raruartoo
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so i dont crowd my main with fEELINNGGGSSS
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no matter how loud i scream no one seems to hear
but its okay i think
i dont think anyone actually understands what it’s like to be inside my brain
though perhaps similar experiences never the same
those small changes make the brain different
i’m smart but emotions get in the way
what were to happen if i just.... erased them?
erasing emotions is totally a good idea
you dont need your humanity anyway
who needs to keep their likeable traits anyway
who cares if you fake every outside expression anyway
you are indeed happy
but also somehow apathetic
absense of emotions yet all at once
i dont think im apathetic just so emotional to the point of numbness
i’m really lonely you know...
someone please listen to me for once
without looking uncomfortable
please just listen i need you to listen i need you to listen i need you to listen
not even my psycologist actually listens to me
NO ONE LISTENS TO ME
no one understand that i know myself well enough to understand what i am comfortable with
YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE WHO I AM ASSHOLE
i dont care what you think of my i just want someone listen.. anyone
as immature as i might be i still feel things like you do
why cant you reat me like an equal for once
even just once will suffice
or at least let me know you care.... i just want someone to care.
im not someones number one anymore, not even number two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... im nobody
nobody cares me for me like i care for others do they?
nobody cares about sad little zachary
and dont fucking lie to me, i know when someone’s lying.
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havent had a lot of gross intrusive thoughts recently nor dangerous ones so uhh!!! fuck yeah :)
i’ve been listening to a lot of cavetown and going out and doing stuff with my friends. it’s been really cool… this is the happiest i’ve been in, probably years, despite it being accompanied by a lingering numbness i think thats okay. the numbness is from being in a toxic relationship for over a year and now the person being totally absent, i just miss someone that close even if they were toxic i guess.
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got pierced lads
helix piercing
no thoughts only good vibes
schools out im sleeping for 13 hours a day
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