psychology book published in 2010, made headlines for comparing human and bonobo sexuality; one of its primary points was that monogamy is against human nature. Birds do it, after all. It's done by bees. Even the trees participate. So, you want to screw? The argument is that our sexual preoccupations are social constructs, and it might be preferable if we followed the lead of bonobos.
The sex party was hosted in an apartment, with the host bringing us into a dimly lit living room with candles and a floor lamp set to its lowest level. In case you were wondering, we shook hands like humans, not bonobos.
The apartment smelt like incense, with smoke rising in white columns from pillars burning throughout the space. It was considerate of them to us something to make us forget how our bodies smelled while they worked. There was champagne and candy, conversation hearts mixed with boxed chocolates and caramels. Condoms and lubrication were also strewn over the place like sweets. I poured myself a glass of white wine, drank it faster than I should have, and then poured another.
I probably knew 10 to 20% of the folks in the room. We lingered with our glasses of wine, talking around the truth because we were all conditioned to think of sex as something shameful and private. We were getting itchy after standing around for what seemed like an eternity, fully clothed, conversing, and introducing ourselves. Occasionally, one of us would massage the other's arm or down the back in a long, smooth gesture. This would turn into a signal later in the night — should we? — but for now, it was merely a reminder of why we had all come.
Then, because I'm always the first to do things like this, I pulled off my dress and drew it over my head. Shirts and jeans popped off all around me like a chain reaction, turning the room a fleshier hue of heat. A couple who had arrived as a pair began kissing. A girl in glittery lingerie hung the heart-shaped insert that came with the box of chocolates and put the night's safe word — cacao, after the Portlandia sketch — on it.
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How do same-sex couples have sex? How can they practice safer sex?
My research uncovered various reasons why straight males have intercourse with other men. Several men stated that their marriages lacked the sex they desired and that while they wanted to stay married, they also desired more sex. Extramarital sex with guys satisfied their sexual cravings without jeopardizing their relationships.
How do same-sex couples have sexual relations? How can they engage in safer sex?
People who identify as lesbian, gay sex, bisexual, or heterosexual can experience and express pleasure in a variety of ways. There isn't just one way for two individuals to have sex, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
What two people of the same sex do to have sex together is entirely up to them. Many people believe that sex involves simply inserting a penis into a vagina, yet this may not be the most pleasurable action for the two persons. This holds true for heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, and gay individuals.
Males who identify as gay, bisexual, or simply do sexual things with other males may give and receive pleasure using their fingers (manual stimulation), mouths (oral sex), and numerous body parts. They may kiss, touch their bodies, or touch the penis and other regions such as the scrotum or the anus. Penises are sometimes used to penetrate the anal orifice (anal sex).
Females that identify as lesbian, bisexual, or simply do sexual things with other females may use their fingers (manual stimulation), mouths (oral sex), and various body parts to touch each other's genitals. They may kiss, touch each other's breasts, or touch the clitoris and other vaginal or anus locations. They may use their fingers to penetrate the vaginal aperture or the anal opening (anal sex). Some people massage their vulvas together as well.
Many of these habits have the potential to spread sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), thus those who have partners of the same sex should educate themselves on safer sex. When performing oral-anal stimulation or oral sex on a female, it is critical to use a condom for oral sex and anal sex, and a dental dam or a condom cut lengthwise to make a sheet of latex to use as a barrier.
When two people communicate effectively, they can engage in a variety of sexual acts that are mutually agreed upon, pleasurable, and innovative. This holds true regardless of whether they are heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, or gay.
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How did you discover your younger sister was having sexual relations?
How would you respond if you discovered your younger sex was having sex? We spoke to three Nigerian women about how they found out that their younger sisters were sexually active and how they reacted. What they had to say was as follows:
We were gisting one day when she stated, "You know I'm now having sex, right?" The infant has no fear. Even though I don't consider sex to be a horrible thing, I felt bad. I was afraid that someone would take advantage of her. She was 19 years old at the time.
I reiterated what I had told her about sex — using protection and maintaining vaginal health. I didn't seem to have anything to be concerned about because she sounded informed, which made me feel like I did something correctly.
She now comes to me with questions or concerns, such as sex discomfort.
My siblings and I get along well, however, my younger sister is closer to me. She tells me everything. She's now in college, and I know she has a boyfriend. She informs me about their relationship problems, and I provide my advice.
She called me the first time she had sex and said, "Guess what?" I assumed it was something else, but she informed me it was just sex. I was heartbroken. Perhaps because she is the final child. I regard her as a baby even though she is 20 years old. I had to act as if I shared her happiness because I didn't want her to feel awful.
My heart bleeds every time she calls to tell me she's having horrible sex. I don't want my child to mature.
