Updated again

Concerts I’ve Been To

1997 - Rush - Test For Echo Tour - The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA 2002 - Rush - Vapor Trails Tour - Giant Center, Hershey, PA 2007 - Rush - Snakes and Arrows Tour - Hersheypark Stadium, Hershey, PA 2011 - Rush - Time Machine Tour - Giant Center, Hershey, PA 2011 - Childish Gambino - Sign Up Tour - House of Blues, Atlantic City, NJ 2014 - Childish Gambino - Deep Web Tour - Electric Factory, Philadelphia, PA 2017 - Poppy - The Computer Tour - Foundry, Philadelphia, PA 2017 - Dream Theater - Images, Words & Beyond Tour - Merriam Theatre, Philadelphia, PA 2018 - Snarky Puppy - The Fillmore, Philadelphia, PA 2019 - Poppy - Am I A Girl Tour - TLA, Philadelphia, PA 2019 - Dream Theater - Distance Over Time Tour - Tower Theater, Philadelphia, PA 2019 - Snarky Puppy - Immigrance Tour - The Fillmore, Philadelphia, PA 2019 - Tool - Fear Inoculum Tour - Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, NJ Upcoming: 2020 - Poppy - I Disagree Tour - TLA, Philadelphia, PA

Hey if you happen to see this, reply to this post and tell me how you're doing!

Summer Movie Gauntlet

Me and my best friend and platonic life partner Drew, he's a big movie buff and so we always go see movies together. We splurged and got the Cinemark Movie Club for the summer because there was a new movie we wanted to see every two weeks. And we just wrapped up what I believe is our last hurrah yesterday, so I wanted to go through them.

FAST X

This was awesome, although I didn't like Jason Momoa's performance, way too over the top and cartoonish. The F&F series is over-the-top and requires you to suspend your disbelief, but this was too much. Regardless, I had a blast, the movie was super fun, the cast was great. We had seen F9 in theaters and marathoned all the F&F movies before that after I'd literally only seen 1 and 2. So seeing this was very cool.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

I think we were both prepared for this to be great, not as great as it actually was. The first 20 minutes of the movie with Gwen was movie of the year, and then the title card played and it only got better. Hilarious, heart-wrenching, mind-bending, great twist, great cliffhanger, animation was outrageous, score was incredible. One of the top films of the year by far.

The Flash

I really enjoyed this movie. I had a giant smile on my face the entire time and just absolutely loved it. I got past the CGI and some of the goofy comedy like Flash putting babies in the microwave. This is the DCEU's portrayal of the Flash, which probably is different than the upcoming DCU and different than the Arrowverse. Michael Keaton was alright, Sasha Calle was amazing as Supergirl. I had a blast watching it, despite it doing awful at the box office.

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One

Another one that I'd never seen, he made me watch all the MI movies (I'd never seen any of them), and we did Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation and Fallout in one sitting and each one was better than the one before it. This one was fabulous and I keep thinking about it, even now 2 weeks later. Amazing action, great cast, fun plot, great stunts, great cinematography, and a nice bookend to this chapter setting up the next movie. It's in a bad spot release date wise, more people should be talking about it because it was fantastic.

Oppenheimer

I'm 24 hours removed and I'm still thinking about it. What Christopher Nolan was able to do with no action scenes, practical special effects. Doing a biopic like it was Tenet or Inception and it totally worked. Ensemble cast, great actor after great actor, all of them seemed to be in competition with each other to try and steal the movie. Great twists and turns again for a movie with no action. Trinity test scene was awesome. Last third of the movie was incredibly gripping despite all of the exciting stuff being over.

Barbie

I wanna see this one again cause I don't feel like I fully appreciated it, although I had an absolute blast. Absolutely a fever dream of a movie, everyone committed 1000% to the bit. Super fun, I laughed my ass off at so many scenes. And someone else said it best, this movie really tackles what it means to be a female in the world today, something I cannot appreciate or experience. And it does it in a way that doesn't put down men, which would have muddied the message. And at the same time, it has a message for men too that isn't derogatory. And at the same time as all of that, it has great commentary on the human condition and what it means to be alive. Totally not the movie anyone expected, but an amazing spectacle and one that will stand the test of time.

