nice outfit loser. 1914 just called, something really bad just happened to archduke franz ferdinand of austria

”guy who sells talismans from the back of his van” IM DYINGGG

what people don't tell you about maximalism is the Dust

this app is great bc i’ll be scrolling past gifs of two men having raw sex and then i’ll be inexplicably whisked away to the app store page for the monopoly app

genuinely feel like a gnome i ate too many blueberries and i feel sick,

Avengers Assemble Steve Rogers // Captain America: Civil War Tony Stark

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

(inclusively) hey hole-havers

That post I made over new years had people at my THROAT for saying I only buy real leather. Sorry I really do think that wearing textured plastic that will fall apart in under 5 years and go on to irreparably poison the environment is the worse option here.

All of the Beatles dying in a glue trap

Thinking about how red marble stone look way too much like meat

who am i if not a guy who wears the same stupid little necklace. All the time.

dude i just got shot i need you to suck the bullet out

wish i could go missing for a little bit and no one would freak out and then i could come back and they'd be like "did you have fun going missing" and i'd be like "yeah, thanks" and then i could do that every couple of months or so and it wouldn't be a big deal