Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

Spock is the fakest hoe in Star Trek. That guy has cried in every single movie. Get out of here with that vulcans don’t have emotions bullshit. You aint fooling nobody, you sensitive fuck

stop holding ya pee for so damn long

would die for a fresh hot corn on the cob rn

we shpuld make a tumblr bar with drinks like sonic screwdriver and the baker street mule

MY PARENTS ARE TAKING ME TO DASHCON AS MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT! AHHH

*loudly sings it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas*

No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

it’s the parley room…the parlor room? the parley parlor.

Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

So no one told you life was gonna be this way *Phantom of the Opera overture*

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

I just followed you but now that you said you think Spider-Man is bi I think I gotta unfollow sorry

this is so funny what did you expect me to say. did u not read my url when u followed