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ROSARY☩FLAMES
† For the LORD will execute judgment by fire And by His sword on all flesh, And those slain by the LORD will be many †
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dokusuri:
Heavens above, do not really cut yourself!
[he laughs softly to himself, sure that Dogma was just saying that to make his point, but… still, he’s got reasons to worry. this, to be fair, is an awful night as far as mental health and stability goes.]
Mmhmhm, I believe in myself, Father. Not to worry. I am a solid entity that exists in service to others.
At times it is a bit hazy past that. But that is a start, is it not? You know, I catch myself musing and thinking that I would be able to accept your God if only better things started happening to me, but…
We are supposed to go to Him, are we not? So then I wonder, why my throat suddenly closes up, why my hands tense at the notion of it. No fear. Perhaps even no pride.
Rather, indignation. Must I do everything? Must I really suffer through the flames of Hell and back, living now merely a floor above that fiery torment in purgatory while Heaven has watched, all this time, laughing at my dirty form, never once considering intervention?
…
[Kantera blinks. he’s surprised even himself with all that.]
… So I think from time to time.
[ ♰ ] - Of course it was merely an expression, Dogma had no intentions of hurting himself in any physical sense. The Priest’s lips pressed into a thin line as Kantera spoke, the mention of being in service to others made him ponder… what did Kantera mean by that? Was it because he did provide service in terms of his medical assistance? Or did Kantera actually feel subservient to others in terms of his self-esteem and status? Dogma considered whether or not to press the matter; in his eyes people were subservient only to the Lord, any service to others was merely goodwill and the means of a happy co-existence.
For now the thought was filed away for another time, and silently he let Kantera continue onto what could only be described as darker subject matter.
The Priest’s brows creased into arched concern, though in true Dogma fashion he probably looked more irritable, his eyes narrowed slightly. However, under his under his serious expression there was apprehension. Slowly Dogma made his was back over to the bed and perched on the side next to Kantera, his red eyes never wavered or turned away from the Draken’s, with the serious nature of the conversation Dogma didn’t even blush at the proximity.
“Is that really how you feel? That the heaven’s laugh at your suffering?” The words already felt bitter in Dogma’s mouth; Kantera’s feelings towards God seem so far-fetched to Dogma and yet he knew Kantera probably thought the same of Dogma’s views – so naturally it would be wrong to cast Kantera’s feelings aside as being ‘wrong’. If that was how he felt at this moment in time Dogma wouldn’t disrespect that, but he sincerely hoped those feelings could one day be altered to something that would make Kantera more content within himself.
“I’m afraid I can’t sugar coat scripture and give you an easy answer. It’s true that God will not end your suffering or endure it for you, but God can be there with you, and God does not discriminate… We must all face suffering and hardships in our lives.” Some more than others, although for now Dogma didn’t care to admit that.
Dogma finally broke his eye contact though it only lasted a moment as he glanced down to digest Kantera’s words. When Dogma looked back up he almost seemed angry, his eyes appearing to be an even more piercing shade of red.
“Do not call yourself a dirty form, you are made in God’s image, and I won’t hear such slander under my roof.” It sounded like Dogma was trying to tell off a child, but it was more like his roundabout way of trying to pay a compliment or offer some reassurance. He sighed before settling back properly onto the bed, resting his back up against the headrest and crossing his arms as he thought about Kantera’s fair and poetically pessimistic views on religion.
“There are many reasons why I believe God does not intervene…I believe that the Lord loves us as his creation enough to give us free will which has allowed us to do good, but unfortunately this has also allowed us to do evil. Those flames of suffering you describe are man-made, at least in my eyes….”
“Another reason I believe God does not intervene is because when any acts of evil occur, acts of heroism and strength flourish, and when people feel pain and suffering they are more inclined to work towards a righteous life because that pain and suffering doesn’t exist in heaven. I see that evil as an invitation to God’s kingdom; when we see evil or live through suffering we are invited to assist the Lord to bring the good out of the bad, to offer prayer and to work towards a next life where we wont endure this pain again. Some may think of it as cruel, but I see it as a greater good...”
