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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Got any life advice?
yep
cheat in solitaire.
listen to the world.
make up your own gods and pray to them.
think about chuck e cheese.
stare at a wall.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Part 2 of my biker dandelion ficlet!
Requested by @dapandapod @dazedandinked and @etcorsolus
Ship: Gerlion
CW: Brief mention of Geralt gaining weight. It is probably important to note that Dandelion is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns.
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Geralt couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt butterflies in his stomach. Even before his first date with Dandelion, there had only been just a quiet anticipation, the nerves you get before anything new. Their first date had gone better than Geralt had expected, and as they’d parted, Dandelion had brushed their lips against Geralt’s cheek before straddling their Harley and riding off into the busy London traffic.
Touching his cheek, Geralt had watched them go with a dopey smile and a silent vow that he would see Dandelion again.
Dandelion had contacted Geralt that evening, unashamedly requesting a second date, which is how Geralt found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror, struggling to fit into his own biker leather. He’d not worn his own black and red leathers since his early twenties, favouring his four by four, or public transport over his Ducati. Geralt loved his bike but it wasn’t very ideal when visiting the stables and his commute to work was easier by train.
With a heavy sigh, Geralt changed back into his jeans, making a mental note to buy some new leathers if the second date went as well as the first. Then he went to find his poor neglected motorbike in the garage; his original Roach.
She was still in good condition, he’d made sure of that, and a sense of peace settled in his gut when he stroked a hand over the paintwork.
He’d missed riding; just another thing to thank Dandelion for.
His long silver hair was gathered into his helmet and he snapped the visor shut before mounting his bike. Dandelion had suggested meeting at a little roadside cafe not far from Geralt, although they’d been mischievously vague about the details, only making Geralt promise that he’d bring his own bike.
Geralt flew through the countryside, swerving around the traffic when needed as he enjoyed the rush of adrenaline that flooded through him. By the time he reached the car park, he was grinning like a fool.
In the carpark, leaning against their bike with a guitar case slung over their shoulder, was Dandelion. They appraised Geralt with a smirk, until their bright blue eyes reached Geralt’s legs, and they crossed their arms in front of their chest, looking far too sexy in their blue leather jacket that was still zipped up to their neck.
They waited until Geralt had parked, one hand dropping to their hip, and then tutted disapprovingly. “Honestly, Geralt, jeans?” Dandelion scoffed, but there was a teasing glint in their eyes that sparkled like the sun.
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Geralt grumbled, unable to keep the smile off his face as Dandelion leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Been a few years and a few pounds since I last wore them.”
Dandelion, to Geralt’s surprise, let out a peal of laughter, and wrapped their arms around Geralt’s shoulders. Geralt felt his cheeks heat up, the butterflies in his stomach returning at full force. Even though they were laughing, Geralt wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. There was something in their smile that put Geralt at ease.
“Oh god, darling, you should have seen me in my twenties!” Dandelion giggled, “I was such a twink! I was going to be a famous singer, or an actor!”
And as easy as that, they both fell into a familiar banter, teasing each other just like they had online.
Everything was simple with Dandelion.
After a few minutes, Dandelion straddled their Harley, a cheeky smile on their lips. Their helmet rested on their thighs, muscles straining against the leather trousers. They looked like sin, and Geralt couldn’t help but admire the view, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Dandelion .
They winked, their tongue flicking out to lick their lips, “See something you like?”
Geralt smiled as he cocked his head, “Not at all,” he answered dryly, before mounting his own bike.
“Rude!” Dandelion gasped, their hand flying to their chest. “I almost don’t want to tell you what I have in store, but luckily for you, I would be devastated to miss such a delightful opportunity.”
“Dandelion,” Geralt growled before his date could start rambling.
Dandelion beamed brightly, “Time to ride, my dear.”
Following Dandelion through the country lanes was exhilarating, if not possibly the most terrifying thing Geralt had ever done. The idiot had no sense of self-preservation and Geralt saw his life flash before his eyes at least a hundred times. When they finally pulled into a small car park in the middle of a wooded area, Dandelion took Geralt by the hand and led him through the trees, babbling on about the latest book they’d been editing.
