release-the-sheep
why can't we dance on moonbeams?
functioning adult (hah funny. but yeah I'm 26), unflinching optimist, shameless idealist, unapologetic fool, bad at feelings, good at hugs (allegedly).
call me sheep - whatever gotdamn pronouns you wanna use - white - bi - nb butch - canada
if you need anything tagged, please don't hesitate to let me know. also for the record I have caved and put my age up top but I do feel as though saying I'm not a minor should be enough. you can respectfully tell me why you feel differently, if you do
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I have found the best ally
Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.
Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Sai?"
Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."
My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."
Random woman: "Excuse me?"
Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*
Me: *pissing myself laughing*
My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Sai, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."
Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."
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any knight born after 1200 can’t achieve the holy grail, all they know is feasting, charge their horse, kill, have affair, go mad in the forest & cry
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I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.
My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love
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Internet mobs will be like "why doesnt anyone just ADMIT when theyre WRONG anymore??!!" and then treat someone like they deserve the death penalty because they said something off-colour on twitter when they were 14
No one will admit that they were wrong if you treat being wrong like its an eternal indictment against them with no chance for rehabilitation
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The Sleeping Beauty, illustrated by Christian Birmingham
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this is legitimately the funniest thing ive seen all day
#there is no 'push' to preserve language purity they do this all the time#they always have. they always will.#l'académie is eternal and very very stubborn#also this is very funny
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its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea
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Lesbian sex was invented as a way to pass the time on long train rides
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I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist
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today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.
but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.
the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.
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No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.
I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—
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Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"
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The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes
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I am, like, a long running proponent of the "eat something and you'll feel better" crowd and am often one of the first people to suggest "maybe it's time for a snack before I get whipped into a frenzy" but I really do resent how instantaneous it is. like it'll feel like I'm having my worst day in months and then I'll start eating and literally before I even finish I'm like oh yeah the world is beautiful
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