Dogma didn’t fool himself into ever things Kantera would agree with him, but despite the gloomy hint to the conversation Dogma felt oddly comforted by it. It was nice to spend the evening with some company, and Dogma felt more needed when trying to stop Kantera’s mind spiralling into darker and darker places with some intellectual debate. It was nice to feel so at ease with someone despite having polar opposite beliefs.
Yes… he could get used to more evenings of late night conversations to fill what would otherwise be silence. - [ ♰ ]
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dokusuri:
Oh! My, my, do you really think I am a strong person…? I–
I seem to teeter back and forth on that idea of myself, ohoho… Never quite sure if I am strong or feeble.
[what are you if you can’t laugh at yourself?]
… Mmhmhm. Aww, do not be so prejudiced! I am listening to you, I am not simply asking you to speak so I may fall asleep to some droning… Please. Continue.
[and when Dogmna does, his eyes stay on the preacher. not fully open, but… attentive. adoring. it was a childlike wonder, which was a look one just did not see very often on the face of the doctor who grew up much too quickly.]
… You amaze me. Do you know that? Your book, and your certainty, it– it amazes… mme. Please, don’t- don’t take it personally when I say I do not trust it, I… [he yawns a little] I want to be like you. I want to believe something.
[ ♰ ] - Dogma certainly didn’t think of Kantera as feeble, but he didn’t feel it necessary to repeat his reassurance at the risk of watering it down. He’d said his piece, now it was up to Kantera to take a good look at himself and, hopefully, believe it too.
The Priest gave Kantera a narrowed and sceptical glance, still not convinced that Kantera wouldn’t doze off mid Dogma’s sentence. But hey, if he wanted the other male to have faith, Dogma supposed he ought to give Kantera the benefit of the doubt too.
“Ahem, very well…” Dogma continued to read aloud, his tone a mellifluous hum until he caught a sideways glance at Kantera looking at him with that adoring glance, it was enough to throw Dogma off a little, voice scratching slightly as a blush rose to his cheeks. He quickly shook it off, his voice returning to its regular octave as he focused once again on the words in front of him (though really, he’d memorised these passages hundreds of times).
Just when Dogma felt relaxed Kantera had to go and say another absurd thing to throw him off kilter, his slightly widened red eyes turned back to the Draken. Dogma had always tried to remain humble, he wasn’t supposed to amaze people, rather, he was supposed to show people the amazement of God. It almost felt selfish to enjoy Kantera’s seemingly high opinion of it, it was too much.
At the second part about wanting to believe in something, a flicker of sadness washed over Dogma’s features. He didn’t want to pity Kantera but couldn’t help but think what a sad state of mind it must be in to not have that constant comfort of faith. He closed his bible, setting it to one side for now.
“Well… Religion is an enormous thing to put trust into, I trust it because I have grown up with it my entire life, I cannot expect you and others to believe so easily, so perhaps we ought to try with something smaller and, more tangible first.” With that Dogma rose out of bed and paced towards the window, pulling back the curtains to look at the glittering sky.
“When you look outside what do you see? You see the moon and the stars but you remember that the sun was there too, and you know it will be back by morning. That is a belief, that tomorrow will bring a new day. If I were to break this window and cut my hand on the glass I would feel pain, that pain and many other attributes give me the belief that I am real, so – I will believe in myself.”
“If I can believe in just these two very simple things then I can believe that tomorrow brings a new day and I will have the chance to be a part of it and make a difference.” He turned back to Kantera. “My belief in God is a little like that, I believe in him and that one day I will enter his Kingdom so I must live each day righteously. I’m not asking you to do that if it’s too much, but perhaps you can begin simply by believing in yourself, and that there is a tomorrow for you.” - [ ♰ ]
#dokusuri#✞VERSE: Dreamworld#✞Townspeople: Friends#who asked for this long-ass reply? no one that's who
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Dogma, I found Jesus. -@Forestpyre
[ ♰ ] - “I think you are mistaken Cody, he’d at least have a capital ‘J’.”
