scarredremembrance
➤ know you're not alone.
" Everything will be fine now... Because I'm not alone. If I call out... They will answer. "
AU!Squall Leonhart roleplay blog, affiliated with Fates Rewritten.
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It was clear the boy was narrowly keeping a leash on his tongue. The corner of his lip twitched at her words, and he turned his gaze to the window to avoid her eyes. He didn't like the way she was talking to him. Squall's life was his own, and the conditions he lived in were none of her business. "I never said I was suffering," Squall replied, voice a little sharper than he intended, "Why don't--" Cutting himself off, the brunet clenched his jaw. (Shut up. She's offering you a job you're not going to find elsewhere.) It was an incredibly lucky opportunity, after all. If he'd walked just a little bit further, or gotten here just a few minutes later, Squall had no doubt he'd be neck-deep in trouble. Money meant everything... it meant keeping his home, staying in Kairos, living his own life... and most importantly, remaining far, far away from his parents. This woman might as well have been offering him his freedom on a silver platter. Offering her a vaguely apologetic glance, Squall shook his head and said, "Never mind."
He stood still as a statue. It had been that way his entire life. While others his age might've been prone to fidgeting and shifting around, Squall said nothing; did nothing. And when he finally did open his mouth to speak carefully planned courtesies, his voice was as stone cold as his look. Everything screamed 'strictly professional'... there was nothing personal in his mannerisms whatsoever. That was the proper way to act before an employer, right? "Thank you." He said quietly, "I'll do my best."
Swallowing his pride was difficult, to say the least. But somehow he managed, gearing his thoughts towards the more important things while pushing his personal qualms of having to be helped by another aside. What sorts of things would he be doing? It wasn't as if he'd ever worked in a cafe. What was his pay going to be like? And his hours... "When am I going to start working?" He asked aloud. Squall dared not mention his other responsibilities, like school or the other two jobs he still kept. If a conflict arose with the latter, of course he'd have to bring it up. But as for the former... well...
He wasn't about to sacrifice his income for that.
There were so many questions he both wanted and needed to ask, but ultimately he narrowed them down to the two that were most important. He didn't want to irritate her or appear desperate. Giving a tug on his jacket, Squall added, "And... how would you like to be addressed...?" Because simply asking 'what's your name' didn't suit a man like himself.
♚ -- { troisième espoir | squall&reika }
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"So actually, you owe me... at least ten thousand dollars."
The phrase actually brought a pang of nausea to the boy's malnourished chest. Debt was hardly a reality for the vast majority of Kairos' teenaged population, but for Squall Leonhart, it was a horrible, painful reality. From the moment he'd stepped forth from his parents' house in Paralia and took the train to the city, never again to return to their wretched abode, Squall's life had been a neverending string of "you owe me this", or "I'm putting it on your bill".There was no visible trace of this train of thought, but for a split second, a fraction of a moment, Squall looked Reika dead in those blue eyes and believed she was entirely serious.
Then common sense filled in the gaps. Last time he checked, this city wasn't filled to the brim with millionaires. And those were the only kinds of people who could, who would be insane enough to buy a meager meal for ten thousand dollars. Besides, the bread and cappucino were delicious, but hardly worth such an extravagant price. Quickly realizing she was pulling his leg, eyes narrowed and filled with a subtle sort of suspicion. What sort of game was she playing at...? Of course, the idea of her employing him in a roundabout sort of way didn't immediately cross his mind. This city relished in his suffering. It missed no opportunity to kick him to the dust and spit in his face. So how could it be that he was finding himself hired by a woman the same day he'd been fired from another job and thrust into a pit of despair? It just didn't make sense.
The youth crossed his arms over his chest and cast his gaze to wooden floorboards. "Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear," Squall announced after a lengthy pause to mull over what had just been offered... no, thrust upon him, "But this is too good to be true." He exhaled. Everything about him could be described as heavy. Squall stood like heavy weights were constantly stacked upon his broad shoulders. His face was permanently heavy with fatigue and weariness. Even his breathing was heavy, as if he inhaled each breath and kept them in his lungs as long as he possibly could, in fear of that air being the last he'd ever taste upon his tongue. The brunet lifted his eyes, casting hollowed eyes upon the young cafe manager.
