John: Patient Zero

     September 30th, 2022. I’ve been feeling sick for a little while, so I decided to take a COVID test outside. I’m chatting with a friend at a table while I take my COVID test since I don’t really believe I have it. As soon as I deposited a drop into the antibody test, the two lines instantly appeared. Panic. I call everyone that I’ve been in contact with for the past couple of days, I contact my teachers telling them about my situation, and I contact the school to get instructions on what to do next. Zeltzin comes out and tests with me and she tests positive while I test a second time, still positive. Valerie, Richard, and Lily test next, however only Richard tests positive. So, Richard, Zeltzin, and I quarantine in Richard's room while Valerie and Lily play it safe and quarantine in Zeltzin/Valerie’s room. Though soon Valerie was in Richard's room too. 

     I had never gotten COVID before, so all of the symptoms were new to me and also I had never had to quarantine in place. I felt really guilty for getting all of my friends sick, and making them have to quarantine with me. I felt even worse after I realized that we could no longer go to the Kid Bloom concert that we had all bought tickets for a couple days before. 

     The only things I really remember from being in Richard's room were watching insane amounts of serial killer documentaries on Richards TV, taking care of a friend's dog for a day, and Zeltzin dying in the corner of the room. Everything else during that time was a complete blur. Zeltzin, Richard, Valerie, and I spent most of the many hours in the room watching the Dahmer documentary series and other various serial killers. I made many jokes about the serial killers, many of which did not land so well. I was very silly over the entire course of the quarantine experience. One of the days we were quarantining, a friend (not infected) wanted us to watch over her dog while she went to a theme park. This was a very interesting and fun experience because it taught me how much I would not want a dog. Coco, a white mixed breed dog, was fine to spend time with all morning, but once we wanted to eat some lunch, he would not stop barking. It was incessant and the only way I could get him to stop was supplexing him. 

     I only brought a few worldly possessions to the room: my camping mat, a blanket, a pillow, and a camping chair. I used these items to their absolute limits during the few days that I stayed in Richard's room. There was nothing more rewarding in the mornings when I would pack up my sleeping stuffs, throw them on the dresser, set up the camping chair, and then sit there for the rest of the day. I would sit there. Just sit there. All day long. In my chair I would sit. My throne. My safe space. Mon amour.

     When Lily finally also tested positive, we all moved over to Zeltzin and Valerie’s room. Richard, Lily, and I slept on the floor while Zeltzin and Valerie slept on their beds. We never really moved around a lot from each of our positions, so time was also a blur in this room too. This time, I had brought my bass with me to the room to play and keep myself busy and Richard used my acoustic guitar. The time we spent together in this room wasn’t boring since we could all keep each other company. Richard and Lily spent almost a little too much time together… couldn’t tell you why.

     The time I spent in Zeltzin’s room was actually quite fun. We would play games, like scribbl.io, and talk with each other almost all day. The one caveat to this time, however, was that I was the designated food orderer. Any time that we wanted lunch or dinner, I was the person that had to ask someone who was not sick to get us food. This was a bit of a pain when people were busy when we were hungry. The main people I want to shout out is Cynthia, who got our food for us 

     During the last 3 or 4 days of being in quarantine, I felt completely fine and not sick, however, 2 faint lines persisted each day and I had to keep telling myself that tomorrow would be the day I could finally leave. It was when Zeltzin and Valerie tested negative first that started my biggest descent into madness. This proceeded all the way until October 8th, when I finally tested negative for COVID. I was ecstatic. The day after I tested negative, I went to a quinceanera to celebrate.

Zeltzin: S.O.S

I sat frozen in the middle of my math lecture hall, staring at the message on my phone. What I see before me is a positive COVID test from my friend, John. Beside me sat Lily, and we were right in the middle of the lecture hall as we saw the positive COVID test on our phones. I immediately tuned out the sound coming from my professor as I turn to Lily. I remember her turning to me asking if we should leave because we spent time with John prior to our lecture and we ended up leaving our lecture sooner than later since the lecture ended in five minutes. We rushed back to Merrill, which was a whole journey from science hill. As we were completely out of breath, I had a bad feeling that there was something wrong with me. Once we were at the top of the hill, I felt like I couldn't breathe at all usually, I’m out of breath but not like this. I’d also like to mention that I’ve had COVID before, but I didn't feel as horrible as I did at the moment.