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((I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS, tomorrow I’m flying to America to spend mine with @expressionlessdreamer and I’m so excited I think I might actually die))
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dogma do you play video games with cody?
[ ♰ ] - “I have tried to.”
“Though I’m not particularly good at them.” - [ ♰ ]
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*death metal music suddenly blasts from outside the church, followed by a deafening death metal S C R E A M before falling silent*
[ ♰ ] - Satan is approaching - [ ♰ ]
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Oh my god Dogma there are DRAGONS EVERYWHERE. -@Forestpyre.
@forestpyre
[ ♰ ] - ”Dragons?! Where?!” He VERY QUICKLYdraws his sword and is ready for battle, however-
“Cody, you’re not just yelling nonsense because you’ve spent too much time with the Catties and their sinful narcotics, are you?”
...
“Also please don’t use the Lord’s name in vain like that.” - [ ♰ ]
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sweats nervously as i drop a bunch of inforussell photos from my wallet…………….. sorry for the bad handwriting, everyone.
this originally just said ‘thank’ but i figured it was probably better to change it:
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(reaper voice) God, Dogma loves men (and women) (when will your bi fave ever)
[ ♰ ] - “As a faithful servant of the Lord, is it not my duty to love all those created in his image?” He paused, suddenly wondering why the reaper was speaking to him. It didn’t feel like his time was up just yet.... - [ ♰ ]
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FIST ME DADDY
[ ♰ ] - “...”
He doesn’t have enough Holy water for this level of sin. - [ ♰ ]
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jerry! JERRY! I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME JERRY!!!
[ ♰ ] - "There will be none of that under this sacred roof!!” Dogma yells, spraying the anon with some much needed Holy water. - [ ♰ ]
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regretful-apathy:
Russell couldn’t help but shiver in the cold, he didn’t have much in the way of warm clothes, but he did manage to find one of his scarves and a coat to help a little. It was still cold, but he’d be fine, he’d gone through winter after winter without anything at all, after all.
He hadn’t missed how busy Dogma was for the holiday, the priest seemed to be pretty enthusiastic about decorating. Maybe Christmas had something to do with the church? Either way, who was Russell to ruin his fun? He’d just have to keep his mouth shut to make sure he wouldn’t.
“…They’re nice, Dogma.” He mumbled, glancing back at the colorful strings of lights. It wasn’t a lie, he did like the festive decor, he just didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. Though, something crossed his mind, making his expression lose any trace of emotion it had in place of what could’ve been fear or anxiety. It wasn’t obvious, like all of his expressions.
“…Are you sure they won’t be a fire hazard?” He refused to meet Dogma’s gaze now. The priest wouldn’t remember, but he did, and he didn’t want anything like that to happen again. Not now, not after everything that’d happened. Not after he’d actually been able to grow close to anyone again.
[ ♰ ] - Dogma nodded in agreement. There was something very enchanting and warm about Christmas decorations, especially the soft glow of the lights. Supposedly (or so Dogma heard) people’s levels of happiness would drop in winter because of the long nights and cold days, but when it came to Christmas everyone was full of festive cheer…well…almost everyone – Russell didn’t look enthused at all.
“Of course it’s a shame when people get too caught up in just the decorations and presents, Christmas is a Holy celebration to mark the birth of the son of God.” Ah yes, trust Dogma to have something negative to say about everyone’s holiday spirits. “That’s another reason why the lead up to Christmas is so important for the Church, it’s vital we have plenty of sermons and other celebrations to teach people the religious values in the run up to Christmas.” He wasn’t sure whether Russell had celebrated Christmas in a religious or non-religious way hence the rant, if only he knew how subpar all of Russell’s Christmases has been.
At the question, Dogma was a little caught off guard, what an…odd thing to suddenly think about.
“Oh, I hadn’t really paid it any mind, but I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. If anything I ought to check back at the Church. It’s full of candles for this evening’s Christingle service. Not to mention the Christmas tree...” Which was definitely a fire hazard, not that he was worried about the Church suddenly burning down, what a preposterous thought! Dogma quickly turned back to Russell, who still looked rather cold.
