time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

umm how to be a dog by andrew kane. btw.

A cowboy is captured by a native war party. 

As he is bound in the middle of the camp, the chief comes up to him and says “in this land, we grant prisoners of war three days before they are executed. Each day, the prisoner can make one request and we will decide if we honor the request or not. What is your first request?” The cowboy thinks for a minute and asks to speak to his horse. The chief grants his request the cowboy whispers something into his horse’s ear. The horse gallops off and returns a couple hours later with a beautiful blonde on its back. The chief shakes his head muttering, ‘white man.’ He shows them to a teepee and leaves. The next day the chief comes to the cowboy and asks “what is your second request?”

“I’d like to speak with my horse please.”

And so, the horse is shown to the cowboy, who whispers into its ear. The horse leaves, only to return with a curvaceous brunette. Again, the chief let’s them use a teepee. “White man, can only think of one thing” he says. The third day arrives. The chief asks “What is your final request?” The cowboy, visibly frustrated, demands to see his horse again. He grabs the horse’s ear and whispers harshly into it “Now listen here you stupid animal!! Posse!! Posse!!”

Gonna scream oh my Gd

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

the house will never be truly clean. and yet we must never stop cleaning the house

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

John Green wakes up every day and says I will embarrass myself online

the amulet stays on during sex. i don't care if it's cursed and giving you the heeby jeebies it's drippy as hell

Twitter has one thing still going for it and it's Chiitan, are y'all aware of Chiitan

new reaction image

If you are trans click read more

hiiiiiiii!!!!! :333 haiiii >.<