Geralt was content to listen, watching the bird and squirrels run around on the dirt path, until they broke out into a clearing.
The sun shone through the trees, bouncing off the specks of pollen that floated through the air, making the whole place look magical. The bird song in the air seemed to harmonise with the melodic tenor of Dandelion’s voice, adding to the mystical effect as wildflowers littered the forest floor. Dandelion peeled off their leather and flopped onto the ground with their guitar case on their lap, getting the instrument out with the utmost care.
And when they began to play, Geralt knew he was done for.
He’d had an inkling that Dandelion was different, more important than any other relationship Geralt had experienced before, but as he sat in the middle of the clearing, watching Dandelion play, he knew that he would marry them.
It was only a matter of time.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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I LOVE THIS TAKE
Hey hey Wolfie... biker Dandelion 👀
Imagine the possibilities
@bi-aragorn a little Tuesday evening treat for you! No content warnings, but my fingers slipped and you have enby!Dandelion.
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Geralt sipped his coffee as he waited for Dandelion to arrive. Online dating wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd try but after Yennefer and the trainwreck that had been their relationship, he was tired of being alone. He craved companionship and he'd never been great with first impressions, so he'd turned to the internet. It was easier to talk online. He could think about what he was going to say and it didn't matter if it took some time.
He'd discovered that he was actually quite funny online.
And Dandelion had been a breath of fresh air. Everyone else wanted to talk about Geralt's hair, his eyes, the scar that ran across his eye, but Dandelion hadn't asked about any of that. They'd jumped right in and started cooing about the horse behind Geralt, and then gone off on a tangent about fields of gold, a pretty butterfly they'd seen on their way to the office, and making some lewd joke about something Geralt had said.
Geralt had been quite smitten in an instant. They'd become fast friends online, messaging daily, flirting harmlessly and without expectation. To Geralt's surprise, he'd been the one to suggest meeting, a small cafe in London that had a good view of the Thames. It was close to both their offices and they could easily get back to work if needed.
Only Dandelion was late. Not entirely surprising from what Geralt knew of the editor and their schedule. They were a bit of a mess and it was something that Geralt teased them about mercilessly, that didn't calm Geralt's nerves now though.
He really didn't want to go back to the office to face Lambert and Eskel if he got stood up.
A roar of a motorbike drew his attention, and he glanced up from his coffee. A gorgeous Harley was weaving through the last few cars in front of the cafe, before drawing closer to the curb. The bike stopped and the rider reached up to remove their helmet. Long blond curls fell down onto the pretty blue biker leather, and Geralt felt his eyes go wide.
Dandelion.
Fuck.
They were broader in person, but Geralt would recognise that hair anywhere. Dandelion was less of a flower and more of a god sent from above. They scanned the crowd in front of the cafe before cornflower blue eyes landed on Geralt and he was awarded with a winning smile.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
They were hot.
Geralt had always known they were beautiful but he hadn't been expecting this. As Dandelion shrugged out of their leather jacket, swaggering over to Geralt with the confidence of a movie star, a tight pale grey t-shirt was revealed, stretching over the muscles of their chest.
Muscles that Geralt could have sworn had never been there in the photographs.
Fuck.
"Dandelion?" He growled, his voice hoarse as he couldn't take his eyes off his date.
"Geralt, I presume. Oh dear me, you're impossibly more handsome in person," Dandelion giggled, a voice that Geralt had only heard over the phone before.
The phone didn't do Dandelion's voice justice, a warm lilting tenor that could melt the hearts of the coldest of men. Geralt didn't stand a chance. He smirked as he cocked his head, not hiding the way he was very obviously checking his date out.
"I could say the same about you," Geralt murmured in a low voice, intending to be seductive. Then he nodded to the bike that was parked up by the curb, "Harley?"
Dandelion grinned and clapped their hands, the twinkle in their eyes even more stunning in person and Geralt knew instantly that they were going to get along just fine.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Some of my fave shots from PMD Sky that I ripped from the game. This game has no business being as beautiful as it is.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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"Oh my! Are you looking to be punished?" 😘💕✨
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Been thinking about how I would do BBC Merlin differently and honestly, I think Gaius should have died at the beginning of series 4, not Lancelot.