We meet John outside on the Merrill plaza and we all test again on a bench. I unpacked the COVID test and held my breath as I swabbed the inside of the nose, my nose ring getting caught with each swab. I dreaded this process and only found the part about dipping the drops into the test. Three drops in and immediately my COVID test showed two lines. I was so distraught over these results because I already got COVID in the past and I got my most recent booster months ago, which I know isn't a guarantee that I'm immune from COVID, but it still sucked to see. I remember thinking that this second time getting it won't be that bad because my body knew how to deal with it. However, I was so wrong. 

A temporary solution that I thought of was to quarantine in my room with John. I informed Valerie of my misfortune, and I told her to leave the room to stay with Richard and Lily in Merrill B. As John and I stayed in my room, I remember us just sitting on the floor, completely clueless about what to do in this situation. What was there to do? Could the timing be any worse? Was I going to fail my classes? I was spiraling. Until we got a call from Richard informing us he, too, had COVID. New plan. John and I transferred to Richard's room, and we had Lily and Valerie stay in my room. 

Now staying in Richards's room was an experience. Arriving there I took over his bed, and he was forced to stay in his roommate's bed, but I got priority since I was the one dying the most out of the two. The room was a double with beds that weren't lofted and I felt grateful because I did not want to waste a breath climbing up the ladder of a loft bed. I recall spending most of my time just coughing and trying to breathe as I rot in his bed. Time felt stagnant and life felt like we were in a Billie Eilish music video covering her album Happier Than Ever. I only left the bed when I needed to use the restroom and that alone exerted too much energy. I felt like a wilting flower petal. 

On a brighter note, we tried to make the most of it. We watched Netflix until dark and would always make commentary on the shows. I felt like we were movie critics and it became our full-time job. We watched a lot of Dahmer and that ended up giving me nightmares almost every night, but I found the show so enticing we were all so invested in finishing up the series. We also would try to include Lily and Val, who still lived in our room. Teleparties were a big hit, but we would all end up falling asleep during the hour-long movie, but we would make up for it with short and sweet FaceTime checking in on each other. All was at somewhat of an equilibrium until Valerie tested positive.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a double. We established Valerie would live in Richard's bed with me since that’s the only space the room could provide and she could join us in our endless Netflix binging. Now that the room was occupying four people, we had to feed four stomachs and the food variety wasn’t existent. The food they provided us was very plain, but that could be because of my loss of taste. I recall us using Grubhub as a resource sometimes, but I still couldn't taste my food, so it felt almost discouraging to eat. Just when I thought things couldn’t take a turn for the worst, Lily tested positive for COVID.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a Back to my original plan! Since we were all positive, we all migrated to me and Valerie’s room. This was somewhat of good timing since Richard's roommate wanted to move back into the room so he could have it all to himself now. I guess someone is a winner. I was feeling mixed about us all having COVID. I liked how we were all able to quarantine together, but also it wasn’t good fortune that we all were suffering from the virus. All the more, I enjoyed becoming reunited with my bed. Val reunited with her bed as well and as for everyone else, their new home was on the floor, which wasn’t anything new for John. Altogether we would have game nights and I would laugh until my stomach hurt. COVID didn't feel so bad when I was with all of them.

 As time passed, I was feeling better but Lily seemed to do worse since she just received COVID. Someone suggested we should go on a walk and so we all put our masks on and walked over to the East Field. The breeze was light and the sun hurt my eyes as I felt like I was a vampire being exposed to sunlight for the first time. I took pictures to capture these moments as I felt like it was a momentous occasion to finally be stepping foot outside. I did however feel a bit out of breath since that was the most active I have ever been. We all eventually headed back to our cave, isolated from society. 

The happy ending to my story was that I was starting to feel a lot better, and it was a week that had passed, so I decide to test myself again and, to my surprise, tested negative. I have never felt happier failing a test before. Valerie also tested negative that same day, and it felt like there was some light at the end of the tunnel. However, the rest who were still sick would test positive, and since we had immunity and they had nowhere else to go so they stayed in our room until they tested positive. Life remained the same until John finally tested negative. 

My family had invited me to attend a quinceanera for my neighbor and I was thrilled! It felt like this was a celebration of finally being free. I invited John and Valerie to go with me since they were negative and the next day we were off to celebrate a quinceanera but also our negative COVID tests. 

