Important safety information about the eclipse on Monday

You *can* remove the eclipse glasses during totality; not before or after.

If you find yourself falling apart instead of falling in love, turn around, bright eyes.

It is no longer considered best practice to cut the beating heart out of a human chest at the top of a pyramid to bring the sun back; nowadays, they just short out a LUCAS device.

If you are imprisoned by an evil bishop, break out, and look for a hawk and a wolf who are in love.

Most critically - No matter what, do not buy any strange and exotic plants which mysteriously appear during the eclipse.

reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a fucking break

“How does God account for abandoned churches? Do people just stop believing, stop caring, and move on? Or does he see them as something no longer fit for purpose. All I know is that God isn’t here anymore.” sounds like something fucking hunter s thomspon would right, but nah, it’s from a surreal youtube video about mickey mouse being a war criminal

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

POV: you step outside of 79s to get some air but accidentally startle the trooper in the alley trippin on space mushrooms and death stick dust and he takes off like a feral cat on crack

interesting how transmascs & transfems alike think losing weight is the answer to pass as our chosen gender.... almost as if fat people are never Truly afforded a passing gender regardless of trans status. as fat people we are never Truly seen as Men or Women. anyway fuck that notion & if u think u need to lose weight to pass that's the devil talking

“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”

Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.

guy tries to toss a cigarette on the ground but the ground parries it and it flies back into his mouth and he solemnly continues to smoke it

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD

my girls <3

The Dark Game Awards. We have categories

Biggest day 1 patch

This probably could have been a movie

Proof that indie games aren't inherently more artistic

Most playable asset flip

Most gambling addicts created

Always resharing when it comes up

when all the years of thugging it out finally catch up to me