09/30/22 @ 0155

Hey man,

I'm sorry to hear about everything that just happened in these last two days. It's absolutely crazy that someone you personally knew just ruined their life by making such a disgusting choice in trying to be with a minor. It's worse knowing he admitted to it. It's worse knowing there's so much toxicity going on and people aren't protecting a child. It's worse knowing you had great admiration for this man especially with the coaching position you're in now and wanting to give the kids the best experience possible and let them know this is a safe space for them. It's worse knowing another person you once looked up to and called a brother did the same typa shit TWICE and none of us batted an eye about it back in the day now he's walking all free. This is such a shitty thing happening in the community.

The way this has impacted so many people you do and don't know in the community is insane and heartbreaking. Please make sure when you talk to the kids on Monday, be as transparent with them as possible and let them know you will do everything you can to protect them from shit like this. I'm absolutely sick about everything going on. I hope you can find the time to process this more and heal from this pain.

I'll talk to you soon, please take care of yourself and please take care of your physical, mental and emotional.

Me

09/10/2022 @0059

Yoo this is gonna be a quick talk between us, but just know the anxiety and fear you felt all day will go away and you'll remember this day as a good Friday spent with Salem and Drigo. From going to the U and getting the set basically finished, to ramen, to going back to Salem's, to B and Kaila facetiming the cousins about their engagement and you even skipping the club tonight, it'll all be good don't worry. It's just a good day overall that happened to get filled with a rollercoaster of emotions, it's not a bad life. I'm glad you made the choice to stay back and take care of yourself, you deserve to give yourself that self space.

Now idk how the weekend will go but I'm sure it'll all look up from here. You got this, one day at a time.

Always here if you need me. Talk to you soon.

Me

09/07/2022 @1402 and 09/08/2022 @0344

Oh shit what's good dawg! Long time, no see! I haven't had the chance to talk to you in almost six months that's crazy. I know a lot of shit has gone on in your life during that time so might as well unpack it here. Let's get into it.

Mama and Papa's wedding anniversary was beautiful and you even got to perform for them. I know that was probably scary doing that in front of so much people but you pulled through in the end. Shoutout Bakit Pa on being a fire song lol. The wedding was beautiful and I'm so glad it got to happen in the end. Great day overall.

GrooVe had retreat and that was dope getting to bond with everyone on the team. Can't really remember much aside from one of my teammates telling me they liked me even though they already had a mans and staying up hella late with Matt, Eileen, Sean , and Alissa the second night. The Caribbean jerk bowl at that one place was fire too lol. That's really all I remember.

Last time we talked you were telling me about the girl you liked and how you were tryna play the long run widdit but that definitely didn't workout as you got rejected a month later but it's cool no big deal. Got to celebrate Ma's 75th literally the day after getting rejected but being around family was great and yo the backyard looked extra big that night with that tarp up. A great night indeed. I was able to make and record my Afraid piece at the U also. Ma ended up having to go back to the hospital a few days after I made that piece, so everyone was making sure to visit her while she was admitted. As April was coming to a close is when everything changed.

The cousins were out for Mai's bday and you were getting ready to surprise them at Ballast Point since you were out at rehearsal. Right as practice was coming to an end, you saw your watch go off and a text saying everyone needs to get to the hospital because Ma wasn't doing good. Whole fam ended up staying there till almost midnight as none of us knew if she'd make it through the night. A lot of tears and prayers were going out but as the following Sunday morning approached, things were starting to look better as Ma looked like she was doing a lot better compared to the night before. She finally made it home on Monday and it was nice having her back home. Tuesday hit and everything looked to go bad again as we didn't know if she'll make it through the night. Everyone all pulled up to Doh's house and we stayed there overnight just to be sure she would be okay. Wednesday morning hits and we're all still there but slowly everyone left to go home, shower etc but everyone came back. We ran the Rosary and I don't remember if we ate after but all I remember is the parents going to the garage with DRom to discuss whether or not to pull the plug on Ma. The cousins circled around her and we did a toast to Ma that Doh led. Rigt after that she passed and the discussion about pulling the plug didn't matter anymore. Ma saw we were all gonna be okay and went out on her own terms. To this day, I swear she ended up travelling all the way to Vegas and told Tito Jimmy that they gotta go home together as he ended up passing the day right after so the family was in a lot of pain to end the month and rolling into the next month. All we had was each other to keep ourselves up. Just wanna give a major thank you to Adryane for checking in on me every day and even still to this day. If you ever do read this, know I'm insanely thankful for you. I also wanna thank Debs, Drigo, Salem, Matt, and Grace for being there for me as well through it all. I owe y'all everything and y'all deserve the world. So much love and appreciation for y'all.

