To literally no one's surprise I fell off the wagon again and am right back up to 207 (probably 210 after the last two days -gag-) I made and ate an entire tray of brownies over the course of today. 3000 calories by itself. I have got to stop doing this. Easter is tomorrow so it'll be hard but I have GOT to stop this, NOW. I was supposed to be back in onderland a full-ass MONTH ago..!

been stuck at 204/205 all week and I'm mad about it. stress from work sucking isn't helping.

203..8 this morning I slipped and ordered a bunch of stuff from nuts.com yesterday; some of it is a thank you gift for a neighbor that picked up some medicine and stuff for me when I had covid. Ate a whole bag of smores snack mix which...yikes. My body let me know it didn't appreciate that. I had a few of the PB M&Ms as well but I am a bit proud of myself for throwing the majority of that bag out. Back to basics tomorrow. I feel disgusting. It's amazing how fast your body starts to appreciate and expect healthier foods.

day one or one day... 🤍

204 on the dot today; there's that drop! This ended up being a travel day. Found a cozy little sushi place next to the shop I was helping out and had lunch there. It was AMAZING. The waitress was kinda stand-offish at first but she brightened up at some point--maybe cuz I made an effort to use the chopsticks? lol

I got a sushi roll combo. I did my best to track that and it came out to around 800? Don't know how accurate that is but hopefully I'm still in my budget. Outside of lunch, I had coffee w/cream for "breakfast" (didn't even finish it), and when I got home I cooked up some egg white with one sausage link and sprinkled a small amount of cheese and salsa on it for a light dinner.

Best case scenario, I'm under 1000 calories for the whole day. Worst case, maybe 1500? Either way I think I did pretty good. And that sushi was delicious, AND filling. That's definitely gonna be my go-to place for lunch when I'm in that area.

And here's the first stall at 205.4, I guess. FML. Red week was ending and I was peeing so much yesterday as a result of that, and I stayed in my calorie budget--I honestly expected a drop of some kind. Instead the scale didn't move. So frustrated. Hungry, cold, and frustrated. Makes me want comfort food but damn it all, I'm not caving to that.

It's Monday, you said you'll start today. So have you started yet? Go on now, eat those veggies and do that workout, girl!

I went to this e-sport thing last night to compete. I had fun, even placed, but the venue took some photos to post on their twitter and there's one of the table and it's a direct side profile of me with my face tilted downward looking at my switch and I'm absolutely horrified at how bad I actually look. Like...I don't have a jawline. It's just face > neck

I'm so disgusted with myself rn x_x I knew it was bad by how my clothes fit but I think I was in denial about just how much it had affected my overall appearance.

205.4 as of this morning. A little ahead of the estimated schedule I got from losertown dot org's calculator, but I know it'll slow down eventually.

A fresh snack 🍅🥕🥒

Scrambled eggs, sharp cheddar, blue cheese, hard parmesan and a side of orange bell pepper sticks, plum tomatoes and red onion 🍳🧀🥗

Be a go getter, not a quitter

206.6 as of this morning Had a breakthrough on a tough case at work Friday; wanted to celebrate with food. Settled for the cauliflower crust buffalo pizza I'd added to my WalMart delivery order on a whim (y'all, don't judge me--they're more consistent than instacart ever dreamed of being, and ordering grocery delivery just makes my flying solo life a little bit easier, so that's what I've been doing).

It was actually surprisingly good? And only a bit under 800 calories for the whole thing. So with that as my dinner and my usual 2 eggs + 3 sausage links for brunch (320 calories), I think I did pretty well. Today was also good. I got a bag of frozen diced chicken breast with my grocery order as well so it's now way easier for me to toss a bit of protein in with whatever vegetable I'm cooking on the stovetop. Had chicken and broccoli for lunch. For dinner I had a portabella cap with 2 slices of bacon and spinach. Some air popped popcorn as a snack. And 2 cups of coffee over the day with cream. A bit shocked the scale went down because red week graced me with its arrival (early, again. This sucks). But hey, I'll take it.

208 on the dot, today. Ugh. I need it to warm up and for the days to get longer so I can go outside and walk for hours like I did a couple years ago. Or splurge on a good quality bicycle like I've been wanting to do and just ride all over town. I *loved* riding my bike when I was a kid, and there's some great places to ride around where I live now. Would be a great option to go blow off steam when work gets to be too much, as well. I would feel way better about myself if I could just get back to onederland and stay there. I'm so mad at myself that after all these years I ended up above 200 and haven't been able to get back under it since (going on 1.5-2 years, I think). I'm sure age is a factor (I'm possibly in perimenopause x_x ). I'm sure going from being a janitor where I was active most of the day to sitting at a desk all the time is a factor. I gotta get my rear in gear regardless, I hate how bloated my face looks at this weight and how uncomfortable my clothes are. On days that I'm home I've been trying to stick to whole foods. Frozen veg, eggs, bacon, lean proteins like fish and chicken, air popped popcorn, etc. I do usually have a bag of those frozen heat and serve sausages in the freezer as a quicker option... Really big on portabella mushroom caps right now. On days that I'm on the road for work I'm trying to OMAD lunch (I get to eat on the company's dime when I'm traveling; not only do I want to take advantage of that for myself financially but I like to try to support small local restaurants with that perk as well). We're only a week in, let's see if I can stick with this plan.

Reminder ~

If you start the next week, by the end of the March you will be dieting for 12 weeks. And in 12 weeks you can lose more than 10 kg / 22 lbs.

Just because you binged on the beginning of January it doesn't give you the excuse to binge for the rest of the month.

Get your shit together, before summer arrives!