“Would you like to come with me? I could tell you a little more about the service we’re having tonight.” - [ ♰ ]
#regretfulapathy#✞Lord have mercy on him: Russell#✞VERSE: Dreamworld#pls some stick some candies and candles in an orange ITS FOR GOD#also lol @ the church buring down imeanwhat
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dokusuri:
[Kantera was not expecting that honest of an answer.]
[as he explains himself, he laughs in return]
I… I like you too? Sorry– I was not prepared for this!
Am I a volatile person? I never would have thought so… I would hate to be hard to get along with! I would not punish you over a simple disagreement, if that is what you worry about.
[… Kantera starts to think of what he would consider an irredeemably bad person. he thinks about someone he used to know, named Haru.]
… Dear boy, I strongly doubt you would fall so far from the grace you comfortably rest in. What on earth would give you the idea otherwise?
[ ♰ ] - Dogma’s lips tightened into their signature little v shape as he blinked back his surprise, Kantera almost sounded nervous, as if Dogma had thrown him off with his bluntness. Was it strange or endearing? Both, probably. Dogma’s expression soon relaxed.
“Ah, no… I wouldn’t say volatile.” The word had too many negative connotations for the Priest’s tastes, Kantera never radiated something negative, even if he was in one of his darker headspaces. “By unpredictable I mean just that; when I think I know something I’ll say it only for you to come out with something that suddenly questions the way I think. It’s not a bad thing, and I certainly don’t think any of the things we disagree on are bad either. On the contrary, it’s very interesting.”
Even Dogma had to admit those Tarot cards that went so against his faith and what he knew had given him great insight, and even if Kantera would never be a religious man (to this day Dogma was still unsure of where Kantera stood on that spectrum), the fact that he even came to church or would listen to Dogma’s sermons and other advice meant a great deal.
At Kantera’s next statement the comfortable expression on Dogma’s face became more tense, he wasn’t so sure if he ‘comfortably rested’ in his grace, sometimes it felt like he was teetering on some proverbial edge. In those times his mind would wander to the things he knew he shouldn’t want but craved regardless. God’s voice always called him back to reality of course, always reminded him that God didn’t favour the greed of man, until now.
“Well…” He began. “I did just kiss you, and you’re- well, I’ve never kissed anyone, not a woman or a man, so I-” He looked away, an ever-so-slight blush adorning his cheeks. “I wonder…” He wondered what else he may end up craving, God forbid, he shook his head. “Never mind, it matters not.” He was faithful servant to the Lord, not a sinless being but one living in God’s image and following his path. So long as Dogma was doing that, the sins he committed that stopped him committing even greater sin such as lying to himself were surely for the best. - [ ♰ ]
💋 on the insides of both Dogma's wrists - dokusuri
@dokusuri 💋 YOUR MUSE GIVING MINE A KISS
[ ♰ ] - The touch was more gentle than anything Dogma was accustomed to, his hands knew the slap of a ruler over his knuckles at Sunday school and his wrists remembered being dragged around by Cody – so this was foreign, but it was nice.
“What are you-!?” His response was cut short, the tension seized his body as if he should prepare for the worst, but instead he felt soft lips press against his wrists. The shock vibrated in his chest, Dogma could feel the hairs at the back of his neck on end as warmth flooded his cheeks with a pink glow. But as uptight as ever Dogma still kept a furrowed expression, teeth pressed together as his heart thumped at an erratic pace.
“…” His hands clammed up and he couldn’t find the words, he could only muster them when he diverted his gaze to the side; looking Kantera in the eye right now felt far too intense. “You really are unpredictable…” - [ ♰ ]
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regretheld:
Though unwarranted, Russell hummed in acknowledgement when he was given the explanation. At least it hadn’t come from cleaning the pews; that spared the boy any pangs of guilt that might have arisen from neglecting to pay the church a visit as of late.
“It’s okay,” he replied. While he found no point in school, he didn’t entirely mind reading. It was a bit like playing video games - his mind could wander freely without thinking about what awaited him at home. He shifted some of his weight to his toes, slightly leaning forward to curiously peer into the box.
