Text Message || Triton Sisters

Melody: NOT WHILE SHE WAS A FISH!!!!

Melody: 👀👀👀 We have a nail appointment at Rapunzel's on Wednesday.

Melody: Yeah! Yeah, that's true, you're so right. Phew. If he is it probably means nothing. Yeah, unfortunately, he conquered my ass into next week and that's the only reason I'm even admitting it happened right now. If Rafe cares enough about what goes on with my vagina for you to have to feel some kind of way about telling him, then I really have his entire personality all wrong.

Serenity: SO YOU THINK!

Serenity: NO! Stop eyeballing me!

Serenity: I'm generally right at most things. Especially when it comes to flirting with 0 actual interest in the other person. Maybe being good at sex is a pirate prerequisite because jfc. DO NOT BE GROSS AND TALK ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND AND YOUR KRAKEN VAG IN THE SAME SENTENCE, ASSHOLE! I care that he knows so he doesn't find out in a public forum that his friend and my sister fucked while they were supposed to be watching out kid! I've never been more grateful for her being a sound sleeper in my life.

Serenity: Also, I've had to refer to Rafe as my boyfriend and/or me his girlfriend more times in these texts than I have since he and I started this and it puts a weird metallic taste it puts in my mouth every time. xP

Text Message || Serafe

Rafe: ....what? No they didn't. There's no way they've had sex. He would've told me when I made him babysit with her.

Rafe: ..........................OH. Did they......did they do it......while they were babysitting? 🤢🤢🤢 Did I indirectly orchestrate my friend fucking your sister?

Serenity: DINGDINGDING! AND HE GETS IT IN THE FIRST GUESS! LET'S GIVE THE MAN A PRIZE! What would you like? How about a permanent mental scar? We can share it! xP

Text Message || Serafe

Serenity: Please note that the following text can either be read as a simple yes or no question OR a fun fact/reminder depending on if you already know the answer. (:

Serenity: Did You Know... That my sister and Jay had sex?

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Melody: The laaaaaaast thing I need to hear is that our mother and father are as sexually deviant as we are, SERENITY.

Melody: idk ma'am, maybe Rafe's been putting ideas in her head. I'd better take you to get a manicure just in case. 👀

Melody: please, there's no way he's been flirting with me. He totally doesn't see me as more than a one-time conquest...right? For your sake, I hope he did tell Rafe, but if he didn't, good luck. I don't really care if he knows since it's all out in the open, now.

Serenity: OUR FATHER FUCKED A FISH, MELODY! THE DEVIANCE IS OBVIOUS! XD

Serenity: NO! We've already had this talk, don't make it worse! Stop eyeballing me! D:

Serenity: Not to ruin the overanalyzation(?) of every word he's said to you since you fucked probably going on in your head right now, but I'm pretty sure James Smee would flirt with--and/or has already flirted with--a squirrel, so my vote is yes he's flirting with you. Not that it means anything, but it's probably still a thing that's happening. Are you saying he conquered you? Lol. YEAH, ME TOO! BUT NOW I HAVE TO ASK MY BOYFRIEND IF HIS FRIEND INFORMED HIM THAT HE FUCKED MY SISTER AND IF HE HASN'T, I'M THE ONE TELLING HIM! I don't care if he knows, I just don't want to be the one to tell him, BUT AGAIN! I have to ask because if he doesn't know and I do it's weird and I have to ask to know if he knows! You make being a girlfriend the worst, you should've never let me do it. :P

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Melody: if mom ever heard the dirty details of our sex lives she'd wish she never learned what human sex WAS.

Melody: I couldn't have! She was being so sweet and officiating the wedding! Which btw, how does she know so much stuff about weddings. Do you have something to tell me? 👀

Melody: NO I'm not CURRENTLY humping him. It was a one-time thing and I made that super clear to Jay. He just can't help from teasing me about it in public. Ugh......and I'm not happy about how good it was, either. You can't have the personality of a mule and the sex skills of a Greek god! It's just not fair!

Serenity: Y'SEE! The thing is... You say that! But now I'm forced to think... "Would she though?" Like, at this point it's gotta be either generational or genetic and I'm not in a happy place right now thinking about it.

Serenity: You could have! She's heard no before, she takes it better than most future Queens I know too! AH! Why do you ruin playful banter always??? NO. I don't know! Maybe she's just retained all the wedding drama of the last year and a half, inono!

Serenity: WELL, I DON'T KNOW! Is his that his way of flirting??? I have so many questions, it's insane. You have the face of one and yet you still manage to get laid, cut him some slack. ;P

Serenity: GOD. Do you think he's told Rafe??? I don't know how normal friendships work (not that they're really normal)! Do first mates talk about their sexual conquests? Do you think Jay text him like "Hey boyo, thanks for keepin' the sex sirens a secret, y'arse!"??? MELODY! WHAT IF I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL HIM??? I'M A GIRLFRIEND NOW, IS THAT THE RULES?!

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Melody: He barely seems like a PERSON. Sue me for not being able to read him exactly! And my queendom will have nothing to do with my sex life, so I'll be fine.

Melody: Your daughter's the one who MADE US kiss, keep up! But no, I didn't ask about scurvy because I've selectively forgotten that I used to hold those prejudices, but now the fear is back thanks a lot.

Melody: SHE WAS ASLEEP, SHE DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. Also I like to think I was relatively quiet.

