My Gramma Lu...and some Midnight Musings

I miss my Gramma Lu. I miss her little house on the prairie. I miss the memories I had there, growing up. I miss watering flowers, washing her car and exploring the property she lived on. I miss her smell. I even miss her funky old sofa bed, which she ALWAYS called a davenport. I miss how she always asked if we wanted creamed corn or how she'd make me fried spam or even bologna sandwiches. She ALWAYS had cookies and candy and she'd give me her last dollar if I asked for it...even if I was being a total brat and/or she did not have it to spare.

She was a true lady. She would ALWAYS try to make everyone around her as comfortable as possible. She'd obsess over people, asking if you were warm or cool enough or hungry or thirsty and proceeding to tend to your need, whatever it may have been. She would let me, a child, pick the radio station in the car. She'd sing along to songs she didn't understand by artists that she thought were terrible and not by any means honoring what she knew to be music.

She let me drive her car when I was eight years old...on the back roads near her house. She trusted me that much.

She kept a secret barbie stash hidden from my mother, just between her and my sister, until someone FINALLY gave me a barbie for my 11th or 12th birthday and then the whole stash of clothes and doll and such was bequeathed to me as my sister was too old to enjoy it anymore, but it still resided at her house. I was shocked that it had been kept a secret that long and that I had spent that much time and that many nights at her house and had never known of its existence.

She could play the piano wonderfully, even though she didn't think so anymore, because arthritis had taken over her hands and she would constantly comment on how she thought they were ugly and less than functional, telling me of the amazing things that she used to be able to do.

She ADORED Elvis....especially his Gospel music.

She would curse on a Sunday morning on the way to church, when she drove by the dairy and their manure gun wasn't quite aimed well enough and would "...get cow s#it all over..." her car that she had just washed the day before, because keeping up appearances was a must.

She LOVED her flowers. She'd spend so much time watering and nurturing them...and moving the potted ones inside every night and outside every morning.

I wish I had her plastic rain bonnets that she used to wear to protect her hair, because they were brilliant.

I miss doing pin curls for her on a Saturday during times when she couldn't afford the time or money to get into the salon for a permanent...never just a perm, she always called it a permanent.

I'm STILL sorry for the time she let me use one of her fancy glasses/stemware and despite her repeated requests that I be careful, I thought I was being funny and messed around and totally broke it...it looked TOTALLY intentional but was a complete accident. I was mortified. I know she forgave me and that it was around 24 ish years ago now, but it STILL bothers me that I hurt and disrespected her.

She was SO talented and special and loving and kind and giving...she would make the most funny and witty jokes. She could get red wine stains out of the church's communion linens and restore them to their white as snow status again, each week. She used a vernacular that is all but extinct now. She was a "crazy old bat" and the first one to admit it. A real and true kick in the pants. She would call me that and tell me that my grandfather would have thought I was, " a kick in the pants." She was STRONG and SO independent, yet humble and wise enough to admit to needing it and accept help when that time arose. I MISS her. 14 years later and I miss her so badly.

She passed just after I turned 18. I wish I had had more time. I wish I had asked more questions. I wish I had listened more carefully. I love you, Gramma Lu. Thank you for being the best gramma EVER to me.

My one and only biological and amazing grandmother that was alive to know, love, spoil and even spank me.

She was all of the things. She was magical. She never let you forget who Jesus was or how much He meant to her. And she was never afraid to die...even as her body slowly gave up the fight, though her mind was still as feisty as ever....because she looked forward to "...reclining on the breast of Jesus..." as she would say.

So in times like these, when I sit and remember what an amazing human she was, thinking about all that she experienced and trudged through in life whether it was joyful, tragic or just normal...that's how I imagine her...reclined on the breast of Jesus, waiting for us to come join her and the rest of our family and friends.

I'm blessed that God has given me the life He has and I will walk this path as long as He sees fit....but being one day closer to seeing her(and many others) again, brings me great joy. A joy that is indescribable and yet, so painful at the same time.

I heard this quote a long time ago and it still rings true in my heart...."we are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey."

This human journey (for those of you that are still reading, haha, thanks for hanging in) it's HARD and so scary and extremely exciting and beyond amazing and terribly sad at times. It can be any and all of those things. And so many people become overwhelmed with their emotions and do things to numb or tune them out or even worse, shut them off, by choosing to end their human journey.

But this human journey....it's magical. And these feelings we've been given...they are magical...even when uncomfortable, they are magical. So friends, when you are having trouble along your journey, remember that it is only temporary...even if it seems like forever...it isn't. Just hold on, push through and get to the other side of whatever you're walking through...you'll see. You are loved.

Thanks for reading my emotional, existential and somewhat religious midnight musings.

✌, 💕 and 💫, y'all.

Essential Oils truth bomb

I've been seeing and hearing a lot of things about this in the 2 + years I've been using Young Living essential oils. I just wanna make a couple of things clear. There is some scary stuff out there, people. Knowing about the products you're using and the companies that make them, no matter what they're for, is your only guarantee of protection. Know WHAT you're buying and more importantly, WHO you're buying it from!!!!! Firstly, there are almost no regulations on quality and purity of Essential Oils. After doing some research, I chose to use Young Living products because they openly provide 100% disclosure on the quality and purity of their products. They OWN all of their farms, running the entire process from seed going in the ground, to seal going on the bottle and they invite you to come and see every step of the process. There are ZERO solvents or additives (except carrier oils which are always disclosed on the label) and they only market the oil from the first and most potent distillation. Second, Young Living products are NOT available on Amazon or any other discount site. If you see them on amazon or other sites, that is an individual person or vendor selling them in a way that is most likely unlawful. Purchasing from anyone but a Young Living distributor and therefore the company itself, takes away any guarantee of customer service or quality and protection. The customer service and quality I have personally experienced is unsurpassed. When you purchase from a distributor, typically you make your own account, so you're actually purchasing directly from the company itself! Now THAT'S a guarantee. I wanted to post this because often in the world of essential oils, people don't know that what they're using is actually chemical garbage, because they don't have access to or haven't yet discovered the truth! I was one of them! I used disgusting stuff that I had no idea where it was grown, distilled or bottled...some company purchased it and put their label on it. 😝 In short, this is not just true for essential oils...but I'd love to explain in greater detail if anyone has questions. 😆 #YoungLiving #truthbomb #essentialoils #thegoodoils #lemondropper #onlythebest #themoreyouknow #revOILution #lmt #massagetherapist www.muscle-maintenance-massage.com/young-living-essential-oils

Blessed

I am lucky enough to know what I am good at. I am even more lucky, because it brings me extreme joy each day! My life is one big gift. Whether I am being given an opportunity to learn and grow, or I am being blessed beyond measure...which sometimes end up being the same thing...I see the divine orchestration behind each millisecond of my life. That in itself is a blessing. I am so thankful for, enriched and strengthened by this life I've been given...each and every detail of it. Small things matter, so do big things. Don't forget to open your eyes. In the words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and take a look around once in a while, you might miss it."  Well folks, from what I've observed, a lot of us are missing it. I am thankful, because life is wonderfully hard. Practice graciousness. You know, forgive others, rather than pay back their mistreatments with the same. It's hard to look inside yourself when you feel hurt by another, but very strengthening, in its own right. I am thankful for the grace I have been shown, and it makes me realize that I am not as quick to give grace, as I am to need it...interesting. I feel lucky to have all of these thoughts and ideas, but in all reality...luck has not a thing to do with any of it.