I wish I could explain what went on in my head on a daily basis. It has been almost six weeks since I have been off my Vyvanse, and I've just about returned to my baseline impulsive, inattentive, inconsistent, labile self. It is extremely difficult for me to do anything, really. Well, unless Im doing (literally) 5-10 things at once. The only consistency present in my mind is how scattered it is. While my sleep patterns have definitely improved, as well as my weight and general health, my social skills still suffer as they did pre-medication, and my ability to plan even the simplest of tasks (such as eating) is anything but able. I crave stimulation constantly, and while Id like my stimulation to primarily come from healthy, growth-encouraging activities, all too often I find myself resorting to "get-dopamine-quick" schemes, such as instant gratification of the sexual or appetitive urges. Sometimes, Ill take an unnecessary shower just for the stimulation of hot water on my skin, or drive somewhere just to get moving. These activities are typically in opposition to what I'd really like to be doing: studying, making money, practicing a new skill for longer than 10 minutes, etc. To anyone who thinks ADHD is some whimsical personality quirck that provides an easy excuse to bad behavior, you are absolutely incorrect. Anyone who suffers from this debilitating neurological disorder will tell you that it does indeed interfere with daily living expectations, almost all aspects of career and social life, as well as personal self-esteem. Maybe one day I'll resort to stimulant meds again, but for now I guess I'll just keep trying my best, maybe tomorrow it will be good enough.

Ok I need a fruitloop now

Screaming out without a voice Leaves one with a morbid choice If we should die before we wake It will redeem our words we spake

Deny me Defy me Violate me Take every breath Take every beat Take every word Break my mind Break my body Break my pieces further please If I die before I wake, The blame will be all yours to take I let you drain me for your sake And now the peace of death partake

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.”

Robert Frost  (via slumpdump)

Got that speed so dope it ain't racemic, see thru walls other niggas need lasik, only need sleep once a week monophasic, never smokin my stock cuz I never been basic

"Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the Tree of Life, and eat, and live for ever…"

- Genesis 3:22

“Let us keep the figure of the Five-pointed Star always upright, with the topmost triangle pointing to heaven, for it is the seat of wisdom, and if the figure is reversed, perversion and evil will be the result.” 

– Franz Hartmann - Magic, White and Black. 

grindr dude: favorite book: the book of life my first thought: OMG ew get it away i hate that one

"Just because it binds, doesn't mean its doing anything. Shit sticks to the bottom of your foot, it doesn't mean it has receptors on it"

MRes Brain Sciences, University College London.

Circa 1983

Blood Moon (Lunar Eclipse) Photo’s I took at aprox 10:15pm EST 8/10/2014