Richard: Stuck in the Middle with You

Nothing would have prepared for the news I would receive at 10:00AM on September 30th. Still sleeping, a knocking at the door awakened my conscious mind. I slowly awakened and took my time getting up, but soon the knocking turned into slamming and scratching. My legs got caught on the sheets as I open the door to find John, Zeltzin, Valerie, and Lily standing outside. Zeltzin, the one I presume was knocking at the door, presents to me a positive COVID test. Let me remind you that I had just woken myself up from a deep sleep and refused to believe that I may possibly have contracted COVID. The last time I had contracted COVID was a year before where I had suffered one of the worst fevers and headaches of my life. One COVID test later, I was faced with the undeniable truth… I had COVID. Soon after, Zeltzin, John, and I began our quarantine in my room; thankfully my roommate was back home for the time being.

As the world kept moving forward, time froze in this small dorm room. Concern for academics and well-being ceased to be of importance as we contemplate our options... Except one life-changing decisions had been made the night before this diagnosis that would alter the quarantine experience all-together. The night before this occurred, I had finally built up the courage to subtly ask Lily out on a date by writing “Do you wanna go on a beach date?” in her sketchbook. The anxiety of waiting for a response the next day worked as a distraction amidst the chaos of COVID but it wasn’t until later that day when Lily had found the note whilst we had already separated rooms. The sheer excitement and joy a simple “yes” can create was enough to forget the immediate problem of COVID. But in spite of the joyous occasion, the group had a much larger issue on our hands.

The process of emailing professors, warning friends, and calling relatives is not one I would ever like to repeat. With the sickness only getting worse and worse by the day, every moment in the room would became a blur with many of our days constituting of rotting away in bed, watching Netflix shows, and catching up with homework. But one key issue that would perpetuate this “lifestyle” was the inability to leave the room. Without the ability to get food at the dining hall or attend important lectures, our symptoms and unease would only be amplified. We would either resort to expensive fast food delivered through Grubhub or the awkward request of asking an RA or friend to deliver us dining hall food. But the longer and longer we quarantined, everyday would feel as though it were repeating itself. That was until we were faced with a dilemma… my roommate wanted to come back.

Around this time, Valerie had tested positive for COVID and had moved into my room while Lily remained in the other room. With the majority of use already occupying the whole room and my roommate insisting to return, we were forced to weigh our options. With no where else to go, quarantining in the room Lily was staying at was our only real option. The problem with that was that Lily was still testing negative despite experiencing minor symptoms. We decided to give ourselves time to think about our course of actions but as days went by, my roommate would persist. After a few days and my roommate practically demanding to return to the dorm, Lily finally tested positive. Despite what most might think, this was good thing. With my roommate satisfied and a place to quarantine, things would begin to look up.

Now reunited in one room, we would claim our respective territories; Zeltzin and Valerie in their beds, John sprawled on the floor by the entrance, Lily and I huddled together by the window. We were closer than ever before. But after a moment of joy over this reunion, we were reminded why we had to quarantine in the first place. With Lily’s symptoms getting worse overtime and the rest of us slowly recovering, we made the most of any activities we could do together before we had to separate once more. “Let’s go on a walk”, someone mentions half-jokingly. Soon, that joke would become reality as we make our way from the mountainous Merrill dorms to vast East Field. This event would later spark inspiration for more outdoor walks, which did an effective job clearing my sinuses and improving my overall health.

Soon enough, after a few more days of quarantining, Zeltzin and Valerie would be the first to test negative with John following shortly after. However after countless COVID tests with Lily everyday, there seemed like there was no hope in ever testing negative. Since John, Valerie, and Zeltzin had left for a quinceanera, we were alone in our isolation. That was until the very next day when it finally happened, a negative COVID. Freedom at last, but with the ability to reintegrate with the outside world, I tended to Lily till the very end.

Valerie: A Blur of Days

The day before chaos, we were all sat on the floor and spontaneously bought concert tickets for Kid Bloom that would take place the following day. Some of us had been experiencing a sore throat but brushed it off. We planned to get COVID tests the next morning with the expectation of testing negative.

As usual, the next morning, I got ready for my noon core class and saw John sitting outside at a table. There was a COVID test kit scattered around the table and he sat still. I walked up to him and he told me, “I tested positive”. No more concert for us. In fear, I took the other half of the kit and took the test at a distance from him. After waiting, one line showed up, prompting my negativity. With a shrug, I happily stated my result and walked to class.

