if you’re ever lucky enough to have dreams about someone, and wake up right next to them then you’ll know how i’ve felt the past week or so.with you i don’t have to be anybody.my name is just “yours” i am stuck in a song.we are just sharks and butterflies.vicious and fragile.my neck isn’t the same without you gnawing at it.six days. “A long december and there’s reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving Now the days go by so fast And it’s one more day up in the canyons And it’s one more night in hollywood If you think that I could be forgiven…i wish you would”

ryan ross’ livejournal

December 22nd, 2005

lay like lions in the sand.. one day we’ll settle in seattle.

ryan ross’ livejournal

February 6th, 2006

we put all our money on black in atlantic city-we came out on top. i’m lonely, you should take a vacation.

ryan ross’ livejournal

February 12th, 2006

montaguevscapulet i am romeo.you’ll see. tomorrow you’ll be worlds away…still, happy valentines day.

ryan ross’ livejournal 

February 14th, 2006

i see only black and white.pictures, i feel like i’m a ghost in all of them.I may never get used to this. and i speak to you like the chorus to the verse. drop another line like a coda with a curse. baby, i want something else, to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life.

ryan ross’ livejournal 

February 23rd, 2006

I want to be a lion, everybody wants to pass as cats. yea we all want to be big big stars, but then we have second thoughts about that. I don’t always deal with things the best way, and in order to try and slow my life down I disappear every now and then. so believe in me, because i don’t believe in anything. when everybody loves you, you can never be lonely. sometimes, sometimes it’s not that easy. I have this pocket watch, and I spin the hands around and around just to pretend I have control of things. a month away. we can play normal for a few days. starcrossedlovers.

ryan ross’ livejournal 

March 9th, 2006

you come swimming into view.. I may be a great gambler but i can’t win.i roll six when i need seven.i’m good. but no where near great. I need to get away from the snow..it’s pretty but i need some heat.it’s not coming soon. the sun’s gone down in my eyes.i’ve never been so alone,and i’ve never been so alive. magazine covers are ruining my face.i draw all over them.i knowiknowiknow i know i know i know i can’t keep it all…together. i’d like to believe my horoscope but it’s laughing.when i came to visit you, that’s when i knew. that i could never have you. living my life a thousand times faster than normal.i’m missing home or am i missing you.or am i missing me. i can slow down. i just need to stay up all night. i sleep in a coffin 7 days a week.i don’t dream i don’t don’t dont. back in vampire sleep,that makes it worse.i’m on a train but there’s no one at the helm. she’s got her jaws now,locked down in a smile.but nothing is all right. all right? If i can keep from losing it now. don’t lose it now i don’t think highly of myself.but when you hear you’re a god it gives you quite an image to live up to. and i tell them i’m not.maybe i never will. and the god of wine is crouched down in my room. i want to believe in the faith that grows but i’m having a pretty hard time. the achohol it permeates.and soon the cells give way, and cancel out the day. but.somehow i still try to believe that I’m the one for you cause I know all the dirty things you’d like to do I’m the fear in your eyes I’m the fire in your flies I’m the sound that’s buzzing around your head every creative writer worth our consideration…is a victim: of man given over to an obsession. quoting graham greene. and you are guiltless and free. And I’m hanging on your words,Like I always used to do The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you. I only know because I carry you around In the background I’m way, im way way way way way way way i’m away i’m way away in the background.

ryan ross’ livejournal 

March 13th, 2006

i don’t like what i see. japan. so strange, i am unable to communicate with anyone here whatsoever.i feel like i’m on an entirely different planet, but somehow there are people that know the words to my songs.making a phonecall here is damn near impossible.sorry i missed you..i’ve never wanted home so bad.i miss my dog, i want my bed.it’s me and you.i just want to drivedrivedrive.i want to be somewhere i know with someone i want to know.finally, i’ve got nowhere to go.don’t move so slow. don’t move so slow..

ryan ross’ livejournal

April 4th, 2006

it caught up.everytime i get an ache i think it’s going to put me in there again.I wonder if this was physical or if it could have been in my head,people make themselves sick sometimes.so i try not to think about it and you.it was still sharp through the morphine.living through the holes in my arms.drip fed a liquid diet not quite enough nutrition.and there’s never anything good on tv.i drank contrast.i ate IV’s.look at radioactive me. but, today the sun charged me up some,I can glow in the dark..wish you could see.

ryan ross’ livejournal 

April 9th, 2006

go buy the forgive durden record.they did it better than us.

ryan ross’ livejournal

11th May, 2006

I’m the ghost in the bed.you can touch because i can’t rest. and the lights are always off so I can mold you in the dark.i can shape and pretend.”i just want to have a good time, just like everybody else, but i don’t want to fall apart”

ryan ross’ livejournal 

24 June, 2006

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.the salt burned you right out of my eyes.and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction. Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath. this is why I walk to the ocean.swim with jellyfish.I may never get this chance again. this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss. If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it’s for lovers (orjustfriends) This is why I do it.

ryan ross’ livejournal

25th June 2006