한사람을 잊고 다른사람을 만날거야. 그때만나는사람은 가장좋아하는것보다 날 더좋아해주는사람이었으면 좋곘어. 봐, 헤어지는게 맞다니까?

알아, 저 남자는 좋은 남자가 아니야. 제멋대로야

아무렇지도않게 약속을 어기고 저 남자는 좋은 남자가 아니야 툭하면 화를내고 거짓말도 했어.

저 남자를 좋아하면 안되는 이유는 수만가지야. 그중에서 제일 나쁜건 내가 원하는것 날 좋아해주지 않는다는거. 그 사람을 좋아해도 되는 이유는... 딱한가지 그건바로 너무 좋아하니까.

The different thing about love is that it can be both source of happiness and pain at the same time. It can be the thing that bright up your life or darken it. Love puts us in situations where we have to choose between our heart and mind, what a hard choice to make, specially when the person we love is not valuing what we are giving them, not valuing our feelings toward them,and just when it reach the point where we are being ignored, disrespected and betrayed, choosing to follow our mind could be the solution to such a matter. But this choice might be the thing that turn the happy love moments into painful life. The question is, if it’s the right choice why it hurt us? if it’s the thing that is supposed to make us feel better because we are no longer getting hurt by being ignored, disrespected and betrayed, why doesn’t it makes us feel better then? Would choosing our heart makes us feel better? Are we getting hurt because of losing the person that we thought is our love? Or because we wasted too much time of our life with the wrong person?

🧡

If you are reading this it is because everything worked out for me (or almost did).

I don't know if I should start by apologizing or thanking. The truth is that I have written so many times and nothing seems good enough to justify my attitude.

There are many things I would like to say, but the words don't come out and my thoughts suffocate me.

I know that I will receive many judgments, but I would like to clarify that I tried to continue to live anyway, but these attempts have become a burden for me, because I no longer have the pleasure of living, I never had and perhaps never will. I am not a weak person as I thought I was, whenever I thought of giving up on myself I struggled with all my strength to continue and try to enter a reason to live, and in that journey I found some.

What happens is that now all I want is to stop fighting, because I don't have the strength and the reasons seem insufficient now. Everything has become exhausting and I would like to rest after so many failed attempts to seek continuous and true happiness. All of my smiles and "joy" moments seemed superficial in some moments, but I was truly happy in some other moments, because I was with people I loved.

I wish that their love would be able to save me, but it wasn't. Maybe the problem is me. The problem is actually me.

I'm sorry for not being enough, I'm sorry for causing bad feelings in the people I loved, but I don't want to talk about it because it's past and now there's no going back.

In a few words that I have left, I would just like to thank the people I love for making me live a little longer, for trying to live a little longer and for making me try to dream a little more. At the same time I would like to apologize for losing my strength now ...

All the moments I spent in all my 17 years of life were important to become who I am today, and despite so many traumas and bad moments, you made me have wonderfully unforgettable moments and I will take these memories with me no matter where I am .

Finally, I would like to quote my favorite quote from my favorite book: "We are infinite."

I love you and thanks for everything.

[ If I become a star, remember me smiling...]