"...you're just going to give me work and pay me without even knowing my abilities? What if I'm not physically capable? You don't even know who I am." Squall pressed his lips together, restraining himself for barely a heartbeat. "Sorry... but I just don't understand why you're being so kind."
♚ -- { l'espoir troisième | squall&reika }
#etchedpain#HERE IT IS HERE IT IS HERE IT IS#I DID IT#I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF#AND IT ONLY TOOK ME WHAT LIKE A MONTH#YEYEYEYYEYEEYEYYEEYEHAHAYEYEYEYEHAHEYEYEHAHEYEEHAYEHEAY#SHINY PONYTA.MP3
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He wanted to eat. Oh, how he would have just loved to devour the fine smelling food that sat on the table in front of him. In fact, Squall would have been more than capable of consuming several loaves that sat on display behind the counter. There was never a waking moment when he was truly full; Squall ate just enough to keep himself going, and even then it was hardly the most appetizing meals. But he couldn't just sit here and eat what he'd just received on what he considered to be a silver platter. Maybe this would make his night easier. However, in the long run, relying on the goodness of strangers would get him nowhere. The youth was half-tempted to get up and leave. To rid this woman of his presence and never darken her doorstep again. Tempted being the key word; something kept Squall rooted to his seat. Whether it was the fine mingling aromas of fresh bread and coffee, or the warmth that felt so welcoming against his cold skin had yet to be seen.
Throughout Reika's speech, Squall did little more than offer her a blank stare. Freebies and kindness didn't help anyone get far in this city... that much Squall knew first-hand. To him, it was a true miracle a woman with such a soft heart had made it in Kairos. If he-- the indifferent, hard-working individual lived such a struggle to stay afloat financially, how the hell did she have her own business and living quarters in what appeared to be such a comfortable building? It was utterly mind-boggling, and had Squall not learned to keep a tight leash on his thoughts, he easily could've made that known to her as he sat across the table.
"Thanks..." He muttered, "But I don't need anyone's help." Turning his gaze back to that appetizing meal, Squall heaved a quiet sigh before reaching into the pocket of his fur-collared jacket. Withdrawing a thin wallet, he fumbled for all the change he had left within its threadbare confines. And once he had a satisfactory amount in hand, he leaned forward and placed a fistful of coins in front of Reika. "If you won't take that, I'm gonna work for the food. I'm not having it for nothing." Glancing around the cafe, he took note of all the things that needed to be tidied up and cleaned. Then, with great reluctance, Squall took the bread in hand and took a bite.
It was bliss. Better than bliss. Squall couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten a warm meal, and the only way he could describe the taste in his mouth was 'heaven'. He meant to take a single bite, but once he started there was no turning back. The slice was soon inhaled, followed suit by the cappuccino. There wasn't a moment to waste once the meal was done: Squall rose to his feet, gave Reika the most dignified look he could possibly mustered, then asked in a level tone, "What needs to be done...?"
♚ -- { l'espoir troisième | squall&reika }
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"You’ll be mine forever." - ALOIS
His mind was too tired, too weary. Squall could not think any longer— he couldn’t think of how he’d come to be in this position, couldn’t think of how he could get away. As he lie against a cold floor, hands bound tightly behind his back, he could only focus on one thing; a person. And that person was Alois Trancy, who sat atop his aching stomach and held a knife to his chin, digging the point in just enough to make him bleed.
Wounds laced his body; the tendons of his heels slashed to keep him from getting away, cuts and punctures on his legs, chest, arms for what only seemed to be Alois’ sick pleasure. Numbly he wondered how he ever could’ve trusted this boy, as he felt Alois wipe his own blood on the tattered fragments of his own shirt. The blond leaned in close, breathing lightly against his neck as if taking in his metallic scent. The time for struggle was long past; his wrists were still raw and chafed from when he’d tried to wrestle free.
The other lie atop him for a moment. Through the aching, he felt the second heartbeat against his skin. (Let it end.) Squall thought. (Just let me die already.) It felt as if Alois read his very mind. The boy sat up, brushing his fingers through Squall’s hair and caressing his cheek before offering him a coy smile.
"You’ll be mine forever." He said in a whisper, though they were the only two in the room… though the only other person in their worlds was each other. The blade rose, and like the blade of a guillotine, fell down in execution through his very heart.