Those novena nights were very tough to go through but I instantly had the idea to record every night as well as the viewing days so Ma could see just how loved she was by everyone while watching from above. I know she smiling down on all of us.

I was able to tough it out enough to also get back in my dance life and get ready for both the GRooVe set and Debs' Project Soup set. Went to Sean's house for Maddi's bday and ended up crashing at Debs' house since had her performance the following day. After the performance I just remember leaving early and going back to Debs' house with her so she could catch a flight and I could get my car. I ended up getting an insane anxiety attack and drove home to be alone. As I was almost home I still remember a car behind me flashing their lights and when I looked to my rear view mirror, no car was behind me. I knew that was Ma looking out for me letting me know she'll always be watching over myself and the family. It was a big sign of relief for me that we'll be okay just before the week of her funeral.

The toughest part about having to go through all of this is a fact I did not need to know during the time I was told. A good friend of mine told me literally on mother's day and which also was the week of the funeral he was now talking to the girl I just got rejected by. The following day she told me as well. At first I was a lil shook by it but it flew over my head as I had something more important to deal with. Once that passed and now a new situation was at the forefront of my problems I truly did not know how to handle it at first. For someone you called a brother to tell you shit like that and knowing what you're currently going to and add to the fact he wasn't even tryna be there for you, a lot of love and respect was lost. I couldn't be around two people that I was once so close to and one I was a teammate with. I did everything I could to avoid them even though I really was only mad at one. It was a lot to take in but in the end shit got settled for the most part. I've learned to forgive, I don't need to forget but it's okay to forgive. I did what I needed to so I could allow myself to move on from everything negative and just focus on the good in life as best as I could.

Towards the end of May, I went to Vegas with GRooVe to perform out there. Overall a great weekend and I truly believe that's where life began to look up again as I was still going through it. The drive there and back was cool as well as the team and being around them. The two people I couldn't be around were both there and I basically did what I could to avoid them as best as I could. Highlights of that weekend for me are definitely the first night in Matt and Debs' room at the airbnb with them two plus Alissa and Edris, going out with Adryane and Grace after the performance, and driving back home with Grace, Molly and JDR. Within the two days back from Vegas, definitely trauma bonded with Debs and I'd say that's when I truly got a lot closer to her. Debs if you ever read this too, just know I'm maad thankful for you. Thank you for everything these past six months. The foggy air was also cleared with the girl I once liked and that was the start of a healing process for me as well.

Nothing too much in June but started it off with Pop's bday which was beautiful and spending the weekend in Newport was dope. Father's day was shortly after which was also the same day as gfam auditions. Clooby Groovies went to the club hella often lol. The month ended with a trip to SD to perform again which was a great day as well and the last rehearsal of the season was the friends and family night for GrooVe and it was so nice seeing the support from all the homies.

July is the month of family bdays so spent a shit ton of time with the fam and that always makes me happy being around them. Went to Zedd in the Park as Drigo's plus one since he performed. Random ass night but so gas at the same time. Dropped off Debs and Aaliyah at the airport after rehearsal then kicked it with fam right after until literally the morning lmaoo. I got ti teach Eman, Debs and Drigo my Trademark USA piece and they ate that shit up. Then ended the last few days in SD for Debs' class she taught at Legacy and at WOD to watch GRV perform. July was a great month where life started looking very up again and one of the biggest things happened that I can confidently say changed my life for the better. I got a job to be the coach of the U. My fucking alma mater.

