serah-in-diapers
Serah's Place
A place to record my thoughts and experiences on untraining and wearing diapers 24/7, as well as sharing my other interests (NSFW obviously).
Probably don't follow me if you don't want to see diaper stuff.
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You just got home from a long day at work. You lock up and close the door behind you, but there are noises coming from the bedroom across the hallway. Could it be that a burglar got in from the drafty window? You approach the closed door and continue to hear shuffling noises and a squeaking bed. . and light moaning?
BAM! You slam the door open… but wait, there’s no burglar here, just a cute cat girl having some naughty fun with her teddy <3 Maybe she just got anxious waiting for you ;)
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Can you feel when your mess is passing through your sphincter? Or is it only when the mess hits your diaper that you realized what happened? Do you have any sort of sensation left in your sphincter?
Oh, I can feel it fine. I just can't do anything about it.
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Hi, Serah's partners!
How did Serah tell you about this side of her life?
That's one of many things I fear having to do when with a partner. How do I tell them? What should I say? When is a good time to say it?
And I absolutely have to ask if Serah was nervous when she brought it up!? I feel like she would be tough as nails and would even second guess herself, but I can't be sure, lol.
Partner:
i
am genuinely struggling to remember what brought it up honestly?? hahah
at this point it just feels like it's always been that way. "hello my name is serah and i do diapers"
I'm sure it came up when we were discussing kinks. I had been ashamed of a kink of mine for as long as I'd had it, and we were chatting about that. She's very good at getting people to talk and after a point I think she just told us? I genuinely cannot remember though, but I am also a bit sickly at the moment so I might come back 'round tomorrow with a triumphant EUREKA!
I do remember that she was nervous, even after telling us-- including telling us that she'd understand if it was a deal breaker. It wasn't immediately, and definitely wasn't after she told us that no, it's not a scat thing, and no she doesn't need us to change her or whatever. If anything it's great that her lifestyle-kink can be so incognito. It'd be pretty obvious if I went around in a fursuit all day, right?
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For the partner: any curiosity about trying one?
Partner: Nah, not really. I menstruate and wear pads five days outta the month and that's as close as you'll get me. Though she did offer to let me try it out during menstruation, I think I'm alright on that front for the time being.
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For your partner: Does Serah's diaper dependency factor into your everyday decision making, or do you leave that aspect for her to handle? Mainly in regards to outings or planning activities.
Partner: I let her handle it! It's her lifestyle choice, but I know how important it is to her. I don't hesitate to compliment her if it looks good with her outfit, because I know that makes her feel nice and I'd do the same if she was wearing cute underwear too!
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Partner Q: Thoughts on the whole "untraining" process and the desire for incontinence? Interested in your reaction from an outsider's perspective.
Partner: At first I was a little apprehensive about it, mostly because I just wasn't aware of the like, details around how she approaches the kink. Is she into like, ageplay? Is there ever gonna be a time I have to like, change her or something? But once she explained it to me (and after I asked questions), it became clear it was more of a disability+lifestyle thing rather than just expressly a kink. While obviously a little different, I don't see it as too far off from someone that wears fursuits as often as they can. My ex was very into non-con and hardcore BDSM. By comparison, this is easy and totally whatever to me lmao
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I was wondering about how they feel about it? Like from what i read it kinda seemed the reaction was like good for you. But i would think there would be more of a reaction when someone says they chose this. Especially from some one who isnt a abdl.
I do get like life and let life so if thats it i do get it😅
Partner: Can confirm, she didn't downplay my reaction! It was surprise at first, but out of all the kinks she could've said she was into, diapers is one I'm desensitized to for the most part. I'm terminally online and immune to a lot of kinks. I only ever worried about if I had to do anything with it, or if the kink extended to like, scat play or ageplay, because I get kinda icked out by poop/pee and am definitely not into wearing diapers. But she assured me it was a lifestyle thing, and after reading over this blog and stuff out of curiosity, I'm pretty chill about it. IN FACT!! I regularly make jokes about it, like when I'm lying in bed and gotta pee, I'll text her "another point for the diaper kinksters" as I begrudgingly get up to use the restroom.
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Bonus post!