She was too afraid to tell me, so she asked my flatmate to do it for her. My flatmate provided her with condoms and lubrication. When we were all gisting one evening. My housemate informed me. I was surprised, but I can't say I was surprised. I knew she had a boyfriend, and I remember what I was up to when she was her age. I tried not to overthink it like my folks. My flatmate and I spent the remainder of the night talking to her about safe sex, and we haven't hidden our sexcapades from her since.
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How can sexual life be improved?
A happy sexual life will result from giving your partner's wildest wife sex more weight than your own. Saying that is the first step in developing a successful connection. Following some sex-boosting advice will help you maximize the sex between you and your spouse once you've mastered this.
To get your partner in the mood, practice touching by using your hands and fingers.
Do your homework before going to bed with your spouse, according to research. This will help you understand how to make the most of your positions and how to make love most appropriately.
Get physical: Try being physical with your spouse when you're stressed, exhausted, or in no desire to do anything. This includes kissing, touching, and direct eye contact. This will improve your mutual understanding and maintain your sex desire high.
Change sex positions: Constantly switching between different sex positions will increase libido and improve your performance. Positions affect your mood, thus you need to know what position will make your spouse feel better about you.
Discuss it with your partner: This is one method to set the tone for you both. Feel free to discuss your sexual desires with your spouse and learn what they are like for him or her as well. You'll become desirous of having sex as a result of this.
You'll need to put your spouse's happiness first rather than prioritizing your own sexual desires. A happy sexual life depends on being able to relate to your partner in bed and learning what they value most. Your sex life will become more intimate and interesting as a result. Remember that the more you do it, the better your marriage or relationship will become.
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How Can I Make My Wife See How Important Sex Is To Me?
How can men communicate to their wives how important wife sex is to them? Let's have a look at your options:
Being romantic for the sake of sex will be perceived as manipulative.
Indicating your desires will most likely push her away.
You will become resentful if you do nothing.
Fortunately, there is a better option: speak with her.
Recognize What Sex Means to You
Before you do, take some time to consider what sex means to you.
The Institute for Sexual Wholeness' co-founder, Dr. Michael Sytsma, summarizes the science of sex. Males' oxytocin and prolactin levels rise during orgasm, making them feel more connected and calm.
Furthermore, guys need to feel wanted, loved, and desired on an emotional level. All of this is to argue that sex is essential to a man's self-esteem and happiness.
Your wife is unaware of this.
The only problem is that your wife probably doesn't get it.
You may appear to your wife as "one gigantic sex gland with no feelings attached," thanks in part to Hollywood and mainstream sitcoms. Nothing could be further from reality. This is often where communication breaks down.
Most guys do not fully comprehend what sex means to them and, as a result, are unable to articulate their wants. Many women feel that "he simply wants more sex."
Discuss Sex in a Public Place
Dr. Sytsma recommends taking your wife to a neutral location where sex is not an option.
Take a seat in a coffee shop. Take a lengthy walk. Discuss with her what intimacy means to you. Plan out what you want to say ahead of time, and go in with the mindset that you'll work through the challenges together.
When you go out, tell her you to want to chat about what sex means to you and the benefits of having a fulfilling sex life for both of you.
Talking Points for These Discussions
It is crucial to me that you are engaged and fulfilled when it comes to sex.
"No, I will not be sexually pleased if my wife offers all the sex I desire but does it reluctantly or solely to meet my sexual requirements," 75% of men respond.
That's how essential it is to me that you're happy with our sexual relationship.
Having a consistent, mutually enjoyable sex life makes me feel loved and desired, just as chatting and being held does.
I may make sexual advances at moments that appear to be the most inappropriate. That's because making love is a source of comfort for me, just as being in my arms is for you.
When our sex life is working for both of us, I feel more vibrant and confident in general.
When our sex life is going well, you give me the same confidence you have when you look good in a certain dress.
I want to withdraw when sex is continually not a priority for you. This makes me feel the same way you would if I stopped talking to you.
I take it personally when you say "No" to sex, and it hurts me. It's about more than just having more sex.
When you want sex, especially when you initiate sex with me, it boosts my confidence and power even the next day at work.
Men and Women Are Not the Same
Recognize that men and women were born with physiological distinctions. Men have an assertive drive, which implies they seek sex.
Women, on the other hand, have a receptive drive, which means that they like and accept sex but rarely initiate it. Discuss the differences and suggest potential remedies. One option is to make her feel close not only in the bedroom but also in other places.
Pursue her in non-sexual ways (notes, date nights, lunchtime calls), allow her time to warm up before sex, flirt with her throughout the day, and create an environment of intimacy and emotional stability.
Understand that some mothers with young children are physically fatigued by the end of the day. Help her plan ahead for a nap on a specific day of the week to feel more rested, or wait until the weekend to catch up on her sleep.
Communicate With Your Wife
Explain to her that not feeling desired affects all aspects of your life for her to better understand you. More than three-quarters of men say sex gives them confidence, a better sense of well-being, and overall satisfaction.
