Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

HELP

MY ASSIGNED ANALOG HORROR SERIES IS PENIS FILES

I want to kill this person with my own hands

i'm gonna say this from the bottom of my heart and with all the love in my soul but. 'digital nomads' should just die

baby girl i cut pears in ways you couldn’t imagine

instagram: smacmccreanor

Me gasté banda de guita en libros, es culpa de mi hermano que no me detuvo e incitó mi comportamiento propio de la burguesía y no de mi realidad prole😭

the fact that there are white people going "omg they're just like us" about people in south, south east, south west asia and africa and south america like it's some huge revelation that we're all human is so fucking dismal to me. what do you mean you never considered the personhood of the people who don't look like you or don't have your culture? why do you think that you're unique in your suffering? why do you think you deserve praise for realizing that we're all human?

Harrison Ford hating playing Han Solo made him better at playing Han Solo because Han Solo did not want to be there doing those things either.

veo que mis pinchamutuals están felices, les felicito

I love 27 year old women

My dad: that's why Jesus invented coffee

Me, face down on the couch: we didn't invent coffee the Muslims did.

My dad: Well, that's why Muhammed invented coffee.