The pain considered intolerable was nothing until now; the haze shattered, leaving his eyes wide and jaw agape in silent agony. Squall writhed weakly. The blade rose and fell again. And again. Never ending, pulling up the last offerings of blood from the well of his body. Staring up into Alois’ blue eyes, it was several eternities before he finally felt death’s relieving embrace.
Perhaps once he would’ve thought it as a victory; there was nothing more Alois could do once he was dead. But now it wasn’t even that. His mind had gone, but his body was still there beneath the other. Alois had gotten what he wanted… he’d won.
Squall had truly become his, forever.
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"Keep running, I like the chase!”
The slap of his heels against the pavement shattered the silence of the night. The taste of blood in his mouth was so overpowering that it made him gag. Lungs felt as if they were about to burst, body running on a fuel of adrenaline and deep down— fear. He never would’ve thought that tonight, as he left the warehouses he worked at, he would be attacked by a man who Squall only recognized by the distinct veil of blond hair that covered most of his face. Had his hairstyle been less distinctive, he never would’ve put the pieces together as he ran, realizing that every day for the last month or so he’d caught glimpses of this individual around or on his way to work. Why had he been spying on Squall? Why was he doing this? To be honest, the youth hadn’t the faintest idea. And given the situation, he wasn’t about to stop and ask for clarification any time soon. He could faintly hear the other’s approach, his pursuit careful and quiet as opposed to Squall’s desperate sprint.
(Don’t look back.) The thought pierced the panicked fog that had chosen to blanket his mind now, of all times. Blood continued to trickle from a cut that spanned from his lip to just beneath his eye, wetting half of his face, taste tainting every inch of his mouth. How incredibly lucky he’d been to escape with just that wound— not even Squall himself knew where his keen fighting abilities had come from when he first felt the sting of a serrated blade against his flesh. The only fights he’d been in until now were child’s play; verbal combat with his parents or the occasional school fistfight. Yet he fought like a true warrior in that moment, unleashing nothing short of true hell before he bolted down the abandoned street.
He knew next to nothing about his pursuer. Squall knew what he looked like, what he was capable of, and above all else— that this man wanted him dead. Or worse. Distantly he heard the other’s voice, echoing through the desolate, darkened roads:
"Keep running, I like the chase!”
A battle-steeled mercenary never ran. A lion never ran. But a young schoolboy who had never picked up a weapon in this lifetime was not a lion. He was a youth ridden with cold-blooded fear, picturing the inevitable end of his pursuer’s blade in his chest that would greet him if he ever stopped running.
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Yandere Sentence Memes
"Now hold still…"
"Stop screaming or I’ll use duct tape."
"They had it coming, they were too friendly with you…"
"No one will find us here."
"You’ll be mine forever."
"I’m going to kill him/her."
"I don’t like people touching my things…”
"Don’t bother to struggle…"
"Did you think I wouldn’t notice?"
"Your friends are too close with you… I don’t like it..”
"It’s for your own good."
"I won’t take no for an answer."
"Keep running, I like the chase!”
"It’d be a shame if your friend was hurt…"
"If you promise not to scream, I’ll remove the gag."
"Oops, did that hurt?"
"You can’t just keep me here!"
"I’m calling the police!"
"Stop threatening anyone I talk to!"
"You’re hurting me!"
"W-what are you doing?"
"Stay away from me!"
"You’re being so clingy, it’s weird."
"Let go of me!"
"Someone is bound to come soon, they’ll notice!"
"What are you planning to do with that?"
"Did you think I wouldn’t notice you watching me sleep?"
"You killed him/her!"
"Don’t hurt me!"
"Put that down!"
"You’re scaring me…"
"That’s a really bad joke, quit it…"
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lily!
What’s something from their past that you would not want your character to remember? A bad memory? Dangerous item? Explain why!There are too many bad memories for Squall to remember. It would be safer to say that he’s better off living in the dark, though not by much. Remembering his lonely childhood, the overwhelming fear of abandonment that haunted him his whole life because of it, and the events that culminated in a clash between himself and a powerful sorceress would be devastating to someone who believes he’s lived his whole life as simply and normally as one possibly could. And that’s not even touching upon the places he went to before he arrived in Kairos— particularly, an Academy of Despair, within which he spent several utterly crippling months. Squall’s life has been a series of traumatic events, and the only remedy is complete ignorance.
