my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

Do you know nothing about the wider homeschooling community beyond your own personal anecdotes? Because you sure are acting like it.

Anyway, I've seen some rancid takes about this topic recently so here's a reminder that the homeschooler that's socially isolated and basically in a cult and was never taught science because Jesus said no is so rare that it's functionally a myth to make people against the idea of homeschooling in theory

most unexpected tea of the album is that jake isn’t an organ donor and openly shares that as a flirting strategy

reblog for sample size !!

reblog for sample size !!

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

im so happy i made all the correct choices that led to us meeting

tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like

“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”

and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent

"Oh, I'm so sorry for offering you fishsticks, Shelly. I guess I should have realized you wouldn't want to eat a species with whom you share half your DNA."

"What? That's not the problem."

"But you just said you didn't want to eat the....oh. Should I be scared?"

"Considering the fact that you killed my best friend Mr. Flippers for this offering? Yeah."

thinking about how mermaids would not be offended if you offered them shellfish because they are, infact, part of the marine ecosystem in which fish do feed on other fish/sea life. Mermaids would love sea food, its the only food they have access too. You think they're all vegetarians only eating seaweed? No way, they're half human. I just know they're snacking on shrimp and oysters.

okay but “my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree, d-y-i-n-g” becomes even more devastating when you consider what comes right after the portion of the children’s nursery rhyme taylor modified: “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage”

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

@scholarlypidgeot

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

before the poll, a quick definition of terms:

"mutual" - you found this post from a mutual (on their blog or your dash) "following" - you found this post from someone you're following, but who isn't following you "random" - you found this by scrolling through someone's blog, who you don't follow. this includes people following you "For You" - you found this on the For You page "recommended" - you found this in a "Check out these blogs" popup, or a "recommended" post when looking at a different post "other" - you found this post some other way. comment how? "reblog ✅" - you're going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post "reblog ❌" - you're NOT going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post

with that out of the way:

eXCUSE ME???????????????????????