“MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR” I scream at 12 am with tears streaming down my face and a bottle of champagne in my hand. it has not been my year yet. it’s not even a weekend today is Thursday
896K notes
·
View notes
Date a girl who was born, fully grown, from burning occult materials in a dumpster fire
4K notes
·
View notes
I’m typically against shipping YouTubers, but...
I ship Onision with the sex offender registry.
3K notes
·
View notes
When you miss your husband but still want to party…
2K notes
·
View notes
People who are younger than you but taller
2M notes
·
View notes
he put the fucking strawberry in his pocket
40K notes
·
View notes
You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
369K notes
·
View notes
someone: *is typing suspiciously longer than usual*
me: oh god it's happening
brain: just wait, mayb-
me: i fucking knew it they hate me evERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW
113 notes
·
View notes
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH
6 notes
·
View notes
“If I can’t stab it I don’t believe in it.”
- Bleda (our goblin hating rogue)
762 notes
·
View notes
the shittiest feeling in the world is realizing that nobody in your life legitimately needs you
13K notes
·
View notes
hate myself to the power of 1000
267 notes
·
View notes
I found him. the biggest boy
367K notes
·
View notes
Me: I want to write a thing
Friends: So write it
Me:
155K notes
·
View notes
Don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh
477K notes
·
View notes