It’s quite unfortunate that ignorance is not permitted to last.
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Daffodil
Does your character spend their time mostly indoors or out? What would see them retreat inside? What would drag them out of the house for a few hours?Squall Leonhart is a very busy individual; in order to keep up his grades and work enough to pay his rent, he spends most of his day cooped up inside either a school building, warehouse, or store. The only time he really spends outside is when he’s walking from place to place, though when given the rare opportunity, you’ll probably find him strolling around town to take in the scenery or just unwinding silently in a city park. The sole thing that keeps him inside more often than usual is during a particularly money-tight month, slaving over lengthy hours at his variety of workplaces.
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frw meme ♒ 002
Poppy: Any latest developments in the AU story for your character so far since last week? If you’ve recently joined, what’s going for your character right now? What are they up to?
Ash: Has your character made any friends? Any enemies? Frenemies?
Barley: What is your character’s opinion of the two cities? Do they have a favourite? Do they spend more time in one than the other?
Daffodil: Does your character spend their time mostly indoors or out? What would see them retreat inside? What would drag them out of the house for a few hours?
Cherry: Has your character found anywhere to hang out? If not, what kind of place would they like to hang out in?
Iris: Let’s look at the finer details of their homes. Who does their grocery shopping? How often do they clean their home? Do they often entertain guests? What sort of things do they have in their fridge?
Ivy: What is their financial status like at the moment? Rich? Poor? Struggling with rent? Etc.
Lily: What’s something from their past that you would not want your character to remember? A bad memory? Dangerous item? Explain why!
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"Tell me you’re sorry."
'Late' was the word that always wrought him into a state of dread. Late was when he received a scolding by the teachers at school, when he felt the disapproving gaze of his work superiors and feared the condemning possibility of losing the jobs that kept him tethered to the crowded streets of Kairos. Late for Squall Leonhart was rare, but when it happened it was certain he could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage and his mind spinning to remedy the situation as soon as possible. Normally he walked everywhere he went— from home to school to work and back again… but today he would choose to spend a meager portion of his spending money on bus fare to the grocery store across town where he slaved tirelessly for every cent, every dollar.
Packed. The vehicle was packed with people. Not that Squall would’ve known that was the norm. Worming his way through the others on the bus, the scarred youth positioned himself somewhere near the back, wedged uncomfortably between three or four others. (Was this a good idea…?) He couldn’t help but wonder as the bus took off, wheeling through the tangle of roads and buildings that grew increasingly larger as they left the skirts of town and passed through the center of this bustling metropolis.
It had only taken a minute, maybe two after departure. A speed bump jostled the entire contents of the bus; while most others had grown accustomed to the feeling, either from using transportation for a while or being in their own cars, Squall had not. In fact, he could count the times he’d been on a rolling vehicle on both hands. Balance was lost for a split second, but that was all it took for him to stumble into the person behind him. Instinctively he turned to face them, the tips of his ears reddening behind a curtain of brown hair… though his face remained stoic as ever. Pale blue eyes examined the victim of his momentary disgracefulness; a man who stood slightly lower than himself, with narrowed red-brown eyes and a coat not unlike his own. Squall examined, and while he did the other’s lips parted to speak a simple demand:
"Tell me you’re sorry."
The brunet blinked. Clearly he was supposed to apologize for bumping into this stranger. But there was a flash of memory— no, it could not even be called a memory… it was more along the lines of a flash of feeling— that perhaps there was something else to apologize for. The flash lingered for less than a second, then forgotten entirely.
"…sorry." The mutter was entirely halfhearted. Gaze awkwardly flew to the window. It felt better to watch for his stop than dwell on his mishap. Squall quickly turned on his heel, grabbing the closest thing for support just in time as the bus rolled over another speed bump. This time he remained firmly planted in his spot. By the time the bus had crossed town and deposited Squall on the road which he worked, the man on the bus had faded entirely into memory. A simple happenstance of daily business.
A bloodstained history of despair and death remained firmly locked away in his psyche, as it would for a long, long time.
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Send my muse one of the following to see how they react:
[ credit to talk-to-tennant ]
"Is— is it meant to be bleeding, that much?"