First day as coach was at the beginning of July and I got to teach the kids my Nightcrawlers piece and they did good. From that moment on I was set to bring in all the homies I could to teach them so I can show off my talented ass friends to my kids and allow them to grow as dancers as they barely learned shit the previous year on the team. It was dope and still is dope getting to watch everyone grow and the biggest goal is to show them how far they can truly make it in dance and give back everything that was given to me during my time there.

August was also dope as we started the month with starting a new GRooVe set for a performance out in LA. Another SD trip happened for Sky and Eman's classes. The kids getting to do their first performance of the year and they looked good on stage. Salem finally turned 21 and we went out to Universal Studios and that was sick too. The piece I made at 220 rehearsal the day of Debs' SD class, I was able to record. The kids had dance camp and it was so sick getting to bring in Debs, Ariel, Eileen, Kennedy, Ivan and Jan to teach. We finally got to perform our set in LA and it was a bittersweet moment as that was our newest teammates first and last performance with us. Super glad I got to meet Henry and also be able to drop him off at LAX as he went back to Australia. After that I went to SD again for my parents anniversary and it was nice spending the day there with them and then ending the night in Irvine with grass party. Unfortunate my tire blew out on the way home but we got the spare on it (thank you Debs and Tristien for the help) and made it home safe. Had a nice beach day with the kids at the U. We had a final hangout for Edel too before she left back for Canada. Then Hawaii happened to basically end the month. I can go on for days bout Hawaii but I'll leave it at it was beautiful out there and I wish I could live everyday like that lmao.

Here we are now in September and Adryane just taught my kids on Monday and I'm so glad she was able to teach them. I swear an insane inspo to me and an incredible human being. We just surprised Debs to for her birthday and now it's currently her birthday lol.

Just ended rehearsal where Nick taught us and Clancy did her choreo project and they were both fire. Soup shop remains the goated post rehearsal spot in my opinion and here we are now.

A lot of shit was said and I'm sure there's a lot I left out but I'm happy where I'm currently at in life and I hope this month, although a very busy one, will be another great one. I'm proud of you kid and how you overcame a lot of shit. We'll definitely talk soon and catch up on how the rest of this month goes. Goodluck with everything and remember, SOT/SMT bahaha.

Me

03/10/2022 @534

Holy lanta long time no talk! It's good to see you again. So much has cracked since we last spoke. Birthdays, parties, dancing and a whole lot of deeper friendships made. I'll keep it short and sweer witchu, I'm really proud to see how much you have changed for the better over the last few months. I see the progress and growth in the way you dance and it's really dope to see. Gotta give it up to all the role models and inspirations you have. You're surrounded by such amazing and beautiful people in life it's amazing to see. :,)

The fam is all up rn too and we love to see that. Big ups to big bro moving up in life especially. That's the true role model and inspo right there.

As always, you're a loverboy and that doesn't just mean you're falling for the girl you've liked the last few months. You got love to give to everyone that shit is what makes the world go round. But I meaaaan, take your time with this one, I know it's different from last time even though no moves have been made and I know you running the long game. That's okay, keep doing that, take your time. I believe in this.

Anywho, yoooo you're about to perform with the project team and your team soon. I'm so geeked for you. Who would've thought this would be in your future considering you tried out for the team on a whim just to be around the homies more. Choreo projects also went innnnn. Everyone is so dope. Shit life is so dope. Alright I'll letchu go here, go back to watching stranger things with the homies.

Shout out one more time to the fam and the homies. Keep em in your life. They're so important to you, please never forget that. If y'all ever read this, I got so much love, respect and appreciation for every single one of you. Thank you for everything and making life worth living.

Proud of you kid stay up,

Me

10/01/2021 @ 457

Happy October homie! Nice to see you again. I know some crazy ass shit cracked with your ex the other week but it's all good. Now it's time to truly move on and handle your hustle.

Dancing has been dope as fuck for you again. It's good to see you constantly growing every single day. Keep at it and don't stop.