After my hour-long class, I walked back to my dorm and opened the door to find John and Zeltzin on the floor, rushing to put on masks. On the side were unfamiliar belongings that I knew didn’t belong to me. Something was wrong. From a vague memory. Zeltzin said, “soooooooo, I tested positive”. Together, they stated their plan that the positive people would stay in me and Zeltzin’s dorm, and the negative people would stay in Richard’s room. Well, that was the plan until less than an hour later.

Following through with the plan, Lily and I went to Richard’s room, which would be our room for the next few days. The three of us decided to take an extra COVID test as an extra precaution. Me, negative. Lily, Negative. What’s that extra line on Richard’s test? The faint line turned deeper, and our plan was switched. Being that Richard’s room was bigger, Lily and I went back to my dorm and the positive people went to his dorm.

As I said, this was a blur of days. Being in my dorm with Lily wasn't unusual, but being disconnected from the others was. In those days, I focused on note-taking and stayed in bed, which is pretty normal for me. To reconnect, we used an app to watch movies together: Frozen 2 and Guardians of the Galaxy. Lily and I had watched the movie on Zeltzin’s bed, and it felt quite cozy. Neither of us had been feeling symptoms until night two.

On the night of October 2, we started to feel slight itches in our throats. I texted my RA, who lives across the hall, and asked for COVID tests. At roughly 1 am, I received a text that she would be dropping off the tests soon. I open the door to a knock as she hands over the tests. Lily and I sit on the floor and unpack the COVID tests. Watching the tests like hawks, we start to see the results slowly appear. Lily, negative… Two lines show up on my test. I’m positive. “How could I be positive?” I question this since I have already had COVID before.

My past COVID experience was terrible. I had after-effects that lasted for nine months and impacted my smell and taste. With this, I couldn’t eat or stand the smell of common foods such as any meat, chocolate, oats, and the list goes on. Based on my previous experience, my fear of this happening again struck.

To protect Lily, we decided to sleep with masks on and wait to receive more tests from my RA the next morning.

With more tests the morning after, there was no change in either of our results. It was time for me to move into Richard’s dorm.

Moving felt weird because I never expected to sleep over in someone's dorm. Going into this room, I knew what their days of quarantining looked like. Everyone had their own space: Zeltzin on Richard’s bed, Richard on his roommate’s bed, and John on his chair, which was deteriorating day by day. It was determined that Zeltzin and I were going to share Richard’s bed. These areas were the only places we stayed in. Even though there was a small amount of room to roam, none of us got up unless it was to give our ID to someone to get our meals or to use the bathroom.

Speaking of meals, the limited availability was terrible. Every once in a while, we would DoorDash McDonalds, but other times, friends and our RA would stop by with our to-go boxes. A mix of white rice, a slice of pizza, and a dessert with a pile of fruit on the side were the most common meals. On occasion, we would get tasty french fries or seasoned potatoes. Having variety was a privilege.

The only thing I remember is watching multiple movies and shows on Netflix with all of us fixated on the screen. Eventually, Lily tested positive, and we moved back to my room.

I would say this was the worst time. The lack of space in the dorm, which is already small for Zeltzin and me, was now upped to five people. Zeltzin and I stayed in our lofts and John, Lily, and Richard had their spaces on the floor.

Still in quarantine, I couldn’t attend lectures and the stress of my upcoming midterm appeared. Usually, I like to work on my bed or at my desk but with my area being blocked, I remained on my bed. I also don’t have vivid memories of this time, but I would just hear our neighbors living their lives and wanting to do the same. I guess I suppressed these memories.

My symptoms were the least severe, consisting only of a sore throat. Me and Zeltzin were the first ones to test negative, and I was thrilled! Although, since we were the ones hosting, we were still technically in quarantine so we couldn’t attend lectures or stay in locations for long periods of time.

Zeltzin had mentioned to us that her neighbor would be celebrating her quinceañera and whoever was negative could go with her. It was nice having an outdoor event to look forward to. In the meantime, at least we could go out and pick our food though (double-masked of course) :)!

