I am le depressed gerl. Mah name es Bethany. I look for le funnies and I make le shitpost. I am also not French. Fanfic/Writing blog is @punksarcasticmisanthropicwriter
I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend
You ever think supernatural creatures that consider humans potential prey have that "cat chases a bear up a tree"-thing? Like how bears, being an apex predator, have no concept of something that's sufficiently prey-sized deciding to attack instead of fleeing, and cats have no awareness of the fact that they can die. So every once in a while a cat and a bear come face to face in the wild for the first time. A bear doesn't understand what this creature is that isn't trying to flee, and starts sniffing. A cat doesn't understand what this creature is and decides to slap it. Utterly baffled, the bear decides it's best to get out of here. The cat starts chasing because obviously anything that flees is prey.
Imagine having an Entity in your home that eats creatures like you, but has never caught a human before. It doesn't understand why this prey isn't trying to escape, the human is clearly unnerved by sensing A Presence but still keeps stubbornly sitting on the couch watching TV. The Entity moves a piece of furniture, making an eerie creaking noise, planning to raise terror in its prey as a way of playing with its food. But instead of even turning to look towards the source of the sound, the human just yells into the empty house:
"WHATEVER THE FUCK JUST MADE THAT NOISE HAD BETTER FUCK OFF, OR START PAYING RENT."
The Entiry freezes in place, and decides that whatever is going on, it's not worth the risk to find out. Better leave while it still can.
sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.
you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.
i’m just getting over a cold and this video made me start actually crying and coughing and choking and shit in the middle of a discord call today like actually dying for real
Loving the monster au where the monster sees humans as cute pets 10/10. Verry cute, not threatened in the slightest. Bonus point if they can't communicate either due to language or just speach