[pm] Sure, sure. Makes sense. Give it some zing, yeah? […] I’m sure he’s moved some, but his eyes mostly. They keep changing. Like they’re following me.

@rhythmicmeow [pm] Really? Has it always been like that? [del: that would have been so cool to see at Halloween] Well, I had a strange experience with a cardboard cut out before and I don’t know if it’s actually haunted or if I’m just too far into my head about it. But either it’s happening again or I’m losing it.

[pm] Yup! Haunted adds to the flavor or whatever. Also being a medium means they just want to hang around - Oh? What exactly is happening. Does it seem to be moving a lot?

[pm] This is why you’re not going to the shop with me. I said no. I want the other one.

You’re right, I don’t. But neither do you. Like how she feels about this — which for the record, I don’t either. But it’s a disservice to her to leave her in the dark about feelings that involve her. [...] I don’t know what you want me to say.

[…] It’s been three months, Mateo.

[pm] I'm getting it anyway. It's prettier than the name. Wait, another? Please give me more details.

Leti, you don't know everything. And you're not even considering the fact that I'm undead. She doesn't even suspect, so I'm damn sure she doesn't know about the supernatural. So no, it's not just about being a bad person.

Not a Rick Astley joke. That one chick with the big muscles you look at.

[pm] I am so sorry. For the smell and for how bad the smell must have been. [User takes a moment and processes.] Weeks? What happened? You two turn into drinking buddies while I was away? I hope you didn’t have to pay his tab, he’s expensive company. [User is hopeful this is the answer but she has a sinking feeling something happened.] […] 3am zoomies, maybe. But that’s between you, me, and the chores that I get done at that time. I don’t want to hear any shit from Emilio— Also make sure you put your glasses in the sink. I knocked one over earlier. Totally on accident.

Okay, okay. I still want to do something for you, though. So you’re wishing a goo floor on me. I heard that was bad news though, Teagan said she got stuck? What the hell even is this town? That’s the spirit! Don’t worry, I’ll tell you the second I find out. Especially if it’s a weird reason. We suffer together :)

[pm] Yeah, I know. I slept on it for a couple of weeks [...] not sure how I survived. That was a joke, but still. He needs a new one, something nicer. Something that doesn't smell like garbage. Good, I'm glad. That's a [...] really funny image. Does that happen to you? The zoomies, I mean. I'm not even sure. I'm sure some people do, but I'm not one of them. They don't smell good, either.

You're not, and there's no favor to repay. I'm doing this because I want to. I did scrub his floor clean, but then the goo took over, so who knows what it looks like now. You know, I'm really not sure. I've been out of the loop where all of that is concerned, but I'm sure I'll learn against my will soon enough.

[pm] People do like scars. Kinda weird, but I get it too. Has that sense of danger around it that you survived. [User wonders if her scars look good.] I hope I don't, haha-

I wonder if the stuff Andy bought me him is still any good, I’ll have to check it out. […] You don’t have anyone you want to send it to?

[pm] Oh, yeah, I'm all good! All recovered. Nothing left but a scar now. Which is fine! People like scars. That's what they say on TV, anyway. 'Scars are sexy' or whatever, haha! But I hope you can catch up with him.

That's probably true. Penelope's a big fan of the catnip. So am I. We'll send your mom a Christmas card, then. And all your friends. I can put a copy on my fridge!

But it would be good for your heart. Good music and goats!

Understandable, I didn't have one until recently. I moved around too much and didn't want to stress an animal like that. It was hard enough on me, ya know? But now I have split custody of a stray with my neighbor. So there's always some hope!

It would be adorable. I'd be in more than once a week if there were one. But now I'm thinking it might also be bad for my wallet.

I don't have any animals, sadly. I can barely take care of myself, I don't think I should be in charge of a cuddly house pet. I always feel bad looking into an animals eyes now

I hate you. [...] I still feel like you're lying just to save face. I feel like I know the answer to this but... do you even know how to cook? Did you taste this cake? Did you put soap in it? [...] Nevermind, I am going to talk to Teddy instead, they're way cooler than you. I bet they'd help me set this up too, dumbass- Do you have any cute pictures of Pascal or am I wasting my time talking to you?

I've already told you no thank you. [user glares at his screen.] I do not eat soap. That's Rhett. And I'm helping him give it up. I gave him cake, I'm doing my part. [...] Well, the joke's on you. I live with Teddy right now. So does the dog. You want to drive them out of their own home? Teddy? They're nice. They do things like let people borrow socks and make hot chocolate, and you want to chase them out of their home and into the cold?