Lily: The Last of Us

Me and Valerie were the last ones still testing negative and were quarantining in another room due to the exposure. I was drawing in my sketchbook, as one does when you have nothing else to do but wait, when I noticed a note,“Go to page 101, Lily’s eyes only.” “Huuuuh,” I thought to myself. Page 101 read “Wanna go on a beach date next Saturday? -Richard :)” I involuntarily gasped loudly and looked at Val with wide eyes. She was immediately concerned and asked, “what, what's wrong?!” I told her, she laughed and recited a joke the singles in our group made when Richard and I first started openly flirting with each other, “when is it my turn to be happy?!,” as she jokingly smacked her fist on her desk. I giddily texted him my response.

A day or so later, Val and I continued taking rapid tests and they kept coming back negative, until the last test of the night when one didn’t. Val tested positive. We immediately put on masks and got into the beds we were sleeping in, at opposite ends of the room, and she texted the others who would take her in in the morning to continue quarantining. I still tested negative and the next morning she went to quarantine with the others.

I was now alone. In a room that wasn’t mine. With nothing but my thoughts. I had all the beginning symptoms of covid, sore throat, runny nose, overall sick feeling, but no matter how many tests I took I continued coming back negative. I began to doubt the reality of my symptoms. Having ocd, I began thinking my mind was just playing tricks on me and I wasn’t actually sick. I was rather upset at this point. I was sick, couldn’t be with my friends, was doubting my mind and body, and still couldn’t leave the room. I remember vividly, drawing in the same sketchbook I described earlier, sitting at Zeltzin’s desk in my pink heart pajama pants, jealous that the others were making the best out of a bad situation… without me.

A day later I got two emails, one with my PCR test results and the other detailing my next steps. I was positive. I no longer met UCSC guidelines for being on campus, and was given a covid representative to follow my case. Obviously I didn’t want to have covid, but I was relieved that I wasn’t making up my symptoms and that I could deal with this experience in the company of friends. I texted the group chat the results and it worked out well since Richard’s roommate wanted back into the room and I was considering continuing my quarantine in my dorm so the others could take over Zeltzin and Val’s dorm. However, my roommates did not want me back in the room. I was told I could be quarantined in my dorm, with my roommates, by the representative, but when I told my roommates the dilemma and the plan initially, they lost their minds.

Anyway, the group began their move to me, in Zeltzin’s room. Since it was a double, attempting to properly fit five people into the space was maddening. After the first night me and Richard were snuggled comfortably in a corner of the room, John at the other end, and Valerie and Zeltzin in their respective loft beds. 

As the days progressed I got more and more sick. My body ached, my throat hurt, my thoughts were scrambled, combined we were all guzzling Dayquil and Nyquil like it was nothing. I passed the time by talking with everyone, especially Richard, drawing, trying to keep up with homework, and sleeping. John was losing his marbles, he was pacing around, sitting in his funky camping chair, being agitated but still silly. Zeltzin and Val were mostly chilling, sick but just recovering in their respective beds. I was trying really hard to keep up with my book and writing for my Cowell 1 class but I already hated the writing she assigned us and the reading was incredibly long. If I was dreading these assignments normally, they were going to put me into cardiac arrest in the state I was in.

I stayed in my pjs almost the entire time we quarantined. There was one day when I began feeling slightly better so I did my makeup and put on regular clothes but by the next day I was sicker than before. Everyone else was already getting better at this point and I was still stuck, sick and in bed.

We decided to go on a mental health walk. Initially I was excited to leave the room for a little while but once we got from Merrill building A down to the farthest part of the field at Cowell I was exhausted, out of breath, and aching. I was still trudging along. When we got back to the room I took more DayQuil, because I anticipated doing work, but ended up knocking out in our little corner anyway. 

Zeltzin’s family invited us to a quinceanera, I don’t know the details since I was still testing positive, and lowkey mad I couldn’t go too, but once John, Zeltzin, and Val tested negative, they were rushing out of the room with a bag for the night and me and Richard were left on our own, the only two testing positive. 

We ordered snacks from 7/11, and drew, he played guitar. We ended up staying up till 5am just talking about various miscellaneous things, some serious topics, a lot goofy. The next day Richard tested negative but I still tested positive. I was stressed about missing another day of classes while the rest of them got to live life normally again. I finished reading an entire book for my Cowell 1 class and was pretty productive although rather lonely. 

The next day I finally tested negative and went to my classes like normal. I was ecstatic. After the fact I can confidently say that although none of us wanted to catch covid, I’m glad that we went through this experience together. I love all the people in our group, especially Richard, and I hope we continue experiencing our lives together!