8.6.20

t,

Remember that part in grey’s where terrible Izzie is talking to Denny right before she’s going to cut his LVAD wire and he’s telling her he’ll be fine and she goes “What about me? I get it, you’ll be okay, you’ll be fine - but what about me?” This is the stupid quote I’ve been thinking of all day ever since you told me you were going to leave NYC. And here’s the thing, you’ve been mentioning this for awhile, we had a whole conversation about it basically 2 days ago but for some reason, when we spoke this morning it really hit me that you’re actually leaving and I lost it. I’m still losing it. Hopefully in a month from now I’m a way calmer person who doesn’t get upset over things like spoiled oat milk but I’m a cancer and all my feelings are spilling out. 

I’ve been trying to think of how I could tell you how much you being here has meant to me, over the past 2 years but also over the past 15 years, and the only thing I could think of is to go back to the beginning - and since our friendship started through Myspace + Facebook, I thought it’d be a fitting tribute to our time in NYC together to try to write it all down and give you something to look back at. You’re obviously not getting rid of me and this friendship is far from over but with you leaving, it is the end of a chapter of it, and you know I am not good with endings so hopefully I can prolong this as long as possible. 

xo, k