[to the tune of be our guest] eat a dick, eat a dick, god you’re such a fucking prick, i’m taking paid time off because your presence makes me sick

In response to Slate's article on the possibility having non-heteromative team in figure skating (particularly, ice dance and pairs), Oniceperspective shared a glimpse of Gabriella Papadakis (FRA) and Madison Hubbell (USA) working on their same-sex program. You can see how they switch the leading figure between them.

You can see them trying out lifts in this video.

The rest is on Instagram here:

i hope you write (i hope we both write)

"assless chaps" 🙄back in my day we just called them the english

absolutely no one in horror podcasting is doing it like the silt verses. this is the best thing the genre's maybe ever produced. it deserves to be bigger than magnus was. it deserves to be bigger than peak night vale

i think the silt verses' concept of saints is one of my favorite examples of religious horror because it takes what saints are, at their core - someone who died, often in agonizing pain and terror - and forces you to see it from their perspective. because sainthood is awarded posthumously - the people elevated to sainthood rarely get a say in it; it's a consolation prize with no one to collect it, an apology that cannot be accepted because the person you're apologizing to will never hear it. and the silt verses shows you that. lets you see the final, helpless moments as someone is hallowed into something they don't recognize and won't be around anymore to see the impact of. shows you the sheer indignity and suffering required to make a saint out of someone. shows you how pointlessly cruel it is to reassure them that their suffering is meaningful and will be worthwhile - for someone else. to achieve ends they might not even have agreed with. championing a cause they might not even have necessarily believed in.

Coping with the enormous mental strain of waiting for TSV s3 by imagining Carpenter in a hat that says "I say 'morning' instead of 'good morning' because if it were a good morning, I'd be fishing"

What she says: im fine

What she means: the average age of conception over the past 250k years is apparently 26.9. Let's round it down to 25. Think of your birth mother. Hold her hand. Imagine her holding hands with her mother. Within 4 people, you're back in time 100 years, and it's an intimate family dinner. Just after WWI. Add another 16 people, a small party of 20, and you're in the 1500s. Double it, twice, and you're at 80 people. Your family would fill a restaurant, and you're at the height of the Roman empire. At 100 people, Confucius is alive but Socrates has not yet been born. 100 people. That's a medium sized wedding. A small lecture theatre or concert. 200 people, probably the biggest party i could ever hope to host, takes you back 5000 years. The guests at your soirée of parents would be contemporaries of the Egyptian and Indus Valley civilisations, although you'd probably be too busy fixing drinks and nibbles to talk to all of them. Just imagine it. 200 of you. That's all it takes to get back 5,000 years. And we could go further. 1000 people, a decent sized concert, a large high school, and we're at the end of the last ice age. Your ancestors are comparing their pink floyd vinyl with music played on instruments carved from wood or bones of long vanished species. Wander through the crowd. See your own features and phrases and gestures refract out like a kaleidoscope. What would they make of you? What do you make of them? Why does it feel so unfair that even that first 100 years --that small family dinner of four--is out of your grasp? Maybe it's because questions of spatial distance have become negligible to us now. why, oh why, does time hold out against us so stubbornly

the dubious philosophy of salmon

Lol I literally passed out in court while I was on jury duty because of this shit

Am I hitting a PEM wall, or is my ADHD brain just bored and trying to make me fall asleep (aka sleep intrusion) because it would literally rather be unconscious than bored...

These are the questions I ask myself as I tightrope walk between disorders.

the way people treat girl characters in fandom joker-ifies me

fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them

I make perfumes that smell like blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile. They're not very good yet, but I'm trying to improve my scents of humor.

One time in college I told a guy "I am interested in sex" and he responded by recommending me some books on the sociology of sex

okay that’s funny

*looks at sherlock* it’s very smoll

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire