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Confronted my mother about her telling me to eat a certain amount of calories made me almost die and she laughed and said “well you looked very good like that”
I thought it was me being too sensitive, that I was dramatic for thinking that she liked to see me small even if I was dying but those words confirmed it. She doesn’t care if I get sick, or if I’m shaking and pale and weak as long as I’m beautiful to her
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Lighthousekeeping - Jeanette winterson
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Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance
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electra, sophocles (trans. anne carson) // enough, suzanne buffman // letter to my rage: an evolution, lidia yuknavitch // the ghost is dead, long live the ghost, mara avoth // the importance of being earnest, oscar wilde // i didn’t always salivate over skeletons, blythe baird // persephone the wanderer (ii), louise glück // sharp objects, gillian flynn // the carnivorous lamb, agustín gómez-arcos (trans. william rodarmor) // how to wear your mother’s lipstick, warsan shire.
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Kaveh Akbar, from Calling A Wolf A Wolf: Poems; “Portrait of the alcoholic with home invader and housefly”
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My day everyday
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It’s only a matter of time until I explode
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Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation
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anyone else decaying. is anyone else simply rotting
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