radioactivecatboy
That Tiger Does Not Blame You, Nor Is He Grateful
percy/jellyfish | they/he | 24 | i reblog chaos and whatever catches my attention | guy with a funny little gender | currently in my ?????? era | ajin sideblog is @babygirltanaka <3 | header is The Big Comet (2004) by antonio to nelli | H*RRY P*TTER FANS AND T*RFS DO NOT INTERACT
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my brain produced the phrase “can’t get a moment of homoerotic peace” the other day and now i can’t stop saying it
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a man with a helmet or mask that he never takes off is infinitely more sexy than an attractive man who sometimes wears a helmet. it’s about the mystery. the mystique. is there nothing under there or a monster under there or a scary looking guy (all three uniquely charming). you’ll never know. it’s also doubly attractive if he takes his shirt off but keeps the helmet on. you agree
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put those big brown eyes away dude now is NOT the time
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gnome pirate captain: make him walk the twig
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and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
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cowboys be like "nah that feller is just a companion to keep the trail a bit less lonely & a lot less dangerous" & then ride funny in the saddle the next 2 days
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yes i'm normal about him. i need to gnaw on him like a no. 2 pencil
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nothing more embarassing than when you develop personal beef with a piece of media thats entirely petty. like sorry no i cant talk about that show it. bit me.
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they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.
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Image one: A screenshot of a tumblr anon. “I wanted to let you know that the “i bet jar jar is fucking hung like a whale” ask has become an inside a joke between me and my brothers to the point that we can recite it from memory. thank you for your sacrifice.”
Images two through ten: Screenshots of replies.
artemisbarnowl: “Wake up babe new copy pasta has dropped”
alpacafragga: “Whoa why are we tagging me? I love JarJar but i don’t want his Binks in my ass”
squishymaruu: (in pink text) “Officially saying “MEESA COMING” every time I have sexual contact”
noddlezoddle: “Once again I wish I was Jared, 19”
johnnyclash87: “I can’t wait for my Lyft driver to ask me how my day has been so I can tell him that some girl online said she wanted to get plowed by General Grevious in response to another person saying they think Jar Jar looks like a baby elephant when he walks naked.”
pikaglove: A stock image of a priest sitting in a confessional booth, looking shocked and slightly horrified with the shutterstock in the middle.
mational-shitpost-registry: “i actually had a nightmare about this post”
urbanfantasyinspiration: A four panel Tom and Jerry meme. Tom clutches a piece of paper close to his face, brows scrunched up. The paper is labeled “Weird ass anon wants to fuck Jar Jar”, and Tom looks up with eager exitement, only to recieve a pie to the face labeled “I wanna fuck general grevious”
ultimatebottom69: “…Wait you are telling me you all don’t want to be fucked by Jar Jar?”
Image eleven: An official drawing of Jar Jar Binks. He stands nude with one hand on his hip and the other on his thigh. He is, sadly for the original anon, completely smooth in the groin.
Image twelve: A gif of Darth Malgus from the video game Star Wars: The Old Republic. He sits in a large chair with his forearms braced on his legs, saying, “Our survival demands a new Empire, tempered by alien alliances and strengthened by tolerance.”
I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
#phew! wipes the sweat off my brow#shoutout to my boyfriend who sat on voice call with me while i cackled to myself as i did the descriptions and quoted comments at it#he thinks i am very cute and endearing even when i say awful things like MEESA COMING and howl with laughter#jellyfish txt#jellyfish describes#“jellyfish” you might ask “why would you put something so terrible upon my dash?”#well thats easy its because its one of the funniest posts ive seen in my life and whenever it pops up it makes me lose my shit#also my condolances to anon. for the fact jar jar is not hung like a whale#thank god for me personally i don’t know if i could go through my life like a normal person after seeing jar jar binks’s dick#anyway. 🫶
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Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.
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my dad is so funny because if you actually asked him point blank if he's an ally i dont think he'd know how to respond but like a year ago he was talking about when he used to sell houses in the 90s and he was like "yeah we had a gay couple come in and i had to tell one of my coworkers to stop being rude to them. then they invited me to their housewarming party, i dont know why. after that i had a bunch of gay couples come in and specifically ask for me, isnt that weird?" and he legitimately had never connected the dots
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Papercraft Reigen! I've had that gray paper for a while, and I really like it, but unfortunately hadn't found an opportunity to really showcase it. This piece seemed like the perfect chance to do so! Doesn't Reigen look stylish doing his beautifully-patterned spin!
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Turn based sex. Take as long as you need to think of a strategy.
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