Sadly, our movie adventures are over until the double whammy of Dune Part Two and The Marvels in November, although if this strike continues, both have been talked about being pushed back. Regardless, this was a string of 9 weeks and 6 movies that were quite incredible and I'm grateful to have done this and done it with my best friend.

We have a guy on our staff named Jordan Schlansky, he’s an associate producer. This guy has built a religion around the Indiana Jones movies he knows everything about them if you don’t mind we thought it’d be interesting if he tested you on your Indiana Jones trivia right now… Late Night with Conan O’Brien (airdate: 5/21/08)

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

Anyways

Things have been aight. Sorry I stopped updating from Dayton week. It was a pretty amazing and crazy experience. Sadly, I'm not going back next year but it is what it is. I've been teaching at Bucs and it's been pretty great. Been really lazy around the house other than that. Therapist suggests doing little bits at a time, but it's just so hard. Part of me wishes me and Rachel could just cut and run. But I can't do that. So idk.

Rebecca Ferguson | Mission: Impossible - Fallout | Premiere | Los Angeles, CA | 2018

Bruh of course me and Drew marathon Mission Impossible 4, 5 and 6 and Rebecca Ferguson in 5 and 6 uses her legs to beat down everyone. Haven't been the same since last night lol

Day 5 of My 12-Day Magical Mystery Tour

Day 1 - Odessa rehearsal Day 2 - Snarky Puppy concert Day 3 - MAPS Finals + NJPW Capital Collision show in DC Day 4 - GMU rehearsal Day 5 - GMU rehearsal Day 6 - GMU rehearsal + Chantilly sendoff Day 7 - drive to Dayton Day 8 - WGI Prelims Day 9 - WGI Semis Day 10 - WGI Finals Day 11 - drive home from Dayton Day 12 - Odessa rehearsal

Yesterday rehearsal was smooth. We had a bit of an issue Sunday at the end of the night, so the first part of the day was addressing that, and then we had a chill morning block. And then we had a quick afternoon block that was a lot of logistics and chilling. And then in the evening, we did a badass ensemble block. Cleaned a ton of the show, got a lot of high quality reps in.

Alex was there and we hung out. Alex in previous years was more of a coordinator and stuff. I think the plan this year was to get me around him, David, etc. to have me learn how to run a program. But they've been so busy and I've been on my own a lot. Having him there yesterday, he was super kind, talked to me about stuff. Monty sometimes kind of goes crazy cause there's 947 things to think about all the time. But Alex just taking an extra few seconds to kind of lay his expectations for me, that got me super engaged in rehearsal.

Maybe I shouldn't need that. But like, being brand new at this, it's nice having guidance. We have a short day of rehearsal, a preview show and then I drive home tonight to do laundry and prep for 4 more days gone. I really miss my sister and my cat. And my bed. And my house.

Day 3 and 4 of my 12-Day Magical Mystery Tour

Day 1 - Odessa rehearsal Day 2 - Snarky Puppy concert Day 3 - MAPS Finals + NJPW Capital Collision show in DC Day 4 - GMU rehearsal Day 5 - GMU rehearsal Day 6 - GMU rehearsal + Chantilly sendoff Day 7 - drive to Dayton Day 8 - WGI Prelims Day 9 - WGI Semis Day 10 - WGI Finals Day 11 - drive home from Dayton Day 12 - Odessa rehearsal

Didn’t update last night because I got to my hotel in Fairfax and collapsed on the bed and did a full system reboot last night. 

MAPS Finals was great. We had a great performance and got 1st place in Scholastic Regional. And won high score of the day. Pretty cool stuff. Very excited and happy for the kids that they did great and won. Wish more folks could have seen their show, but it’s not the end of the world. Cab Calloway also had a great show and got their highest placement of the season. I have high hopes for them in Dayton. 

