russiantoska
Russian Toska
Toska (n) Russian word roughly translated as sadness, melancholia
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meltlune
light of midnight
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bikinibriefboy
Skants.
positive-40
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looking for a turning point to get out of this downward spiral
1122, 2022 please be nice
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122420
It should be a beautiful day though, to spend the day together with you.
But then I got sick of all sudden. I said sorry because I ruin our moment. I started crying, both because of the pain and dizziness that I felt, also because of the feelings of disappointment in myself.
Then you hugged me. When I was leaning onto your chest, I realized that you soothe me so much. Then I fell asleep in your arms.
Half conscious, I know it when you touch my forehead and my neck with your back of the hand, to make sure if my fever is getting worse.
By that time, I know that it's such a comforting feeling to have someone who takes care of you.
It's such a comforting feeling to have someone beside you when you need them.
And it's such a comforting feeling to have you right there.
I'm glad that was you.
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It's such a comforting feeling to have someone who takes care of you.
122420
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the phase ended,
her prayer did not granted.
it back in a second,
the feeling of forsaken.
71520
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she's wondering,
how long the phase would last,
and deep down she's begging,
so the phase won't just be another past.
42020
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12 hours since then,
and she is still thinking about a letter
written for her
she still got red.
41620
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Dan kita baru sadar
.
Keberadaannya sangat berarti
.
Ketika dia tidak hadir lagi.
Aku // yang sedang merindukan.
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Short call
One night, I made a phone call to you, and said,
“Hey, I feel so tired.”
And then you replied,
“Just take a break and lean on something,”
I sighed.
And you will never know how much I want to lean on your shoulder.
I ended the call.
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Merindukanmu
Dan setiap kali aku mulai merindukanmu, aku akan memutar kembali rekaman itu. Rekaman tentang kau yang berkali-kali berkata “Aku menyayangimu”. Ya, rekaman terakhir yang kau kirim untuk menyemangatiku ketika aku sedang bersedih.
Mendengarnya membuatku lega untuk sesaat. Membuatku ingat bahwa diriku cukup berharga untuk seseorang di dunia ini. Membuatku sadar jika di luar sana masih ada orang yang peduli kepadaku dan dengan indah menyayangiku. Ya, orang itu adalah kamu.
Tapi kemudian, aku tersadar kembali. Menyadari sesuatu yang mengubah senyum di hatiku. Aku menyadari kenyataan bahwa kini kau tak lagi di sisiku. Dan itulah mengapa semua yang bisa aku lakukan hanya mengulang dan terus mengulang rekaman itu.
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If could be your eyes and see the world like you did,
then maybe I could love you the way I've always wanted to.
Calc.
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Your words is something that feels so real but does so fake.
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What’s the meaning of us when we both question each other’s feelings?
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Why don’t we just forgive each other and back like we used to be? Why you always ignore me and keep us in silence that really kills me inside?
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Because when I said goodbye,
I sure you’ll forget me.
I don’t wanna lose you for the second time,
I realised that.
One Way Ticket
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