Disneyland on Wednesday was fire as fuck too. Always nice to go regardless of who you're around.

I see you though you shot shooter you LOL. Don't trip do you and that's all that matters! Go rest up now, you got shit you're helping teach. I'll talk to you soon.

Take care always,

Me

9/17/21 @ 528

Yoo what it doooo! Crazy how you were tryna sleep an hour and a half ago but then your teammate drunk ft'd you lmao. Make sure to check up on her in the morning when you get up.

Crazy how you've been on GRooVe for two months already, time is ZOOMING. Also incredible work on your newest piece. That shit is so gas. Keep the dance grind going because it's only up from here!

Good shit too keeping up school and getting ahead on your work. It's fosho because of the discord calls but it's a huge help. Hope the study sessions get to continue.

Alrighty try to rest up you got that piece to post haha. Talk to you soon. Stay up and stay shooting your shots. 👀

Me

8/13/21 @ 434

What's good widdit my guy! I see you out here taking more and more classes tryna grow in dance, that's what's up! Redoble's class was definitely a push but you got through it. Now it's Mom and Dad's anniversary. 27 years of being married together, that's so gas. Keep doing whatchu doing and keep making them proud. Trust me, they're proud of you. Lunch at Vita will be a vibe and I know you'll have a fit ready for Mom's pics LOL.

Crazy how your second year at CPP is right around the corner. Seems like yesterday you were just starting shit at SAC tryna be an architect. Well anywho I'm proud of you for getting to where you ate today. Only gets better from here, keep that mentality going.

Ayoo but Monday though will be solid as fuck. Trap Lounge tings and whatnot. Just do you and be as good a host as you can be. This group is family right here. Prolly gotta mask up for a bit (you know exactly why), but it's okay it'll be a good night regardless.

Alright I'ma letchu try to crash out you gotta get up in four hours. Talk to you soon, take care.

Me

8/9/21 @ 303

Ayoo! Well cut right to it, it's a big day today. It's S's birthday and that means you needa do all you can to make sure it's good for her. She deserves the damn world and after a lot of late nights being up talking to others, you know whatchu needa do. I'm proud of you for somehow organizing a last minute surprise with everyone's hetic schedules. You have some really incredible people in your corner so be sure to thank them and just play host, that's all you can do.

Good quick chat I'ma letchu get your rest but we'll talk soon before school starts again. Take care.

Me

8/6/21 @ 201

What it do my brother! Nice hearing from you after a few weeks since we last spoke. I'm glad to see this new fire that's driving you forward in life. You've been on the team a few weeks now but it feels like it's been longer than that. I know you still rusty as hell though LOL. Don't let that stop you though, the life we live is a long one and the process of growing and getting better will take time. Don't think this happens overnight.

That LA rooftop cinema night was dope as hell. La La Land really is a good film. It's good you rewatched it before. I remember you saying you're take on it is that people are in your life for reasons or for seasons. I like that take. Kinda relates to you right now. Got all these people in your life for all sorts of reasons, yet some are only there for a season. Y'know, cherish the memories you make and keep the ones in your corner close to you. You know who they are and that's the beauty in relationships with friends and family. Whether y'all talk everyday, or 1-2 times a month, they'll always be there for you when you need them.

Rengoku says, "Set your heart ablaze," yet I don't see you doing that. You know exactly what I'm talking about. The one situation in your life you say you can't control, but the ball is in your hands. Do something about it and let yourself be happy. It doesn't matter if you do or don't rejected. Taking that first step will be a huge relief off your shoulders. I'ma leave it at that.

Good talking to you, I'll hear from you soon enough. Don't forget, do something or get something nice for S. Her birthday is in three days and she deserves the damn world.

God bless always,

Me

7/14/21 @ 424

Ayooo! Long time no talk. First off congrats on finishing your first year at CPP. I know it was a big sturggle adjusting to a new school especially with it being online but this year is your year! Secondly, I'm so glad you're okay after that scary ass accident. It's insane how blessed and loved you are. Cherish that shit forever. Lastly, congrats on making GRooVe. I don't even think joining a team was an idea that would've ever crossed your mind at the beginning of the year. Here we are now midway through July and you got your second practice later tonight. That new found love for dance you got, don't let it go. This is the happiest I've seen you in a really long time. Keep grinding and growing my guy, there's no limit for you.

