what you say about amber heard and how her bisexuality being a huge factor in depp's abuse towards her touches me because that's exactly how i feel about this situation. i've been avoiding this case HARD because i know people only care about her under this foggy vague "omg poor woman tee heh i hate men" concern trolling but we all know how they truly feel about seeing a bi woman being abused by a man, and a straight one on top of that. when the marilyn manson/evan rachel wood abuse case started circling radblr a couple of years ago, a gay blogger said he'd love nothing more than to punch the shit out of wood because she came out as bisexual years ago. nobody else batted an eye while the bi bloggers were in shock at what they read. it really makes me feel like my life has no worth as a bisexual woman when literally the first things that comes to people's minds when they found out i've been abused is that i deserved it on the basis of my sexuality, and that they should go ahead and abuse me or finish the job of my abuser for him by killing me off. i will forever feel bitterness and contempt that women of other sexualities can at least rest easy in finding unconditional support when they suffer from domestic violence without any strings attached. when a bisexual woman goes through abuse... well, what the fuck did she expected?

That's so fucking evil. I had no idea about the response about that situation.

It's genuinely why monosexuals have to prove themselves to me. I'll always be pleasantly surprised and welcome those monosexuals that care and want to do better and be real allies with the most open of arms, but otherwise, I refuse to set myself up for any heartache or disappointment.

Misha came out as straight now on twitter

I know what I personally think, but objectively, either that was a biphobic "joke" that backfired on him massively, or he's panicked and gone back into the closet.

Either way, completely unacceptable and I'm tired and pissed off.

not to sound weird but what kind of information do you have to give in the bi discord

That isn't weird at all!

Send me a DM (or an anon with your Discord handle that I won't publish where I can add you on there), confirm that you're over 18 and bisexual, join the Discord, read and fully agree to the rules, and... that's it.

There's no selfie-sharing or voice sharing or personal information.

Just be an adult bisexual and agree to keep the server a safe space and you are more than welcome with us.

If it makes you feel better, most radical feminists in this space are just gender critical women.

Radical feminists, and I mean real ones, don't actually act like this.

Biphobia isn't feminist. And nearly every woman on radblr is biphobic.

Only a few gold bars are true radical feminists, but most here aren't at all.

You say that, but Kathleen Stock and Julie Bindel exist, not mentioning the history of biphobia in the movement (from the bright-eyed lesbian encouragement and celebration of bisexual women who were pushed to call themselves "lesbians" too, right up until that was considered predatory and homophobic, history erased to attack and blame those bisexual women without understandings of context to hate us even more.

I was more naive to think that the old biphobia had simply disappeared with time, and then I've been rudely awakened to the modern facts on the ground. It's a different kind of biphobia, but only because it's a modern kind of biphobia.

At the end of the day, I understand what you're saying and I generally agree, but when the movement is full of fauxminists who are accepted by other fauxminists and that's the face of the movement, and there are no loud voices drowning out the biphobes and supporting bisexual women, then we can't No True Scotsman it.

When TRAs are faced with lists and lists of other TRAs saying horrendous things and being blatantly bigoted, they often say that either those people aren't "really trans/TRAs," or that they're just individual examples, but we know that because there isn't mass condemnation etc it's a general issue with the movement itself.

There is a reason that so many biphobes flock to the label and feel empowered by said label to be as biphobic as possible.

And this isn't just me navel-gazing. This is the result of talking constantly with other bisexual women and having my eyes ripped wide open by them.

It's like feminism itself. Once you see the world for how it really is, you can't go back and unring that bell. It's the same when it comes to biphobia. Once you see it and truly understand it, the bell doesn't stop ringing.

[when I and other bisexuals have talked about the abuse that straight men put bisexual women through only to be victim-blamed, laughed at or scoffed as being “bihet.” But bisexual women are only ever cared about when we’re useful for some other cause.] This has been on my mind ever since it started making the rounds again. Don't be fooled by the "support" of AH, they still hate bi women. Once this dies down (and maybe even before then), the Evil Bisexual Conspiracy posts will be on schedule.

Oh, don't worry. I'm not that foolish.

It reminds me of all the using of, "We need feminism because of the misogynistic abuse of women in different cultures all across the world!" right before scoffing that no woman ever struggles with opposite-sex attraction. My eyes have been well and truly opened when it comes to tokenisation and using other women as props right before being grossly misogynistic and not caring about them at all.

What do you think about the whole Depp v Heard thing? I can’t believe depp married a bi women and then proceeded to throw homophobic insults at her like what is his deal😭 not saying heard is perfect bc she clearly has anger management issues but it’s surreal how many ppl are willing to ignore the evidence against depp just bc he’s their favorite actor.

They weren't "homophobic" insults, that was biphobic abuse. It's biphobic because he knew she was bisexual and he weaponised her sexuality against her.

It's a completely disgusting case and I'm bitter in general. Patriarchy is going to patriarchy, no one is perfect, and I also find it extremely galling that this space in particular is suddenly all pro-Amber Heard just to attack Johnny Depp when I and other bisexuals have talked about the abuse that straight men put bisexual women through only to be victim-blamed, laughed at or scoffed as being "bihet." But bisexual women are only ever cared about when we're useful for some other cause.

I've been avoiding it because it's just so much.