So then I drove down to DC for a wrestling show, got there 15 minutes before bell time. Show wound up being really great. Some great wrestling matches, a really fun angle that they shot on the show, several in fact. And then a really great main event. I have a bad problem though that I get secondhand embarrassment really bad. So if someone shouts something random or awkward or says something random or awkward, it makes me uncomfortable. So of course the entire show is filled with assholes shouting random shit, trying to start random chants. It’s the worst. Made me almost leave the show during the main event. Just a complete lack of social awareness. Glad I didn’t cause there was a great title change. 

This morning I woke up and we had GMU rehearsal. Good day. Got a lot done and got a lot clean this morning. Had a productive block this afternoon continuing to clean and get good reps. And then this evening had a long but very productive music ensemble block with the battery, cleaning some stuff, working out front-to-back issues. Any big problems we had with timing, making them aware of tendencies and how to adjust. Made us a lot better and I think is a great foundation we’re pouring the rest of the week onto. 

I didn’t finish some of the work stuff I was working on last week. So today I took lunch and dinner break and hammered out some of it and got a lot done. Still gonna be burning the midnight oil tonight getting it done so that I can get it off tomorrow morning and it can get QA’d this week while I’m gone. And also so I have less to worry about when I get back, and also so I don’t have anything else to worry about while I’m in Ohio. 

Day 2 of my 12-Day Magical Mystery Tour

Day 1 - Odessa rehearsal Day 2 - Snarky Puppy concert Day 3 - MAPS Finals + NJPW Capital Collision show in DC Day 4 - GMU rehearsal Day 5 - GMU rehearsal Day 6 - GMU rehearsal + Chantilly sendoff Day 7 - drive to Dayton Day 8 - WGI Prelims Day 9 - WGI Semis Day 10 - WGI Finals Day 11 - drive home from Dayton Day 12 - Odessa rehearsal

Snarky Puppy concert was excellent. Opener was Nate Wood, who I know as the second drummer from those Knower live sesh videos. He was amazing. The set was fantastic from Snarky Puppy. 10/16 songs from Empire Central, all great. Then they closed the set with Shofukan and the encore was Lingus. Everything was amazing. 

Everytime I see them, I’m impressed with a new member of the band. The first time it was Larnell Lewis and Bobby Sparks. The second time it was Justin Stanton. This time it was Bob Reynolds and Nate Werth. Just amazing.

I’m glad I went. I didn’t get everything done at work that I wanted to, which means I’m going to be burning the candle this weekend to try and finish the work by Monday. And with so much band and driving and stuff to worry about, it could have been a poor decision, but I think it was a great decision because it was a great show. Let’s see if I feel the same way after tomorrow’s marathon day.

Day 1 of my 12-Day Magical Mystery Tour

Day 1 - Odessa rehearsal Day 2 - Snarky Puppy concert Day 3 - MAPS Finals + NJPW Capital Collision show in DC Day 4 - GMU rehearsal Day 5 - GMU rehearsal Day 6 - GMU rehearsal + Chantilly sendoff Day 7 - drive to Dayton Day 8 - WGI Prelims Day 9 - WGI Semis Day 10 - WGI Finals Day 11 - drive home from Dayton Day 12 - Odessa rehearsal

Odessa rehearsal went really well tonight. We were missing 3 kids, but the kids that were there showed up, worked hard and I felt like we got a lot of really solid reps tonight. We’re going on last out of 4 groups this weekend in Regional A and have a chance to win MAPS Regional A our first year out as a marching drumline. I feel a little weird because a lot of the groups we were gonna be duking it out against got bumped to A Class. Some of them, I watched their shows at Spring-Ford and I definitely think they were doing A Class shows disguised as Regional shows, while we’re doing a legitimate Regional A show. But it’s a little weird that there’s little competition for us.

Our goal for this year was not to win. We’re only a 2nd year program, 1st year marching, it was only to train the kids and get them used to marching and what this is. Which is why we went to MAPS and not TIA. So the fact we might win is kind of hilarious to all of us. Anyways, I’m really excited for Saturday and we’ll see what happens.