I've had some people interested more in the point of view of my partners, and what they think of all this, so, one of those partners has graciously decided that they are up for answering some asks from my followers, if anyone is curious for their perspective on things.
So hey, feel free to send in any asks that you would like them to answer! They are very brave to offer such a thing, haha, and I mourn their innocence already, though to give them credit they have read most of my blog out of curiosity so, perhaps they're not quite so innocent anymore!
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Full color commission of an original character trying her best to not have an accident. Doesn’t look like the poor thing succeeded.
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If you were somehow given the option, would you even want to regain complete bowel control at this point? It seems like it’s been a large part of your life for a few years now.
This ask really got stuck in my head for a couple of days, and I had to think about it for a fair bit before I felt up to answering, so great question!
I think I actually would not want to regain my old bowel control at this point, the control that I would have once bragged about for how amazing it was many years ago, but I'm going to do this scary thing called nuance. I say I wouldn't want it back not because messing is my favourite thing ever, but because you're right, it is kind of a part of who I am at this point.
It would feel very weird to suddenly have total control over messing myself again, and I'm not sure that I'd really be on board with that. Having little to no bowel control is often annoying, but it's also kind of a part of my self-image, I think. It was something that I actively avoided for a very long time, but I just kind of accept it now, and view myself as this person with a disability who can't really help when she messes herself.
And a very important part of that self-image is that I don't see it as wrong or bad when it happens, and that's probably why I wouldn't change it. It can be super inconvenient, sure, and annoying sometimes, definitely, but I don't view it as like, something I need to fix about myself.
It's just a fact of my life that I have incorporated, and I like to think that's a pretty healthy approach!
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The Beeg Life Update
Hey there! Originally, I had been going to respond to a few different asks relating to my current life and situation and diaper status and such, but then I was like, eh, I'll just make it an update, get all the stuffs in one post so people can just read that, and this is that post!
So firstly, as far as my life goes, I've actually moved out of teaching for the time being! I know, the shock, the horror, the audacity, haha, yes! I am taking a bit of a break from teaching and have actually accepted a proper office job! Which has been quite a change for me! That isn't to say that I'm quitting teaching forever or anything, it's just something I've done for a number of years and I felt like it was time for a bit of a change.
This has been an interesting time for me for sure, because I've never really had a proper office job before, like, don't get me wrong I've of course done paperwork and admin and meetings and such in teaching, but, this is the first time it's not just been like a side aspect of the job. It has definitely been a bit of an adjustment for me from being in a school, and almost always being on my feet and having to keep up with a more fast paced environment, haha, but I've been quite liking the change in dynamic so far!
Outside of my moving out of teaching for the time being, I've also moved! Places! That I live! It's really all been happening at once for me and that's certainly contributed to my time away, trying to get a handle on all the new stuff and all the ways that my life has changed (for the better). I'm in a nicer place now, and have definitely been enjoying all the perks that have come with it, and just kind of vibing and appreciating how well things have been going.
I'm also back to wearing diapers 24/7 again, which I've been really appreciating settling back into. Now that things have kind of calmed more with life, and with the new place, it's felt very right to just wear diapers every day. It keeps things simple in a way that I appreciate, and I've even got a whole set of drawers in my bedroom now purely dedicated to all my diapers (filled to the brim), which has been amazingly convenient and feels really nice and I wish I'd done it at my old place!
I've also been trying out the new Rearz Daydreamer diapers lately, with a Rearz overnight booster inserted of course because come on, it's me, and I haven't minded them! I'm not sure if I'll be ordering more when I get through the case of them, because I have some small issues with how drenched you feel after a day of wearing them, which I'm not super into (though I know some people will be), but they've been fun to experiment with all the same!
My main diaper setup these days is a Trest Elite with a Rearz overnight booster each workday, from first thing in the morning, until generally a bit after I get home from work, or potentially more into the evening depending on the day. By that time, I've usually soaked through both the booster and the diaper, so I'll actually get changed about then and put on a fresh diaper for the evening, which kinda varies based on my mood but is usually either some kind of diaper by Rearz, or just another Trest if I'm feeling a bit basic, haha.
