A welcome surprise for everyone present...

Mauser

Sauerkraut

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

i love when a mutual i havent seen in a while appears in my notifs again and is still my mutual. hugging you happy you are still here yayyy

please just ":3" for once in your life.

The bags under my eyes keep getting deeper.

imagine you make microwave popcorn and by wild chance every single kernel has the same exact popping point and after like a minute in the microwave the bag instantly fills up with a single earsplitting gunshot noise would that be fucked up or what

@deepfriedanon

TONIGHT. WE’RE DRINKING FROM THE POND.

23 creepiest things kids said about their imaginary friends.

For the full list go here

Little jockey

(Source)