None of the titles he recognized, their subject matter seemingly far removed from his sphere of interest. Not that he had a clearly defined sphere of interest in the first place, but the books, or the ones that laid at the top, might as well have been written in a foreign language. He shifted back onto his feet, watching Dogma’s face contort from the effort it took to carry the box. “Do you need help carrying them?”
[ ♰ ] As Russell peered into the box Dogma automatically crouched slightly to let the blond have a better look of what was inside. It was unsurprising that the books didn’t pique Russell’s interests, since Dogma’s collection was mostly to do with history or religion. The realms of fantasy novels or anything alike were considered sinful, not that he had any idea what sorts of books Russell liked; the boy rarely gave much away about himself.
“Actually, that would certainly be helpful. Thank you.” The box was beginning to feel quite heavy, and on top of that having the books piled up so high would probably cause Dogma to bump into yet more people; so if he could save himself the embarrassment he’d gladly take Russell’s assistance.
He lowered himself down a little further to help Russell take a few of the books off of the top, however another slipped off and onto the ground in the process. With the box in his way Dogma couldn’t see which had fallen, but its cover read ‘Getting Past Guilt: Embracing God’s Forgiveness’. - [ ♰ ]
#regretheld#✞Lord have mercy on him: Russell#✞VERSE: Dreamworld#*laughs at dogma's book collection tbh*
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dokusuri:
[Kantera couldn’t help but squint, letting out a little groan as his eyes protested to the sudden, if dim, light near his face. But after he rubbed his eyes for a moment, he was fine.]
[… and dazzled, admittedly.]
[he answers Dogma’s question:]
I didn’t think you would take my question seriously, but I am glad you did… Is that really how it works, Father?
[he smiles weakly]
No wonder you have all that energy to clean every day, you must have wonderful sleep knowing you are safe and sound. How I envy you, being able to believe in things like this. Should it be true, I as I am now am… Woefully deaf to it. Not for lack of trying…
[he doesn’t want to scare Dogma, but he’s so low mentally that he just can’t trust beings like God.]
[ ♰ ] - Of course they’d had enough conversations over freshly brewed tea for Dogma to know Kantera didn’t share Dogma’s strength of faith, it wasn’t Dogma’s role to judge that, he could only act as a guide, however he couldn’t help but frown slightly at the utterly forlorn tone of the other male’s voice. His fingers leafed through yet more pages.
“I believe the Lord protects me, yes. My faith in God is what gives me strength, and I have spent many years reading scriptures to let that strength sink in, I don’t expect that the same could happen for someone else overnight.” He kept his eyes on the pages as he spoke. Dogma’s tone wasn’t particularly soft of sympathetic, but that wasn’t on purpose – Dogma’s voice was probably just a little lower out of tiredness more than anything.
“It may be that you find strength and comfort in other places, I for one have been witness to your strength, I have seen you fight alongside others to keep this town safe and it’s admirable that you protect others whilst not having that feeling of safety within yourself, and so I pray you find it.” He went silent for a moment, pondering. “Perhaps you’ll find that it’s the very people you protect who will be the ones to give you that feeling of solace…if you cannot feel God’s presence at least know the residents of this town will look out for you and care for you just as you do for them.” Dogma wished he could give Kantera the answers he wanted, but unfortunately, he was not a miracle worker, he could only go off what gave comfort to himself.
“If you’ll allow me I shall read to you more, even if you choose to only humour me and pretend to listen.” He shot Kantera a look that said something on the lines of ‘because I know you have zoned out plenty of times whilst I’ve been talking’, but again Dogma wasn’t trying to be cold, if anything he was trying to lighten the mood and didn’t know how else to go about it.
Even if the scriptures themselves couldn’t help Kantera at this very moment, perhaps just having something or someone to listen to would be a nice distraction, or lull him into a boredom-driven slumber; either would be fine.
Dogma found the desired page, and began to read again.“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us…” - [ ♰ ]
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[ ♰ ] - When your Church Christmas tree be lookin’ so fleek you might as well just climb on top of it because you’re the real star of the show - [ ♰ ]
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