She will see her own potential to help her husband obtain the confidence he needs to confront the world if she understands the male's emotional needs.
As a result, your efforts in preparing a romantic candlelight supper may result in the anticipated after-dinner action for one night. A meaningful conversation could benefit both of you and lead to many nights of satisfying romance.
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Hot Positions for Sex You've Probably Never Tried
After a thousand times, you and your partner can decide that a missionary position is no longer suitable. The same may be said of doggie fashion and its numerous varieties. This does not necessarily imply that you and your spouse should end your relationship or that your sex urges are decreasing. You might simply need to change things up! Yes, even having sex in the same manner over and over again becomes monotonous.
When things go old, there are two easy methods to freshen up your sexual repertoire. The first is to include sex toys in your romantic encounters. Try some bizarre sex positions as a second option.
The latter is what this essay will emphasize. (However, if you're looking to spice up your sex life with toys, click here to read our list of the best sex toys for couples.)
Don't worry; even though we call these postures "crazy," most couples can perform them. Except for The Maypole, which requires extremely powerful glutes and quadriceps to execute, you should be able to hold the other positions. While they do demand some strength and flexibility, it shouldn't be too much of a problem if you take your time getting into the position.
Position of sex: The Cat
also known as the Coital Alignment Technique
Why it's awesome: According to sex researcher Nicole Prause, Ph.D., this variation on the missionary position increases clitoral stimulation for your partner. In fact, prior studies found that women who had trouble inducing orgasm during the missionary position were more likely to orgasm using the coital alignment technique.
Start in the missionary position and move your body up and to the side to test it. Prause advises shifting your weight back and forth rather than pushing up and down to keep your body near her clitoris.
Relationship status: Ottoman Empire
Eric M. Garrison, a sex counselor and author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex, explains why it's fantastic by saying that it's adaptable. It allows you to thrust at the same time, which can be difficult to do with a bed entirely underneath you, he explains, but she gets to regulate the depth and speed. Additionally, both of your hands are completely free, allowing you to tickle her erogenous areas or add a sex toy.
How to try it: Lie back with your entire back supported by an ottoman (without wheels!). So that she may move up and down, have her straddle you. If your core is strong, you can slide down the ottoman halfway, giving you more room to thrust.
Former Job Title: The Chair
Try it by placing your back against a wall and pretending to do a wall sit. According to Garrison, you should have your legs almost at a straight angle and close enough together so that she may straddle you.
Your hands are free to play with her breasts, rest on her hips, or rub her back as you thrust, however it could require more focus to stay balanced. Her height might prevent her feet from touching the ground. If it becomes too taxing, have her put one foot on the ground to create a tripod, which is easier on your legs.
Position for sex: The Maypole
Why it's awesome: According to Garrison, it's a little wild and the challenge may be incredibly thrilling. Furthermore, it will be even more enjoyable for her because her clitoris will brush on her pubic bone.
You can try it by having her wrap her legs around you while you're still seated in a chair. Then, with her leaning back, raise her up to a nearly standing position by placing your hands beneath her bum. Up and down your shaft, raise her. Keep your legs slightly bent to assist you to keep your energy up.
A sexual position is known as the Twist and Shout
This sex position is ideal since it slows down and encourages deeper penetration. Garrison claims that this makes it even more private because you can see her body while keeping eye contact with her.
How to try it: Lie on your back with one leg bent and the other outstretched, as if you were going to do a sit-up. She's welcome to perch on one of your legs. As she glides up and down your penis, she might then change the depth and speed. Depending on which side of your penis naturally curves, she can sit and grind against you in the opposite direction of the curvature, which should feel amazing for you.
Position for sex: Cradled Cowgirl
Why it's awesome: According to sex researcher Jessica Wood, Ph.D., this position is perfect when you want to provide her clitoral stimulation while still preserving the intimacy and closeness that some other face-to-face positions deliver (c).
How to attempt it: Have her lay forward so that her face rests against your neck rather than assume the standard sitting-up cowgirl position. Your body will be better positioned to deliver more direct clitoral stimulation as a result.
Orally or by way of a backdoor
Since you're approaching it from behind rather than in front, it can feel different from typical oral sex positions, says Wood, which is why it's excellent.
Wood suggests having her lie on her stomach with a cushion under her hips to help elevate her butt up so you can more easily access her vulva as a test. It also frees up your hands so you can place one or two fingers inside her vagina and stimulate it at the same time.
Position for sex: Doggy Angle
Why it's awesome: According to Moushumi Ghose, a registered marriage therapist and author of Classic Positions Reinvented, it's a terrific variation on the traditional doggie position and doesn't demand as much strength or flexibility from both of you.