Sorry Kelly

The explosion community is dying btw. Reblog to blow up the person you're reblogging this from

I forgot that lesson because I went back to old me in the sense of “it’s winning or losing now” when it never was. It’s winning or learning. The only time you lose is when you don’t learn, and I’ve learned. 

Mandalorian

1x01 - Mando established as bounty hunter, fights a bunch of bounty hunters with IG-11, Baby Yoda cliffhanger - BANGER 1x02 - Mando meets Jawas, fights giant creature, Baby Yoda uses the force - OKAY 1x03 - Mando delivers Baby Yoda, has change of heart, kills stormtroopers, fights his way out of Nevarro - BANGER 1x04 - Mando lands on backwater planet, fights group of bandits with an AT-ST, meets hot mom - BANGER 1x05 - Mando lands on Tatooine for repairs, takes a bounty chasing Fennec Shand, gets double-crossed by another bounty hunter - BANGER 1x06 - Mando meets group of old friends, breaks a guy out of a prison ship, gets double-crossed by his friends, murders all his friends - BANGER 1x07 - Mando goes back to Nevarro, meets up with Greef again, gets ambushed by Moff Gideon, Kuill dies - GOOD 1x08 - Mando faces off with Moff Gideon’s troops, nearly dies, IG-11 sacrifices himself, Mando and his jetpack duel Moff Gideon and take him down - BANGER 2x01 - Mando goes back to Tatooine, meets Cobb Vanth, fights Krayt Dragon, Boba Fett is alive - BANGER 2x02 - Mando takes Frog Lady on a trip, crash lands on an ice spider planet, escapes but his ship is destroyed - OKAY 2x03 - Mando meets Bo-Katan and her friends, they take down an Imperial cargo ship - BANGER 2x04 - Mando returns to Nevarro to check on Greef and Cara, they raid an Imperial holdout, blow up a bunch of stuff - GOOD 2x05 - Mando goes and meets Ahsoka, takes down an evil overlord over a small feudal town, Ahsoka gives Baby Yoda backstory + his name - BANGER 2x06 - Mando takes Grogu to a Jedi temple, runs into Boba Fett and Fennec, they get ambushed by the Empire, they smash stormtroopers, Grogu is stolen by Dark Troopers, Mando’s ship destroyed - BANGER 2x07 - Mando reunites with friend from 1x06, they break into an Imperial refinery, Mando takes off his helmet, they break out and destroy the place - BANGER 2x08 - Mando and all his friends bust into Moff Gideon’s cruiser, save Grogu, capture Moff Gideon, Dark Troopers have them cornered, Luke Skywalker appears, destroys them all, takes Grogu to train him - BANGER 3x01 - Mando returns to Nevarro to get droid fixed, fights off a bunch of pirates, blows up pirate ship, goes and visits Bo-Katan - GOOD 3x02 - Mando goes to Mandalore, gets captured by some creature, Grogu goes and gets Bo-Katan, they save Mando, he bathes in the Living Waters, falls in, Bo-Katan saves him and sees a Mythosaur - BANGER 3x03 - Mando returns to the Mandalorian convert, he and Bo-Katan rejoin the clan, Doctor from season 1 is on Coruscant, gets tricked by Imperial spy, gets mind-wiped, Imperial spy acquires cloning tech - BANGER 3x04 - Mando and the clan go and rescue a kid that was captured by a creature, Grogu gets custom armor and has a flashback to getting rescued from Order 66 - GOOD 3x05 - Mando and the clan are called into service by Greef on Nevarro when pirates siege the city, the Mandalorians siege the town and kill the pirates, Din and Bo-Katan blow up the pirate ship, Moff Gideon escapes - BANGER 3x06 - Mando and Bo-Katan go to a planet to get Bo’s buddies back, solve a droid mystery, Bo-Katan claims ownership of the darksaber, is welcomed back as leader of her clan and savior of the Mandalorians - GOOD

I’ll never forget the two weeks after my dad died, I had three dreams. Like he visited me three times.