It's great to see you doing well and handling your business this that shit I knew you always had in you. Aside from whatever the fuck your situationship is, you big chillin. I know what you're feeling is normal just gotta keep reminding yourself that. No need to deny who you love even if the one you thought was "the one" actually isn't. It's okay to move on. I know who makes you happy. She's always there for you at your highest of highs and your lowest of lows. From the good mornings to the good nights, you know she makes you happy and words can't even describe it as you tell me right now. She just gives you that warm and happy feeling inside that just makes you wanna sing and dance with her all night. Might be complicated but you can easily solve this problem. Stay true to yourself.

Alrighty you got a chiropractor appointment later today so go get some rest. Have fun at practice today! Get to know your teammates since that's more family to you. OH SHIT DOM IS THAT YOU?! LMAO. Can't wait to see you evolve even more and I look forward to talking to you soon. Take care.

Me

2/11/2021 @158

Yo yo what it do babyyyy! Saw you just started school again. Congrats to you on starting another semester. Just getting closer and closer to that degree. If no one has told you in a while, I'm proud of you! Self love is the best love.

I can't believe you built your PC on your own btw! That shit is beautiful. Make sure you always thank Jeesh too since he helped you with everything else to get it to work! Can't wait to see the games you getta play on there.

Valentine's day is in a few days and you don't have a fucking clue what to do lmao. Welp, whatever you do, I think you'll figure it out. Do your thing homie, I gotchu always. It's okay to be down horrendous LOL. You're a loverboy in the end. SOT.

Anywho, glad to hear from you I'll talk to you soon! Take care!

Me

1/19/2021 @240

What's good big dawg just heard from you last week! Good to see you back so soon. Nothing too special going on, just enjoying the last week of winter break before going back to school for spring semester. Ayo kill that shit, easy money.

Nice to see you catching up with the old homie over some Drake and also catching up on your anime. Jujustu Kaisen went innnnn.

Anywho, good to hear from you I'll hit you up soon!

Take care,

Me

1/12/2021 @438

Yo yo! Long time no talk. Lmao rereading that last post, a lot of shit really changed. Imagine a whole post over one girl just for nothing to happen and she hasn't talked to you since that day. It fucking sucks knowing you possibly lost a really good friend and friendship. It's okay, that's just the way life goes. Keep your memories with her good and take care of those books haha. Also random but it was nice to see your old friend/prom date post that video saying she loves herself and is proud of herself. Amazing person and I'm glad your guys' paths were able to cross.

Anywho, it was a good few months that have past regardless. You're gonna be building a PC possibly this weekend so look forward to that. I know you're little "it's complicated" situation is feeling more complicated each day, but don't trip. Like the great Spike Spiegel said, "Whatever happens, happens."

No matter what you do, I got your back. Look up to the sky and thank God for another day. Stay young at heart all you want. Watch your anime and drool over waifus with the real ones, play video games with your phasma group, talk basketball with your bros, do some dope shit with your therapy/AMC family, drink some fucking OFs and sing emo shit with your fam. The world is yours.

I hope the next time we talk, it won't have to be so uplifting and shit. Maybe it'll be a simple convo. "What's good?" "Yo that drink the other week was fire." Etc.

Always here for you. Take care.

Me

9/26/2020 @516

HOO BOY. One day before her sister's wedding and you're going crazy over Wednesday's events. You don't know if you did good, did it end bad? Shit I get it. Go ahead and freak out and simp. No Simp September failed. But man, admit it. You remember the first time you saw her. In the break room. You just walked upstairs and see a group of new hires in the break room then BOOM. There see was. You stuttered when you introduced yourself to her. The rest of the faces were all blurs. You couldn't do anything though. You were in a relationship. The night you took care of her after work until she sobered up and was able to go home. All the convos at work no matter what time it was in the shifts. The books. The motherfucking books dawg. Now Jaz and C are even telling you good things and you see the pros. But with no reply since Wednesday, shit's driving you crazy. You wanna hear from her. You wanna know what's going through her mind. Some closure would forsure be good. Maybe if it works, you can work on not forgetting she doesn't eat meat anymore and y'all can grab sushi or something. I think you know what you want. Turn the page. The new chapter awaits. Or stay back and get caught up in the past. Matter of fact, fuck it close this book. You're not even happy anymore. Write a new story.