I found flowers for bisexuals!!

i love being bisexual so much!!!!! i just wanna yell about it! i love my attraction and my identity! i love the word bisexual! bisexual bisexual bisexual!!! there are so many beauties and joys in the world and i am so glad this is one i get to experience

Mónica Naranjo

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

DOB: 23 May 1974

Ethnicity: White - Spanish

Occupation: Singer, songwriter, musician

Lil sketch

Julie Cypher

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

DOB: 24 August 1964

Ethnicity: White - American

Occupation: Director

Asfhhcxertswz croooc, Misha collins came out a biiiii 😭😭😭

I know! He always gave off the Bi Vibe and I loved him for ages, but now I love him even more!

I hope that he's doing well and gets the right kind of support for coming out!

It's really fucking funny, and by that I mean fucking enraging as an abuse survivor to see victim-blaming shit in a supposedly "radical feminist" space. They need to stop mentioning abused women if all they see us as is numbers for their rhetoric. It's disgusting. "It's a choose your own adventure with only wrong choices", fuck off. Genuinely.

This is where it boils down to: the ideology on its own being good but the execution and how it's interpreted by too many women being rotten to the core.

It's always "there is no real choice under patriarchy" right up until women can be victim-blamed for things that aren't their fault, ironically strengthening the patriarchy even more by absolving men of their choices and actions.

I think that's what makes it as frustrating as it is, because I genuinely don't know how there's so much analysis and well-thought out understandings, but still the answer to 2 + 2 somehow comes out as 7.

just saw someone tag something about women dating men as " #idc if you date men and i wouldn't stop anyone from doing it#but dating men as a woman is a 'choose your own adventure' with only wrong choices" maybe its just me but 🤢🤢 this is so gross

I think it's because there are victim-blaming vibes to it.

"I wouldn't stop women dating men, but they know what they're getting into," alongside the patronising "They know all of their choices there are wrong."

The world is too complicated to give generalised responses like that. We know how men as a class behave and that there are risks that women need to weigh up and consider, right alongside lessons that they deserve the best and should never accept anything less, but at the same time, recognising that whatever might negatively happen to a woman in an opposite-sex relationship isn't her fault, it's always down to the abuser, and there should never, ever be any kind of, "That's what men are like, you should have known better."

yeah straight couples out of nowhere sexually harassing out bisexuals for a threesome just has no real direct comparison to the homophobia experienced by gays and lesbians. I mean, I remember being a teenager at a hair salon and hearing women complain "why can't they just pick a side and stick to it! you're bipolar!" and there's just no real way to describe the at as anything other than biphobia.

Even when we come to the most similar individual situations of biphobia and homophobia, I still don't think they're reasonable comparisons.

A lesbian being raped to "fix" her homosexuality is a horrendous evil, but it isn't the same as a bisexual woman being raped to "fix" the same-sex attraction she has as a bisexual. They're both disgusting and evil and wrong, neither is "worse" than the other, but they affect the victims differently. The correct support for one of those women will not be helpful for the other woman.

It's neither biphobic nor homophobic to point out that we have different experiences and that bigotry towards us affect us in different ways. There are big similarities, but that's all they are, similarities.

Bisexuals need to stop using the term "homophobia" in regards to bigotry experienced. The only homophobia that works is the homophobia about same-sex couples, since that's the term everyone has decided is the correct one when it comes to same-sex couples. Two bisexual men in love holding hands are going to be abused as much as two gay men in love holding hands, because biphobes and homophobes don't care about the difference, they're focused on the act that they see in front of them. Even so, oppression doesn't begin and end with how you're perceived as part of a couple. Pretending that it is ends up ironically being just as homophobic as it is biphobic.

Lesbians and gay men face homophobia.

Bisexuals face biphobia.

Both are bad.

All of us are oppressed by heterosexuals.

Intracommunity bigotry isn't oppression, but it is wrong.

I don't know how else to wake others up to the truth in this. It's right here. It's all out in the open. The science is there, the personal experiences are there. I don't know what else to say aside from snapping at fellow bisexuals to stop capitulating and actually take some time to think.

It isn’t useful or meaningful because the only homophobia that bisexuals face is the general homophobia spouted towards same-sex couples, or those who are perceived to be same-sex couples.

Otherwise, we experience biphobia. 

Biphobes have taught us the lie that our experiences are “diverse” to pretend that we have no experiences in common, deliberately reducing us to whoever we happen to be dating at any point. Saying things like “live lives functionally identical to...” just erases bisexuality and bisexual emotions, which falls right into the biphobic trap that we don’t have actual human connections, thoughts or struggles outside of how we’re perceived as objects hanging on the arm of whichever sex.

Like a bisexual in an opposite-sex relationship is “functionally heterosexual,” and suddenly it doesn’t matter if they’re terrified and in the closet, dealing with minority stress and self-esteem issues and the higher likelihood of domestic abuse, because outsiders see “opposite sex couple.”

Like a bisexual in a same-sex relationship is “functionally gay,” and suddenly it doesn’t matter if they’re terrified and in the closet the opposite way, dealing with the same minority stress and self-esteem issues, because outsiders see “same-sex couple.”

There’s an easy way to flatten all of it. Just by accepting that bisexuality is real, that biphobia is real and that bisexuals deserve respect and space to discuss our joint issues instead of trying to tier us through offensively examining how “straight” vs how “gay” we are in percentages or forgetting that we’re individual people.

I don't think it's useful or meaningful to have a tug of war over "bisexuals don't experience significant homophobia" vs "bisexuals' experiences with homophobia are indistinguishable from those of gay people" when the space of experiences of "people who are attracted to men and women" is so diverse. like there are going to be people who are bisexual who live lives functionally identical to that of a gay person and people who are bisexual who live lives functionally identical to that of a straight person. and people who have experiences that are very uniquely bisexual in nature. it doesn't seem to me like there's a good way to flatten that