[in Spanish] You know what? Explaining comics to you will probably make me cry, but I can make you watch the movies :) and the TV series! The 90s one is my favorite. Clear up your weekend, you've got X-Men plans. [...] Are they in the room with us now? I hate that you don't know memes. Learn memes. [...] Wow, let me call the papers! Huge news! Emilio is not white!! Dude, white lies are not from white people.

[in spanish] It's mean to mention something and not explain it. You're being very rude right now. Maybe you deserve to have a headache for being rude. [...] No, I think you're the only one annoyed. Everyone else finds me very charming. [...] Leticia, I'm not white.

[pm] Wigs are an option though, if you did want to mess around. But that shit always made me sweaty on stage. I don't know how people can wear those all the time. Maybe it was just the stage lights actually but-

I know that feeling, I really do. The people from the past, we were exclusive, but maybe for a week before they dropped me. Don't know why I kept trying, people never- But I think you should talk to them regardless. Worst case, you are just fun for the moment, but then you know and you can put your heart to rest. What do you mean 'something bad'?

Okay, okay. Well, if you want to talk about it and the breakfast they make you, I am here.

[pm] Thank you. I am a fan of my hair as-is, if I'm honest. I suppose I'll keep it this way, and try to not let you turn me too gray.

I've never been exclusive, but [...] maybe? I don't love the idea that they might be sleeping with other people. I mean, they deserve to! Obviously! But like, what if I'm not worth it? I might not be [...] good enough for them. I'm just fun. I'm not a girlfriend. Plus what if something bad happens?

That's fair. But I still don't know. Yes, you do Why? I don't know everyone you know. Plus, I think I'm just a fun time for them. Maybe. They do make me breakfast sometimes.

Well, depending on how you feel about hanging things up on your walls, the artwork makes for great decoration. I'll bring down the rest of the selection then! I am sorta testing out carrying CDs in the store, they haven't been as big in the last few years, because, well, streaming. Internet changed a lot of things, not all bad, just very different. […] You’re one of the people who jumped on that ABBA post right? I think I might actually have a CD in the back. Mint condition too :)

I know what you mean, I just don't have a record player or much storage for vinyls. I'll definitely check out the CDs though! I used to listen to those a lot, probably still have some back at my folks' house too! I guess the internet age has really changed things, huh? But I agree, goats are a fantastic selling point.

“Grief will come to you. Grip and cling all you want, It makes no difference. Catastrophe? It’s just waiting to happen. Loss? You can be certain of it. Flow and swirl of the world. Carried along as if by a dark current. All you can do is keep swimming; All you can do is keep singing.”

— Gregory Orr, from How Beautiful the Beloved

Hey, fuck you. I smell like Andy's laundry detergent. It's very nice. Cat friendly. [User realizes this is public.] I don't think the guy who eats soap gets to criticize my cleaning habits. [...] [...] [...] I am going to feed your dog popcorn so he has the worst night farts you have ever had to deal with. You're going to have to leave the entire building to get away from the smell. You will never know peace again.

No, I think I already smell very good. Better than you, though this is not saying much because you smell very bad. [...] Leticia, if you didn't want me to tell people you fuck cardboard, you should have told me. I didn't know it was a secret. I didn't know you didn't want people to know about it. I was trying to support you and your love. I didn't know this was wrong. [...] Because your league is cardboard?

[in Spanish] I just said I was not going to explain it. You're going to give me a headache and I know it because either you really won't understand or you'll pretend to not understand just to piss me off and I am resting. [...] To you. It's not annoying to you. Everyone else though... [...] You know there are these things called white lies. You could tell me one of those just to make me feel a little better. :(

[in spanish] What the fuck is X-Men? What does the X mean? Nothing starts with X. [...] No. It's not annoying when I do it. It's annoying when you do it. [...] I wanted to give you a fair answer, Leticia. I wouldn't lie to you, would I?

I don't want any pics. You send me your feet and I am blocking you. There should be a list for that, unsolicited feet pics. If there isn't, I'll make one. You'll be the first one on the list, don't test me. You said there was a right and wrong answer! I remember! [...] How many accounts do you have? How much time? Sherb is also so cute. Coco, too. She's the sweetest. They don't. [User has no idea, actually.] But did you ever find a place that had decent fries around here? With no salt?

Some people need to be stifled.

