Ever since I was a child I've always wanted to be a mechanical superstructure.

*stepping over my own corpse* sorry about that. it's nice to meet you. yeah don't worry about it, it'll despawn in a few minutes.

Haruhi fujioka really is the character ever. Going by any pronouns in 2006. Big beautiful brown eyes like a baby cow. Constant deadpan delivery. Getting bitches constantly. Reacts to romantic advances with a thousand-yard goldfish stare. Perfect flawless protagonist 10/10

WORK HARD PARTY HARDER

i was in the grocery store and saw an onion on the ground and picked it up, absently saying “poor little guy.” behind me a teenage girl started laughing and then stopped and went “aww. i’m sorry for laughing. that’s nice actually.” and the cycle of cruelty is broken for another generation as a young person realizes that it is not embarrassing to have empathy for another thing that was once living, because certainly to be a lone white onion rolling on the ground in a supermarket would be terrifying to anyone

Giant ass fish masterpost

me: *rolls over and goes back to sleep*

the necromancer who just spent several days constructing and performing a ritual to raise me from the dead:

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

When your friend tells you something good, but utterly incomprehensible

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

Wizards make all those funny hand gestures because they're selecting the spell from a terrible UI

­The reason spell slots are so limited is because your wizard refuses to buy premium magic.