And like, I can already feel, sense even, the amount of people going, oh my gosh how much do you wet your diapers, if you're getting through a boosted Trest each day and then some, and listen, I'm someone who not only drinks the recommended amount of water per day, but also drinks generally like, two cups of coffee a day as well, sometimes three. So, between all of the hydration, and the stimulant in the form of the coffee, I do indeed wet quite a lot throughout the day!
Probably far more than the average in this community, because listen, y'all ABDLs scare me with how little hydration you get, drink some water, guys, and gals, and enbies, stop thinking about it, just do it. The amount of diaper reviews I read that are like, zomg I couldn't get this to leak ever, and oh yeah I only wet the diaper twice in 12 hours... yeah no, that's scary, actually drink water folks, haha.
My concerns about your hydration aside, I've still been super casual about my mental approach to my incontinence. It could be called a big part of my life in some ways, given how I'm always in thick diapers for it again, but in other ways I hardly think about it, because it's just the reality for me, y'know?
I think, although I've certainly spoken a lot about my own acceptance of it in the past, I also have my partners to thank for it blending into my life so cohesively these days. The fact that they treat me wearing diapers as a totally normal me thing makes it feel that extra bit normal. Like, oh these people who aren't even in the community and don't remotely have this kink don't care about it at all, okay, I guess I shouldn't think that much about it either.
It's like the normalization I've spoken about in the past right, when the people around you are used to it and treat it as just a fact of who you are, you kind of forget that it could ever be a big deal in the first place. So yes, I've been quite taken by that feeling, and absolutely appreciate them for having such a relaxed approach to things! I know some people in the community don't get quite so lucky so I'm really quite grateful for it.
Anyway, right now, I'd say I'm in a good place overall mentally with my incontinence. I'm back to just always using my diapers for whatever whenever at this point, whatever my body decides basically, and being in diapers 24/7 again it's usually an easy choice for it! Being conservative about things isn't really needed where I'm at right now in my life, and I've even built up a bit of a stockpile of a couple of months worth of extra diapers at this stage to be a bit more on top of things should any situations arise.
As far as my continence goals go, as ever I'm always in favour of no control whatsoever when it comes to my bladder, and my lack of bowel control I've just kind of accepted as an inevitable byproduct of that. As I've said before, I wouldn't really say that I am actively encouraging a loss of bowel control these days, of whatever is left of it anyway, I'm just accepting of whatever happens, and what has been happening the past month or so is my body just decides to fill my diapers, haha, and that's okay!
I've always had a bit of an up and down relationship with my bowel incontinence, but I like to think it's evened out a bit now and is just kind of in a realistic middle ground. It's not my favourite thing, and it's not my least favourite thing, it just kind of is, and I feel like that's a totally fine place for it to be in right now in this phase of my life. I accept that I mess myself without being able to help it, and I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
Anyways, before I get into even more rambling again, I think that's about it for this post! I have received quite a flood of asks lately, so I'll probably get to responding to some of those after this, but I like to think I answered at least a few of them with this post!
As always, I hope everyone has been doing amazingly these past few months, and thanks as ever for always being a patient and wholesome community. I know I am forever appreciating the enthusiasm and dedication everyone brings to this very niche subject <3
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Me and Lily are the dynamic duo! In this instance we’re shopping for the cutest plushies. I have my eyes on a certain ducky while Lily is very much liking that little bat. I know the retro aesthetic has been popular among artists lately, so here’s my take on that as well ;D
Shout out to LilyB ❤️ You can find her artwork over at Noxalys on Twitter!
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Hi Serah, Thanks for sharing your journey! A couple of quick questions. When you were attempting to retrain, did you recover any night-time control? And once you mastered bed-wetting, did you pretty much lose the daytime control as many other untrain folks did? Thanks! P_P
Great questions!
When I attempted retraining, I did initially do some research on the methods out there that people try to use to stop bedwetting, but when I realised how utterly terrible they still all are, I just didn't even bother, haha. It's hard for me to believe that the best we have is basically still, drink less fluids before bed, and get an alarm to wake you up when you're wetting in your sleep. Like, no thanks, lol, I decided that I wasn't that level of committed to actually go as far as disrupting my sleep like that, so my bedwetting remained the same throughout.