How to test it: Lay her face down with her butt lifted for simple access. Your legs should be tucked in between hers. She can prop herself up with her forearms while holding her hands in front of her head and neck for additional support, or she can tuck a pillow under her tummy. Put your hands on her back or hips to make it more intense and thrust harder.
The Double Decker is in the sex position.
Why it's awesome: According to Ghose, this is a simple transition from any woman-on-top position. Additionally, from this stance, you can watch how her body responds to your thrusts and have unrestricted access to her entire body, including her breasts and clitoris.
Start out in reverse cowgirl to give it a shot. Have her lean back until her elbows are supported, her back resting on your chest, and her arms bearing the weight of her body. To have more control over the rhythm of your thrusting, hold her by the waist.
Position for sex: The Galley
Why it's awesome: According to Ghose, it can be exciting to watch her assume leadership. Additionally, from this position, you can use your fingers if she enjoys anal play.
This is an adaptation of the reverse cowgirl. Lean back on your arms while squatting with your legs forward. She will straddle you at the hips, using her arms for support, and lay down on your knees with her head close to your feet. Her legs should be extended behind her, but for added support, they might be bent at the knees. Ghose suggests pushing her back and forth while placing your hands on her butt.
The Twisted Spoon, in the sex position
Why it's awesome: According to Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., a professor of human sexuality at the University of Guelph in Canada, this spooning variety enables deep penetration but isn't as physically demanding as doggy style. Additionally, it increases the tension in both of your bodies, which readily increases desire, according to her.
How to try it: Lie on your sides, one of you behind the other. Her top leg should be raised in the air. She should hold on to the ankle of her elevated leg while you make a back thrust. Use a sex gadget (like this high-tech massager with tremendous motor power) or stimulate her breasts or clitoris to really get her going.
The sex position of the Duet
Why it rocks: According to Amie Harwick, Ph.D., M.F.T., a marital and family therapist with a practice in California and the author of The New Sex Bible for Women, masturbation is one of the finest ways to understand your own body, how you enjoy pleasure, and ultimately how a partner can fulfill you.
The best way to test it, suggests Harwick, is to invite your partner to touch herself as you touch yourself. She might be hesitant at first, so make her sit in front of you and lean her back onto your chest to make it more comfortable and feel less intrusive.
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Exactly How to Have Bathtub Sex
Having bathroom sex is fraught with controversy for those of us who live in New York. I mean, I have a full tub, but I doubt two adult-sized persons could comfortably fit in it. (I haven't attempted it yet, so who knows?) But if you're fortunate enough to have a large tub, here is some bathtub sex advice.
A dip in the tub is usually relaxing, but sex in the tub is twice as enjoyable.
1. Establish the setting.
Consider dark lighting, lit candles, and a seductive soundtrack. If you're feeling brave, a glass of wine. Make sure you have everything you might need once you're inside. In this instance, I'd keep waterproof lubricant on hand because water takes away any natural lubrication.
2. Determine the ideal temperature.
Not too hot, not too cold, and keep in mind that the longer you stay in there, the cooler the water becomes. Start with something a little warmer than you want it, and it will be perfect by the time you start putting it on.
3....As well as the appropriate water level.
In this situation, too much water will cause splashing and slippage. If you don't have waterproof lube on hand, you'll want it low enough so you can get in and out of it. It's usually better to have options, and you can always add additional water or drain it later if necessary.
4. Assume your role.
Here are two carnal positions that are effective in this situation: The first is where you straddle your man while facing away from him. Then, place your hands on the bottom of the tub to keep yourself stable, and ride him with his hands on your hips. If that bothers your knees, try sitting on his lap and wrapping your legs over his body.
5. Clean each other up.
After you've got your fill of pleasure, it's time for a little rub-a-dub-dub. I don't recommend adding bubbles until now because it's probably not good for your nether bits. Few things make me happier than cleaning each other's bodies and, even better, washing each other's hair. It's really private and romantic to me. It's almost as good as cuddling!
6. Remove your towel.
The terrible aspect of having sex in the bathtub is that it must come to an end. You'll both be pruned at some point. However, guess what? Drying each other off is also fun, and if you still want some one-on-one time, the bed isn't far away!
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Everything You Need to Know About Sex Toy Cleaning and Care
The sex toy industry is booming. According to current predictions, it is a nearly $30 billion sector that might grow to more than $50 billion by 2026. Everyone is in on the fun these days, from lone users to couples, millennials to baby boomers. Sex toys are even recommended by doctors for health reasons.
Sex toy safety, on the other hand, isn't usually top of mind, despite the fact that experts advise it should be. For starters, the sex toy sector is not controlled by watchdog organizations such as the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which means no one is checking that toys are safe. Of course, sex toys are utilized in very intimate situations.
So, how can you safeguard yourself while still enjoying the excitement that sex toys have to offer? Here are five critical safety precautions that every knowledgeable sex toy buyer should be aware of.
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