Series 4 really should have been the season for the changing of the old guard, not just for Arthur but Merlin as well. Uther and Gaius have been constant forces in these two young men’s lives series 1-3, arguably to the detriment of Merlin’s and Arthur’s shared destiny. During that time, they’ve reinforced that fear and self-preservation should be Merlin’s and Arthur’s sole motivators, that great change isn’t worth the risk.
Gaius knows what Uther is doing is wrong, but he rarely takes any action to stop the king’s carnage unless Merlin insists that they intervene or Merlin’s own life is on the line. As Kilgharrah states as early as 1x06 Gaius, often turns “a blind eye,” “struggle[s] against (Merlin’s) destiny” and his main characteristics, besides his wisdom and wit, are that he is cowardly and unchanging. This not only impedes Merlin’s progress, but it makes Gaius’ role as a character mostly useless in terms of servicing the plot, especially once Merlin becomes more and more knowledgeable about magic; he has an easy mastery of his abilities by series 4. Beyond filling in as the father Merlin never got to have (RIP Balinor), Gaius doesn’t do much.
Arthur and Merlin losing the most important elders in their lives around the same time would have been an excellent parallel that would have reinforced that coin metaphor, and their shared grief would have brought them closer together than ever. It would have also expanded a lot of story opportunities for Merlin (for instance, does he have to give up being Arthur’s servant to become the Court Physician, or does a new character take on the role?)
In argument of Lancelot staying alive: Lancelot, on the other hand, perfectly represents the radical change Camelot needs to see. He’s a knight who didn’t come from a royal family, and he accepts magic wholeheartedly from his first encounter with it. He knows that magic can be both a force for good and evil; he implicitly understands that its users have nuance, just like all warriors. His perspective as a non-magic user and a trusted friend of Arthur’s would have been invaluable to Arthur accepting Merlin’s magic and, more importantly, the potential for magic to be used as a force of good.
There’s a number of fascinating dynamics you could have established between Lancelot and the rest of the Knights as well, not just his relationships with Arthur, Merlin and Guinevere. It also cuts out the possibility of 4x09 happening, which in my book, is only a good thing considering how shoddily Lancelot’s resurrection was handled.
This isn’t to say that Gaius was necessarily a bad person, but there’s no arguing his advice led to a score of Merlin’s terrible decisions, when if Merlin had trusted his gut instinct, things probably would have turned out at least a little better for him.
Tldr: If we wanted to see Arthur and Merlin grow into their destiny together, they both had to lose their problematic mentors who were keeping them rooted in the past.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Little patternless fellow talking with their friends about their marking plans. Original made by @sleepnoises​
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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“You want me to love you with moderation, but do I look moderate to you?”
- Moderation, Florence + The Machine
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Take up space 🌌
✨ my insta ✨
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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AU where r2-d2 is just a roomba with a knife stuck to it
that’s just the clone wars, bud
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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last gift
my instagram
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Vultures are holy creatures.
Tending the dead.
Bowing low.
Bared head.
Whispers to cold flesh,
“Your old name is not your king.
I rename you ‘Everything.’”
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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Right after playing this quest, I knew I had to draw Lambert like this 😂
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet. 
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years. 
Icon. 
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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@bathroom-spiders submitted: Sorry for the bad focus, but, ????????? Why do this? HOW are they doing this?
Some slugs will use a string of excreted mucus to lower themselves to a different place rather than going the long way. They are very slow, so might as well save some time!
Or in the case of leopard slugs, they'll hang from a string of mucus in order to mate because their penis is so enormous they need the assistance of gravity to whip it out, so sometimes that's why you'll see two slugs hanging form a mucus string together. This one isn't a leopard slug, though, of course.
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saltbellsblood · 3 years
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I know andromeda gets custody of teddy after remus and tonks die but exhausted and confused single teenage dad harry is actually something that can be so personal,
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