As far as losing my daytime control after originally becoming a consistent bedwetter years ago, I definitely lost some control during the day because of it, but not all of it. At the time of becoming a bedwetter, which was several years ago, I wasn't diapered or protected during the day, and hadn't yet committed to untraining in the daytime, so I was actively still trying to keep my continence while awake back then and only lose it at night.
As I said though, I did lose some control during the day regardless of my initial intentions. I developed what is called stress incontinence after becoming a bedwetter, where I would, and still do, leak when doing activities, or when moving to stand or sit, or cough or laugh, etc. I became a bedwetter in the first place as a first step in my journey into incontinence, basically as a trial to see if I should more fully commit to becoming incontinent full-time, because you know, in the ABDL community, you have dozens upon dozens of well-meaning bystanders telling you that no you'll actually hate incontinece totally for sure!
I found the complete opposite to be true personally, and ended up loving it so much that once my bedwetting became a permanent reality of my life, I then decided to go ahead with worsening my continence during the day and wearing diapers fulltime, and that's when I started this blog to talk about that journey!
I think most untrainers go for all of the incontinence at once so I can see how bedwetting would be the last thing for them before totally losing all their control, but for me, bedwetting was the first step, and the thing to get me properly hooked into pursuing this lifestyle.
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nikki1
Messy version will be in patron and dA subber sections!
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I saw you (at least used to) take pills to change the smell of your messes, did you make any other changes to make messing more pleasant (ie, making them more firm and less messy, anything to make them not noisy, etc.)? Did any changes come naturally that made messing more pleasant?
I did used to yes! Chlorophyll tablets were the most effective for me personally, but charcoal tablets also give good results for quite a number of people (though I hear they can also impact medication absorption which is important to keep in mind), so, good to experiment with both and see what works for you!
I also used to take fiber supplements, which I personally found helped a lot with the consistency problem, and having like, the same kind of messes each time which made clean up less of a big deal because you kind of always knew exactly what to expect.
You also mess more often but in smaller amounts when you just allow your bowels to do whatever they want and self-manage, which is both good and bad really. Good in the sense that you usually have less to clean up each time you do mess, but of course bad in the sense that messy diapers are more common and have to be planned around more than you need to plan when you hold it until specific times.
E.g. I would with basically no exception, mess myself immediately after eating breakfast, and that's the kind of rhythm you can expect, messing related to when you eat. This was usually totally fine for me right because I'd just plan to eat breakfast before changing out of my overnight diaper, but then life was life sometimes and I'd end up messing myself while out because I went to breakfast with friends, or skipped it that day because I was late for something and then messed myself at lunch.
The other natural change that made me end up liking messing more when I totally used to hate it was just how gentle it becomes to mess yourself. It's always hard to describe but I would really call it a pleasant feeling when your body is just totally in control, there's really no harshness or discomfort to it at all in my opinion, which is quite a different experience to what most normal people feel.
These days, I don't do anything at all to cater for, or encourage, my bowels or messing, not intentionally anyway, and my messing is now kind of in a grey area where it generally happens anywhere from first thing in the morning to just after lunch. Depending on how close to a bathroom I am at the time that my body decides it is going to suddenly start pushing, I might make it, or I might not.
Something that I've found amusing on a few occasions as of late is that my partners are always surprised at just how fast things can turn. They have pretty regular continence overall so they don't really appreciate that it's not like, oh I feel I might need to go in x amount of time, let me consider taking a relaxed walk to the bathroom, it's instead, oh my body is suddenly pushing right now, and I really don't have the capacity to actually stop it from happening, haha.
Messing definitely catches me off guard more these days than it used to when I was actively trying to make it worse and it was perfectly predictable, so I suppose it's something of a tradeoff you have to consider when approaching bowel stuff. Do you want to not plan or cater for it at all and be caught off guard more, or plan and cater for it a lot and have it be really predictable?
A personal choice to weigh up for sure.
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Yor overheard her coworkers talk about kinky foreplay that drove their boyfriends wild! Longing for a more intimate relationship with Loid. Naturally, Yor followed through to see if this would make her more desirable and irresistible.
Would this lead to Loid going wild for Yor.. or something else entirely? 🤔
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