Serenity: You think he's barely a person AND YET. You keep telling yourself that, Mel. ...Do you ever stop and think about the fact that we're our parents lineage? The more our who're tendencies come to light, the more I want to apologize to them, lol. Not for our actions, but that if they ever came to light, they'd have to hear about them and would likely be traumatized.

Serenity: Do not blame your sexual deviance on my child, you could've told her no! If it makes you feel better, I feel he's more likely to have scabies than scurvy.

Serenity: SUBCONSCIOUSLY SHE COULD'VE! Bitch, you are never fucking quiet ever, I don't trust you to suddenly start now that you're humping the least attractive Smibling. God, /ARE/ you humping Brother Smib??? Like, are you humping or did you just hump, y'know? I have The Humpty Dance stuck in my head now and it's my own fault but I'm hoping I can project it through text and make you suffer too now.

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Melody: oh my God shut UP. I was not expecting him to out us like that, I thought it was a secret. But I really should've known better. 🙄

Melody: Tallulah made us play wedding and made us kiss and then she went to bed and I hadn't been kissed in so long, Serenity. I was weak.

Serenity: Does he really seem like the "I'll take our secret to the grave" type? Really?

Serenity: YOU'RE A FUTURE QUEEN, WOMAN! "I was weak." CLEARLY!

Serenity: You know I gotta ask this.

Serenity: Did you ask him if he had scurvy before or after you kissed him...while you were supposed to be watching my daughter?

Serenity: GOD! MY CHILD HAD TO HEAR YOU BUMP UGLIES! MELODY! The more I think about this the more traumatized /I/ get!

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: Y'know my favorite thing about being a mother? The one thing in the entire world that brings me the most joy and satisfaction in the realm of teaching and guiding my child to become the best person she can be?

Serenity: It's the fact that my time to be online and see James Smee talk about having sex with my sister is very limited! AND YET. APPARENTLY NOT LIMITED ENOUGH!

honesty hour!

ask my muse anything, nothing is off limits and they have to answer with complete honesty. 

Text Message || HOS

Rafe: Okay I agreed with her ONE time, we're not ever gonna be BEST FRIENDS.

Rafe: God, I love you.

Serenity: Mhmmmmm. We'll see what happens after I tell her, lol.

Serenity: I love you too. ;)

Text Message || HOS

Rafe: 😘😘😘 Thank you for the birthday wishes, btw! I'd say I feel old but I've got a kid and I'm practically married, so in actuality I feel rather young.

Serenity: You're welcome, but also, you're the worst, so you're not, lol. I can't wait for the day you and Mel become best friends because that's karma. Inono if it's more bad juju on me or on you, but I like to think you, so :P Lol.

Text Message || HOS

Rafe: So you'd say yes. 👀 Noted.

Serenity: I'm so glad I mentioned that I can't stand your ass already today. xP

Text Message || HOS

Lui: WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE JUST BECAUSE I WAS ON A DESERTED ISLAND WITH MY DAD SOMEWHERE THAT I DIDN'T GET A TEXT INCLUDING ME IN BETTING POOLS. You guys are the worst friends ever!

Serenity: DON'T BE A BABY ON MY TRAUMA, SIR! XD Also, there apparently wasn't any bets in the house, so you're good anyways! Lol.

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INSTAGRAM: @SERENITYHOPE HAS UPLOADED A NEW PHOTO!

One and a half things about @rafehook​: 1.) I can’t stand him. B.5.) It’s his birthday. Happy birthday​. <3

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Text Message || HOS

Rafe: whoa whoa whoa whoa, *brother-in-LAW. Which means I'm really not as cursed as you may think. Oh yeah?? Is that...a challenge? Because I will propose in the least sappy way possible just to spite you. I'll propose to you on the toilet. I'll propose while YOU'RE on the toilet.

Serenity: Semantics. Being her brother wasn't the only curse I was talking about, but points for making that connection and making me snort. XD It's not a challenge! It's just the truth! I'm torn between "Don't act like I would not say yes right there, asshole!" and "Points to you for picking the one place I literally would not be able to walk away from the situation", lmao.

Text Message || HOS

Rafe: Yeah, same to all of that. I couldn't have said it better myself. Though I will venture to add a point: that when people get m*rried, theoretically, there is no intention of having an "end". Til death do you part or whatever. Like divorce HAPPENS but no one really goes into a marriage expecting a divorce. So theoretically, you'd have nothing to worry about if we did do that. Just a thought. I am not proposing.

Serenity: I'm sure you could have, lol. Point made. Let's be honest though, I'd still have a few worries. You'd be more susceptible to those curses I mentioned and you'd be my sister's brother being the top two, lol. I knew you weren't proposing, babe. You're too much of a sap to do it over text message, lol. ;P

Text Message || HOS

Rafe: I'm just sayin', it's not a bad thing! As a person who didn't grow up with married parents, this domesticity is kinda nice. We don't have to be like all of the kids in this town, getting engaged after like six months of dating. I'm perfectly content never actually getting married if you don't want to think about that, if that makes you feel any better.

Rafe: But Melody is not ~wrong.

Serenity: This is starting to feel like one of those conversations we need to have in person, lol. But here it goes anyways, just so there is any confusion, I love and value what we have. I love and value YOU. I could not dream of doing...any of what we do...with anybody else. You are my favorite human being and unless you grow a sense between now and forever, I've already resolved that I'm going to spend my whole life with you. M*rried or not, lol. Domesticity doesn't scare me, especially not with you. Endings scare me. (And curses involving l*ve freak me out a bit too because I'm a princess and that shit happens A LOT.)

Serenity: I'm telling her you said that. xP