The first time, I remember I was just in the house, and he walked in the door with one of his friends and I was incredulous. “But wait, you’re supposed to be dead! You’re alive!” And he said he was down at the funeral home and he woke up and he didn’t know where he was and he left. The funeral home is a block away from my house. And he said he was there and he was going to get his stuff and he was going to go away somewhere.

The second one was much different. All I remember from it was we were in the house, we were both in the dining room. And he was talking about when he died, he said he could remember laying there and Rachel wasn’t doing anything. And he was very upset with both of us that we just let him lay there and nobody did anything. I remember that dream fucked me up for weeks.

The third dream, I don’t remember a whole lot but it was a much different vibe. I feel like we were down the beach at the beach house. We were hanging out outside at the trailer and my dad looked really good. He was wearing jeans and no shirt as he often did. He looked in shape, his body looked good, his hair and face looked really good, he looked young. And all I remember was that he was really happy. And we were all together and he just seemed really content.

My Aunt Jackie had told me she was training to be an empath. And dreams were how the dead communicated. She said when people pass on from this life, they have a period after death where they kind of work through their death and transition to their next life or phase of life. And she said they may visit us in our dreams and talk to us. And it really does seem like this was my dad kind of communicating in his own way. The first time he seemed really confused like he didn’t know what happened. The second time, he realized what happened and was mad at us and blamed us for him dying. But by the time the third dream came around, he was more at peace with things and had come to terms that he moved on and was in a better place.

Prior to him dying, a lot of the dreams that involved the two of us had us arguing. He would yell and complain a lot. Almost every day. And so I’d have dreams about him yelling and complaining. And in my dreams I’d get really mad and yell at him. But always in my dreams, I’d like, get so mad and go to yell at him but I couldn’t. The words would get caught in my throat. Like when you’re so upset that you can’t form words, you get choked up. That would happen to me. I’d never be able to yell at him. And I’d wake up so upset. Unfortunately, these recurring dreams have been coming back. Not frequently but like, once every few weeks or so, I have another one. I don’t know what that means. Or what any of this means.

I just really miss my dad.

Been feeling really really depressed recently. Like REALLY depressed since my birthday. So here’s what my 2022 has been like