Wishing the best in how this plays out. Talk to you soon.

Me

8/11/20 @ 406

Almost been two months since we last spoke. Life is spiraling down. It's really sad literally waking up everyday feeling like you're not good enough or everything you think you did right is a crucial mistake that makes you look bad. Shit last thing you said to me was be there if she needs you. Looks like and feels like you need her more. The move felt right and look now it became a crucial mistake. Your job situation. Crucial mistake. School is somehow the only thing going stable for you right now. If you told be how basically your life would flip with the shit you've been around and you got one thing going right, I'd laughed my ass off at you and say you're exaggerating. But you know what? All it takes is one good thing to keep you going. Give that one good thing your all. I know life is hard mentally and emotionally, but you're physically still strong to push forward. That's the one thing about you. You're strong. You might not be at your best in all three, but with one at 100%, this is better than nothing. Use this to carry yourself high and spread the balance and build it back up together.

Okay it's getting late and you gotta pay for classes when you wake up. We'll talk after your first week of school. Also, Kanojo Okarishimasu/Rent-a-Girlfriend is really the one thing keeping your spirits alive rn. 151 chapters in a day. Crazy you did that but it was sick lol. You helpless/hopeless romantic you, love is there for you too. Find your Chizuru Ichinose. She may be the one, but really now with how it looks from an outside glance, it's just sad. Hope the best always.

Me

6/20/20 @0146

Well then. It’s been like 8 hours since you called it off. I know you needed to do this for yourself to better yourself, but it’s okay that you’ll be feeling sad over the next few days and weeks. Nothing wrong with it. Never forget though, neither of you are bad people. Who knows, she really might just be the one. I do want you to focus on yourself though. This is your time to grow from this and become better than you already are. I know that was very hard to do; I’m proud of you for pulling through though. Don’t forget also, you got friends and family you can rely on. You don’t need to be heartless towards her. That was your world for three and a half years. I know the love for her won’t go away ever, so continue to pray for her and her family that they’ll be good, safe, and healthy. They’re all good people. If she needs you, it’s okay to be there for her. You take care. I’ll talk to you soon.

Me

6/13/20 @0345

Yooo! Good to hear back from you after two months. Congratulations on graduating from Mt. SAC, I am so proud of you. No one will be more proud of you than me. Good luck with the summer school class before CPP.

Been a pretty okay two months for you, self improvement wise. Glad to see you taking care of your room. The gaming setup is lookin good and the chair is beautiful. Make sure you post and stream as much as you can for YouTube and Twitch. The Crunchyroll roll account was definitely a big plus too and the free Netflix trial for Avatar. Big ups to Aron, Tony and Chase forsure. We never speak about this much, but your waifu list is looking really nice haha. Shouts out Cordelia, Makoto, Tifa, Petra and Akame forever.

On a more serious topic, maaan. Your relationship looking dumb rocky. Going from driving to school together to not seeing each other the whole pandemic, even as we speak. Going from talking everyday to having to force myself to reply. I know where it went wrong and maybe I may look like the bad guy in the end, but damn maybe once I gotta take care of myself first. You know you were selfless, but fuck it. Be selfish for yourself. Right now you deserve it, just make sure to never stop giving your best to everyone. You ending this will be a big weight off your shoulders and this damn chapter in your life can finally end. Time for the next chapter, stop writing about this one, it’s done. I promise this is going to be good.

Okay homie, good talk tonight. You get some sleep, you got work in the AM with Uncle PJ. Boutta be an easy money work shift like always. Let’s talk soon! Take care.

Me