sadhira
Thus Spoke Harwoods
Ein Buch fur Alle und Keinen
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings obliteration. And I’ll face my fear and I’ll permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye and see its path. And where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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intrusive thoughts are so funny. your brain is like "imagine how fucked up it would be if you pushed that stranger in front of a car lol" and you're like yeah. that would be fucked up. i'm not gonna do that though. and your brain is like "ok. just to make sure i'm gonna make you think of it in graphic detail over and over for the next five minutes just so that you really understand how fucked up it would be." thanks i guess.
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““I’d be smiling and chatting away, and my mind would be floating around somewhere else, like a balloon with a broken string.” Haruki Murakami , The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle”
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A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.
Fuck. When did it get to this
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Then it comes to me: Yes I’ll die, so will everyone, so has everyone. It’s what we have in common. And for a moment, the sorrow ceased, and I saw that it hadn’t been sorrow after all, but loneliness,
Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; “October”
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Being ghosted is painful, in part because we are at risk of filling the silence with a story about our unworthiness.
Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon
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“I was happy three days ago. Today I’m depressed. What happened? Nothing. An inner crutch slipped. Some poorly suppressed memory rose to the surface.”
— Mihail Sebastian, For Two Thousand Years
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“I might have been afraid that if I really loved someone and needed her, one day she might suddenly disappear without a word, and I’d be left all alone.”
— Haruki Murakami
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With no plan, nothing can go wrong. And if something spins out of control, it doesn’t matter.
Parasite (2019), dir. Bong Joon-ho
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