Tumgik
Text
You ever think about how unified humanity is by just everyday experiences? Tudor peasants had hangnails, nobles in the Qin dynasty had favorite foods, workers in the 1700s liked seeing flowers growing in pavement cracks, a cook in medieval Iran teared up cutting onions, a mom in 1300 told her son not to get grass stains on his clothes, some girl in the past loved staying up late to see the sun rise.
137K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
7K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 10 days
Text
I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower
11K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 10 days
Text
Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [1]
30K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 10 days
Text
Controversial take if I've ever heard one
9K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 11 days
Text
not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀
344K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 11 days
Text
Tumblr media
the best part about being an artist is making the shit you want for yourself so pls enjoy my poster sketch based on this weeks episode bc i literally cannot stop thinking about it
this is gonna take forever to render but it will be so worth it
8K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 14 days
Text
Y'all think the fantasy high universe has fantasy tumblr lol
(inspired by @orions-garden who had this idea first !)
Tumblr media
🐀 stealthcheck reblogged steelwindstrike
⚡ steelwindstrike Follow
you guys remember that trend from last spring where everyone was posting these random videos and pictures of and saying there was a tabaxi woman in there LMAO What the fuck was that 😂 it was like a worse version of The Gown thing from years ago
⚡ steelwindstrike
#LMAOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT #wasnt that a marketing scheme for that one teen band #im pretty sure it was
LMAO WAS IT? i wouldnt be surprised LOL
🐴 princessthehorse Follow
THERE WAS LITERALLY A TABAXI IN ALL OF THOSE VIDEOS. THEY WERE LIKE REALLY SCARY VIDEOS. WHAT WAS EVERYONE ON ABOUT. WHAT FERNS WERE Y'ALL FUCKING ON
🔮 conjurdivination Follow
OP, I understand your confusion but that was very much a real event! Turns out that tabaxi was the Shadow Cat, the familiar of the Nightmare King who was actually an ancient goddess of Sylvaire who was transubstantiated into a disease. She could only be seen by people who had her disease, which was transmitted through various bodily fluids. The Court of Stars has also been putting out statements lately saying that they and other members of the Fallinel government worked with the Shadow Cat, but had nothing to do with her plot of trying to bring back the Nightmare King, since she apparently worked with them as well.
⚡ steelwindstrike
Tumblr media
⚡ steelwindstrike
Was it still those fucking kids who did all that though
🐀 stealthcheck
it was those fucking kids
73,127 notes
Tumblr media
🦇 nightmarekwing reblogged powerofsol
🦇 nightmarekwing
was just waiting for a meeting with my banker and i watch two teenagers show up and one puts a gun to his head and the other grabs his balls. I'm so done with adventurers bro, how the fuck do people allow this shit
🦇 nightmarekwing
One of the teenagers is the archdevil of the bottomless pit. i swear to god i'm gonna die and even Hell is gonna be a piece of shit because of adventurers
☀️ powerofsol Follow
Did you not do anything to try and help your banker?????
🦇 nightmarekwing
no why would i help a banker
11,928 notes
Tumblr media
🧚‍♀️ tiredaasimar
I have insider information on the Central Solesian Area Polycule
5,872 notes
Tumblr media
🔍 detectiveagent5353 reblogged alwayshappyhour
❤️ 123fantasydestiel Follow
I cannot BELIEVE that there are FELLOW STUDENTS here at Aguefort who are SERIOUSLY considering voting for Kristen Applebees for class president. Are you out of your mind? Kipperlilly Copperkettle is actually trying to campaign to make the school better for all of us when we've all seen firsthand how messed up everything is. She's actually trying to make it fair for us students, and what does Kristen want to do? Nothing! She has literally ZERO campaign promises that mean ANYTHING for the school and the only things she talks about are steelworkers of all things and a thing NOBODY knows. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT FETTY WAP IS! I looked it up and looked through every book in the library! THOSE WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SAID BEFORE! NEVER!
All I'm saying is if this school starts to go downhill because you all thought it was funnier to vote for the cleric who killed her god TWICE than the regular student who's ACTUALLY trying to make the school better, you all better realize that it's your fault.