- Started an indoor drumline at the brand new HS that I’m teaching at. We did a show of Spider-Man music from the Spider-Man PS4 game, the Into the Spider-Verse movie and Avengers. We did standstill so it was low-commitment, low importance, but they had an undefeated season (of two shows lmao) and the kids did great. - Taught Middletown’s pit and wrote their show which was in dedication to Kevin, who passed in July 2021. We did Jupiter, Schism, Wish You Were Here and Waiting on the World to Change, which are 4 very different songs but I think I made it work. Kids did great, I met a new tech named Lauren from UD who was super awesome and became one of my closest friends during the season. At Wildwood, while we only finished 5th, we finished 2nd in music, getting 1st overall in music achievement from the only judge on the panel worth a damn. Was my last season after working with them since 2014 and a great way to go out. - Saw Tool, Dream Theater and John Petrucci live in concert this year, as well as seeing 3 wrestling shows; NJPW, AEW and WWE. - Saw The Batman, Doctor Strange 2, Jurassic World: Dominion, Thor: Love and Thunder, Rogue One IN IMAX!, Clerks III, Black Panther 2 - My dad died this year. I’ve been wrestling hard with my grief all year and it’s hitting really hard as we get to my birthday, Christmas and the New Year, all things that were extremely important to my dad and us as a family. A few weeks before he died, he started doing a bunch of stuff around here. Fixing my ceiling. Putting up floor jacks in the basement, fixing things, offering to buy me things I wanted. It was very weird, like he knew he was gonna die and didn’t have long. Two days before he died, he had a mini-heart attack. He said he threw up and was sweating and having chest pains, every sign of a heart attack. Yet that same day, he had his friend over to record and was helping him record a song. The day before he died, he woke up feeling great, we ate dinner, he was in an awesome mood, everything was fine, and he woke up the next day, had another heart attack and died. My sister didn’t wake me up cause she didn’t want to leave him alone, even though I was right upstairs and it would have taken just a few seconds. I don’t know if there was anything I could have done, or anything anyone could have done at that point. I never got to say goodbye to him. I never got that chance. I woke up and he was dead. - I planned his funeral and burial, I think I did a good job but didn’t write a eulogy, just gave some haphazard speech that went only a couple of minutes. That still haunts me. I miss him so much and think about him every day. The grief, the regret, the anxiety, the depression, the guilt. It’s not been 5 stages of grief, it’s just been a recurring cycle, ping-ponging back and forth between all of them, never quite hitting acceptance. - After he died, I gained a lot of weight and wasn’t active in the summer to the point where a brisk walk made me short of breath and caused my back to ache. After doing more band, I felt a lot better, but I still haven’t lost any of the weight I put on. - I went and saw a Blue Rocks game with Rachel on Father’s Day, just so we didn’t have to sit at home and refresh social media and see a bunch of stuff about Father’s Day. I went and saw 2 drum corps shows with Drew and it was really really fun just getting to go and be a spectator and talk shit and watch shows. - I met a girl online who lived in Ohio who we talked for 3 months and then she blocked me on everything and ghosted me out of nowhere. So there’s that. - On a whim, I applied for a job teaching the front ensemble at George Mason University. The director is a guy I’ve known since I was in HS, also a Delaware guy. I’ve never taught or marched world class, I’ve only taught HS for a majority of my teaching career. I didn’t think I’d get it, but I applied anyways, interviewed for it and was offered the position. I’ve gone down 6 out of the 8 weekends so far and it’s been a blast but very humbling. I never would have gotten the chance to do this had my dad been alive. He hated me doing band, and now with me driving down on the weekends and being gone all weekend, stranding my sister here by herself, he’d have lost it and it would have been miserable. But instead these weekends are like little adventures for me, and I’m learning so much and getting my name out there for possibly other things. It’s a bittersweet thing. - I got COVID. After the first marching band competition of the season, I felt bad, wound up being sick, wound up testing positive for COVID. My sister also got it. I’m vaccinated, my sister is not, but it both hit us equally as hard. That was really rough. - Odessa went to ACCs as a competing unit for the first time this year and it was at Hersheypark Stadium, so getting to take this little band to such a big time place was awesome, and we finished 3rd in percussion and 3rd in colorguard, which was huge. Last year was weird because I was still dealing with strife with my dad about teaching again, I was double dipping at Middletown because I was loyal to Kevin’s memory and Garrett, and Odessa was only doing a backing-track-led Festival class show. And Middletown had a core of seniors in the drumline. So it was hard splitting my time. But this year, committed only to teaching one school, it was a lot better. And I enjoy working with Odessa because the kids are brand new and only learning what I’m teaching them, so I can drill in fundamentals. I don’t have to break bad habits or change culture. I’m creating the culture, I’m creating the technique program. It’s been super fun. - I’m still at my job. We lost our manager back in February and we gained a new one back in August. It’s been rough in that transition as she’s changing the paradigm in our department, but it’s been good. - We lost our second to last dog, Wolfie, back last November. The last remaining dog, my dog Angel, she doesn’t have long either, so I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and anxiety about her, hoping she’s good, trying to keep her health the best I can these last few days, weeks, months she has. Overall, I’m in a decent position in my life. I’m still single, I’m still in the same crappy house, I’m still stuck with my sister. But I’ve made moves, I’ve improved as a teacher, I have two really great jobs lined up teaching and I’m having a blast at both, whether I’m good or having success or nobody likes me or not, it’s been very fulfilling. And I’ve done a lot of cool stuff and despite the soul-crushing sadness of losing my dad that has taken hold of in my heart, a lot more opportunities to live life and have fun have opened up for me and Rachel and it’s been interesting learning how to live in this new life.