I get this question a lot:

“Do all Ricks have their own show?” Or, “why does C-137 get his own show?”

Well you little inter-dimensional discriminates, every Rick has their own show according to their dimension. Since I’m not in my own dimension and instead YOUR dimension, i don’t have my own goddamn show. Stop asking.

Hey Siri

Considering that I’m an android, I love freaking out my new Mortys by pulling my head off. Haha. Siri stop Siri stop

Nothing worse and more destructive than a sad Rick.

Where were you when the citadel got destroyed?

Every (smart) Rick knew that shit was doomed from the start. So the answer is anywhere but the fucking Citadel. I stopped working there a while back. I still got a shit tone of Morty complaints if you wanna see them.

How did you "forget the ice cream"?

Respectfully, what the fuck are you talking about

Have you ever made out with another Rick?

I nearly blocked this question.

No. No I fucking haven’t made out with another version of myself. The fact that I can touch other version of myself without imploding or ruining an alternate or parallel universe is fucking astonishing

Well..actually, maybe at a concert once

Never take anything for granted. Thought I would mess that one up, huh? Motherfucker auto correct exists. It’s 2022. The fact you thought I would make such a minuscule error like I’m not the most perfect Rick is absurd.

Also my asshole tore today

Are you evil?

Only this ripped psychich. how the fuck do you spell physic? fesec? Psych? Feseek?

do you play video games? if so, what kinds do you like? what's a video game from my universe that you like? currently, my favorite game is Halo Infinite, even though I'm not good at it <3

My nuts halo. Get it?

Apparently a lot of Ricks like Minecraft and shit. I can’t focus with games like that. Probably Roblox

Hi grandpa Rick. I’m new to this blog. Okay, have a nice day you old fart 💖

I feel bad for you

why you no post

Shut the fuck up

Some dumbass Rick rammed his ship into mine while I was buying Morty a sex doll. Motherfucker hit the wrong Rick. I’m tracking him. Will update.

What kind of Morty would create a Rick cyborg like me with feelings I can’t deactivate? A sadistic one.

Beth tells me I should respect Morty’s privacy and shit. Blah, blah, blah. I stopped listening to look if anything in my Amazon cart got discounted

Anyway, to make a long story fucking short, I need someone who can unlock phones.

Jesus, is everything okay in here? So fucking mess.I'm sure your Morty doesn't like being around a drunk like you.

——from X-1633 rick

Eat my ass

One of Morty’s little classmates asked me for permission to be with Morty. What am I? His fucking father? I’m not fucking angry. Why does my opinion matter? What am, selling him off? No, I didn’t blow up on Morty for no reason. fuck you. What’s the point of living without him?

Maybe you guys have been wondering where I’ve been. Well, I don’t have an explanation. Good night