🌃 alwayshappyhour
sounds like someone's salty they can't do a shrimp jump
🔍 detectiveagent5353
256.927.723.142
1,283 notes
Tumblr media
🐗 recklessattakk
my hungry ass could never be a cleric
3,992 notes
Tumblr media
boggyandmoggy reblogged thistleficer
🐦 infernobirds Follow
reblog to cast healing word on the person you rbed this from
23,828 notes
Tumblr media
burntownsgetvans reblogged falloutboimaniac
🐉 burntownsgetvans
does anyone know what's going on with fig and the cig figs? i've been waiting for their new album for a while but their social media account has been radio silent, like fig and gorgug are still posting on their personal accounts but nothing about the band :(. they said a new album would be coming out soon last april, i'm just kind of sad and confused i guess
🌹falloutboimaniac Follow
that's really rough man yeah. i don't know what's going on with them either, but i hope they'll end up releasing something soon for you. but if you wanna listen to something that's like fig and the cig figs, maybe you'd like my clerical gnomance? they've been a total breakout hit all over the radio where i'm from lately and they are sooo good lol
🐉 burntownsgetvans
well, okay, i'll give it a shot i guess, thanks for the recommendation :)
🐉 burntownsgetvans
@fallouboimaniac Listen up chucklefuck go FUCK yourself. I'm so fucking TIRED of people like you who are always trying to replace the cig figs and discredit their success and for WHAT reason? I'm so done, I'm so fucking done, I don't wanna FUCKING HEAR IT AND YOU'VE PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LISTEN TO YOUR OWN SHITTY MUSIC? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING Ddid anyone see that red thing just now
823 notes
Tumblr media
🌸 greatgnomishbaker
she kalvaxus on my emperor until i red waste
2,801 notes
Tumblr media
lycanstropy reblogged 123fantasydestiel
🧑 123fantasydestiel Follow
Getting really annoyed by all the posts going around joking about Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King. Both of them were EXTREMELY serious and REAL entities that caused SO much destruction in the very real world, and unless you were harmed by them you should NOT be joking about them like that, that is SO gross. My great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great cousin four times removed was KILLED by Kalvaxus and it is so shitty to have to open the dashboard every day to see posts like this.
🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow
sure but kalvaxus has literally been dead for like 2 years or something 😭. like the fact that those kids killed kalvaxus very much did make national and probably international news did you somehow miss that. and the guy was a total clown be fr it'd be crazy not to joke about him
🧑 123fantasydestiel
Did you not read my entire post? I don't care if you think Kalvaxus was a "clown" or not or that he's already dead, HE KILLED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!!!!! You cannot be making posts JOKING About him like that!!!!!!!!!!
🐈 lycanstropy
I went on a field trip to Hell in my warlock class the other day and a bunch of pirates turned Kalvaxus into a ship and tattooed his ass
9,378 notes
Tumblr media
🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness
I fucking hate public school dude a plane almost crashed into my house at midnight and turns out it's because of a fucking club at the school and then i GO to school and i can barely even get into my bard class because everyone's lining up around that fucking pirate's kid and the principal is a fucking kid because this school is such a wreck. And can anyone please tell me why the same kid is now in every single club i am also in???? every time i make eye contact with him in one of my clubs he runs away. didn't he and the pirate kid and their party kill like 6 staff members?????????? AND WHY IS THERE A COP IN THE HALLWAYS??????????????????????
54 notes
Tumblr media
🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness reblogged rayofdownwiththesickness
🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow
Imagine complaining about students killing people when you literally go to an adventuring school 😂
🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness
i'd rather you say it to my face than vague me on the dashboard you know
🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness
I have been hexblade cursed
774 notes
Tumblr media
👨‍💻 12345fantasydestiel
Has Aguefort collectively forgotten about the fact that a giant spider appeared on campus a few months ago and started terrorizing people? I'm starting to understand why so many people think so negatively of Aguefort now. I was literally there and watched it happen and then no one seemed to bring it up ever again. No teachers decided to address it or anything. We're lucky it didn't kill anyone, and, actually, now I'm remembering, wasn't Kristen Applebees there? I swear to Galicaea she was there. Is that why nothing came of it, cause her party has like 4 parents on the school staff? This place is a joke.
11 notes
Tumblr media
infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour
🌃 alwayshappyhour
she nightmare on my king until i cassandra
1,287 notes
Tumblr media
infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour
🌃 alwayshappyhour
she nightmare on my king until i cassandra
1,287 notes
Tumblr media
infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour
🌃 alwayshappyhour
she nightmare on my king until i cassandra
1,287 notes
Tumblr media
infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour
🌃 alwayshappyhour
she nightmare on my king until i cassandra
1,287 notes
6K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 15 days
Text
one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
59K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 15 days
Text
jake hurwitz is proof of a horseshoe theory of people-weirdness. that man is so exceedingly Normal Guy that it wraps back around to being weird
260 notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 15 days
Text
i support women's neutrals. i support when women just stand there and do nothing
16K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 18 days
Text
there's no greater betrayal than finally starting to read a book you've had sitting for months on your shelf or your desk or your nightstand and then finding out it's bad. like. i gave you a fucking home.
35K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 22 days
Text
THE TYRANNY OF THE SUN IS OVER
50K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 24 days
Text
of course kristen picked the god with a messy breakup
951 notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 25 days
Text
Fabian slowly accruing more siblings through each season despite his radiant only child energy
3K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 25 days
Text
brennan fully backtracking on "he's not cursed he's just a guy" he was SO cursed
2K notes · View notes
screaminghomosexual · 1 month
Text
that whole fantasy trope of werewolves and vampires hating each other pisses me off every time. it's like lgbt exclusionism you feel me. like I bet the real ones think it's dumb. they're out there going guys we're all children of the night. in their eyes we're ALL unholy abominations. bet there's posts on darkcreatures.net like vampires and werewolves are actually kissing on the lips rn
18K notes · View notes