There's no shame <3 YKINMK And all that. I will not be sending you any pics, though. Be warned. Do you think I'd lie? I never lie. I saiddd I also love crispy fries. But I could never fake my love for the soggy. Keep me updated will ya! Oh, that's just me upvoting him all night. I love to see Sherb getting the love <3333 Barold! That's exactly the one I was gonna mention. The little freak. I think your friend has excellent opinions. I bet they love soggy fries too.

And that someone will be welcome to do so, Cheese. Let's not stifle people's creative process.

[pm] The first one sounds terrifying, don't do that. Second one yes, third one sounds fun. Fuck off with the catnip, I don't need another public incident.

You're gassing yourself up as the worst person imaginable to be involved with. If you were, I wouldn't have given you the time of day at the store. [...] Girls say that all the time, especially with guys only looking for hookups (YOU. I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.) Because even if maybe they want more, you've drawn a pretty hard line in the ground with the relationship thing. You are being rude. Just because you don't agree, doesn't make it untrue. Just like everything else I said.

If this is a joke about Rick Astley I am going to fire you.

Yeah, my dad- They always- I miss-

[pm] A rattlesnake plant, peperomia ginny, and probably a bird's nest fern. I would like to get natural catnip cause you would be acting funny all the time.

I'm not throwing a pity party. I know she's amazing, Leti. I'm just [...] not. I try to be by helping her sleep and cooking for her, but I'm not a good guy. I do bad shit. Really bad shit. And she doesn't even know that I'm dead. Besides, she keeps saying she likes being my friend and shit. A lot. So she likes being friends and that's that. And it's fine. I'm not being rude anyway. You're the one teasing me.

With that red-head? But I get what you mean. My dad is head over heels for my mom. Will literally dance in the kitchen with her randomly. Sometimes I try to with Xóc

[pm] Are you okay? I mean, I know it's been months but like, you've recovered well? I don't think he lives in- I hope he doesn't live in- Don't worry about it! :) I'm sure I'll find him sooner or later, I'm not worried about it. Haha.

I think if we come armed with enough treats and catnip he won't care at all! I think my mom would say it was a waste of money while also spoiling Simon, so she'll love it. But I think my friends would love them too. I am going to have it in my wallet and be SO annoying about it.

[pm] Oh, yeah, I was kind of [...] laid up around that time, I think, haha. I had an accident at work at the end of August. I don't remember seeing anyone around, but I wasn't leaving the apartment much, really. Does he live in town? I could keep an eye out for him around the area! I've been doing a lot of odd jobs lately, so I see all kinds of people.

Oh, I think she'd hate us if we put them on her... but I really want to try. Do you think your [...] family would like it?

[pm] Oh. Well, okay then. What kind of plants would you pick?

No, no, you can't just put it back in the bag and pretend like nothing happened. She's [...] great. In a thousand different ways and one of four people who met me and didn't hang out with me to get something from me, you know? I've never doubted her intentions with our friendship. She's amazing. You both are. So get your head out of your ass and maybe do something instead of throwing a pity party and calling me rude. I just got back, you're being rude!

Not sure. I mean I thought I saw a flicker of something but then I fucking vanished for three months. [...] I want what my parents had, you know?

[pm] I do, actually. I know a lot about plants.

Okay, whatever. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. It's not It's stupid. The mom thing I'll just miss the chance entirely. Better that way. She doesn't get fucked over and you'll stop being rude.

Stupid shit. Good riddance. You'll find better now if that's what you want.

[pm] Oh, you could go full platinum if you wanted with some professional help. But also, don't. Your hair looks amazing the way it is and I've seen too many horror stories. My hair was shredded when I got those bright red highlights.

If you stopped hooking up with other people do you think you'd be happy being exclusive with them? Maybe that's the first step to sort out how you feel, maybe don't demand exclusivity right away, especially if you're not entirely sure?

Dating people doesn't have any past requirements, Xo. Someone is going to be your first. And if you put as much effort into this relationship as you do overthinking this, then I'm sure you'll be fine. Is it Mate- Mateo said that you two- Is this anyone I know?

[pm] Hair dye works. Plus, maybe I'd look hot with gray hair.

Um. Yes. That, exactly. They're nice and sort of my type, but not totally what I'd have expected. I don't even know if if it was a friends with benefits. Mostly the benefits. But I [...] like staying over with them, and also if and when they make me breakfast in the morning.

I am still sleeping with a number of other people, but if they invite me over, it's so nice. Also I've never properly dated anyone. They're deserving of better than that.