people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

The word ‘seldom’ is hardly ever used.

The only reason air is free is because there’s no cost affective way to charge for it

Witchcraft is illegal, but you’re not a witch! You and your coven- I mean, you and your friends are just exceptionally good alchemists.

Hey check out how hard i ca]

[n portal through posts 😁

Photography is a global language.

Selective mutism is funny cause you try to figure out how it works and you're like "oh okay so it only happens when I get real anxious, but at home I'm fine" and then you're chillin at home totally relaxed and you try to greet your kitty cat who just trotted up to you and all you get is "h...!" Like okay. Alright. Vocal chords just feelin like comedians tonight huh lmao

they call me the eeper cuz i uhm. eepy

goonight

TELL ME THAT THEY AIN’T CUTE AND CARRYING AND I WILL SMACK YA🥺❤️

suddenly viscerally remembered when I was in first grade and decided that “I got a boo boo” was too childish of a way to communicate to my mom that I’d gotten hurt.

I was a bookish kid though, so instead I switched to “mommy, I’ve been wounded” which in retrospect must’ve been a little odd to hear from a six-year-old.

evil infodumping where you just tell lies

You and The Resistance have finally overthrew the AI and took your world back! As you walk towards a new tomorrow, your commanders start saying things like, “gg, guys. Same time, next week?” “Yeah, dude. See you then!”

Bodybuilders are actually body reconstructors. The only bodybuilders are women, since they build new body inside them from scratch.