"Help me."
"Don’t touch me!"
"You’re a monster."
"Why are we in a graveyard?"
"How long’s it been?"
"Do you even know what you’ve done?"
"Tell me you’re sorry."
"Do it for me."
"They’re fast, faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and whatever you do… don’t blink."
"Good luck."
"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry."
"Hurts, doesn’t it?"
"Oh, yeah. It does suck when someone says one thing and does the other, doesn’t it?"
"I’m scared."
"I need a doctor."
"Can I help?"
"Excuse you."
"What’ve you done?"
"What’re you doing?"
"How old are you?"
"That’s not how you use it…"
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[ re: re : re: Dave Strider ]
...sorry for the delay. I finished my shift and went to the store. They didn't have any Mountain Dew, but I bought you a can of Cola. That's pretty much the same thing... right? Anyway, I'm heading over to your place now. To complete my Dewvenger destiny... or whatever.
I hope you plan on reimbursing me for this... I can't afford to be buying you these kinds of things (No, Dave didn't need to know about his financial situation. No one did. It was his concern and his concern alone.) it's not like I need to be repaid pocket change... but I can't just take time out of my day for nothing. I've got stuff I need to do. My bills don't pay themselves, and my homework doesn't magically get completed.
If you're going to play the role of Dave Fury, you'd better have the funds to back me up.
TO: lionfart or whatever his name is
FROM: dave
of course im srs when the fuck did i ever JOKE about this kind of thing do you honestly think i have nothing better to do with my time than assemble my team of dewvengers.
you can be hawkeye by the way
squawkeye
ive told you man dont you ever listen the business is boomin and if you want in one these sweet shares you gotta get ur ass in gear and fuckin buy my dew first its wallmart and then the world man just remember that frame this fucking text if you have to so that every day you can remind yourself of you goal.
your destiny
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♚ -- { ooc; I'm finally home from my trip! Which means I'll be kicking this blog off the ground as soon as I possibly can; while I'm going to attempt knocking out a few replies tonight (key word being 'attempt') I can't guarantee I'll get much done until I get myself properly rested up again. Thank you all for being so incredibly patient with my packed schedule lately! }
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[ re : re: Dave Strider ]
...alright, then. Something tells me you aren't being 100% serious. Or "srs". Whatever you call it. But I guess if you were, having the federal agents bust in for a Mountain Dew is better than being busted for an actual drug raid. Unfortunate casualty in the pop plant, though.
And I wasn't aware "Dave's Dew Boy" was a viable career option. Start paying me more than the crap wages I make here, and I'll gladly be a full-time Mountain Dew deliveryman.
TO: lionfart or whatever his name is
FROM: dave
100% srs dude when was the last time i tricked ur balls about mountain dew its up there with aj not entirely same level but roughly a dicks length away
yeah man im telling you there came down through the ceiling like a motherfuckin drugs raid and kicked over that pop plant by the door and just messed up the whole place.
hurry up why do you even work there come work for me be my dew boy
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♚ -- { ooc; As I mentioned in my introduction, I'm going on a trip in a few days... specifically, Wednesday! But tonight I'll be studying for several tests, and tomorrow I'll be finishing up my packing. So this means I won't be on the dash for a little while, until around March 14th. (Which is the date I get back!) Once things settle down I hope to engage in more threads and make some more friends in this lovely group, so goodbye until then...!! }
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[ re : Dave Strider ]
...are you serious? What's with all of the theatrics? You could've said, 'I've finished the Mountain Dew' and gotten the point across just fine... ... ... I'll pick you up your drink after work. I'm almost done. If you want it any faster, you can go get it yourself.
His fingers hover above the keypad. Squall hesitates before adding to the message:
... ... ...are there really federal agents in your house?
[ text : ALL CONTACTS ]
national fucking emergency you guys stop drop and roll we got ourselves a real life dilemma here i need back up asap i repeat asap. swat team are already on the way but this mission needs you too soldier so buckle the heck up and get ready to receive the deets
theres no more mountain dew left in my entire house
ive been raided by the god damn dew feds they drank me dry and not in a sexy way. its all gone and they just left behind the empty crate as if i can patch up the whole in my chest with this flimsy piece of cardboard
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