professional-idiocy
Nothing beats coffee and whump in the morning
If you feed anything of mine to an AI I will find you | KuusiPalaa | He/They | born 2004 |
Just a professional idiot who likes whump. Especially villains getting whumped.
Nothing much else going on.
Inactive or extremely active. There is no in-between. Also now a snail blog occasionally
991 posts
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Spicy friend!
Ah yes biology uni. Where I befriend my SECOND true coral snake
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Sometimes I see posts on here and feel like a lot of you have internalized the idea that the qualifying prerequisites for being LGBT are being cool and interesting and subversive, and that the fact that everyone in the community happens to be attracted to their own gender or else stepping outside of the gender assigned to them is just a happy coincidence, and not like, "not only a qualifying prerequisite, but the SOLE qualifying prerequisite." Being gay IS cool, but THAT'S the happy coincidence. Like I'm sorry to break it to everybody but even boring gay people are gay and even cool straight people are straight, because being gay is not about being cool, it's about being gay.
#yeah i'm rather basic while still being queer#like the cool and subversive thing about me is that I think snakes and lizards and isopods and snails are neat and make good pets#I once met this really stereotypical basic bitch type of girl who was a lesbian and I know a white straight cis man who dresses like a twink#queer ≠ cool stereotypical “woke” person with dyed hair#and people need to remember this
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Good advice.
You know, by the time you added cold & dark it started to sound like Finland. Didn't stop me from experiencing the surprise before fucking losing it laughing.
Also,
SUOMI MAINITTU TORILLA TAVATAAN!
Oh and now I'm thinking about Finland inspired classic fantasy elves.
Another worldbuilding application of the "two layer rule": To create a culture while avoiding The Planet Of Hats (the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like "everyone wears a silly hat"): You only need two hats.
Try picking two random flat culture ideas and combine them, see how they interact. Let's say taking the Proud Warrior Race - people who are all about glory in battle and feats of strength, whose songs and ballads are about heroes in battle and whose education consists of combat and military tactics. Throw in another element: Living in diaspora. Suddenly you've got a whole more interesting dynamic going on - how did a people like this end up cast out of their old native land? How do they feel about it? How do they make a living now - as guards, mercenaries? How do their non-combatants live? Were they always warrior people, or did they become fighters out of necessity to fend for themselves in the lands of strangers? How do the peoples of these lands regard them?
Like I'm not shitting, it's literally that easy. You can avoid writing an one-dimensional culture just by adding another equally flat element, and the third dimension appears on its own just like that. And while one of the features can be location/climate, you can also combine two of those with each other.
Let's take a pretty standard Fantasy Race Biome: The forest people. Their job is the forest. They live there, hunt there, forage there, they have an obnoxious amount of sayings that somehow refer to trees, woods, or forests. Very high chance of being elves. And then a second common stock Fantasy Biome People: The Grim Cold North. Everything is bleak and grim up there. People are hardy and harsh, "frostbite because the climate hates you" and "being stabbed because your neighbour hates you" are the most common causes of death. People are either completely humourless or have a horrifyingly dark, morbid sense of humour. They might find it funny that you genuinely can't tell which one.
Now combine them: Grim Cold Bleak Forest People. The summer lasts about 15 minutes and these people know every single type of berry, mushroom and herb that's edible in any fathomable way. You're not sure if they're joking about occasionally resorting to eating tree bark to survive the long dark winter. Not a warrior people, but very skilled in disappearing into the forest and picking off would-be invaders one by one. Once they fuck off into the woods you won't find them unless they want to be found.
You know, Finland.
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Merry has 1 braincell and it’s currently being used to try and seduce himself because he is the stupidest animal on the planet
[id: Merry, the orange patterned cornsnake, chasing himself on some wood in his enclosure, twitching furiously to indicate to his imaginary mate that he’s ready to Make Babies.]
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Strong/powerful whumpees being held as trophies. They are showcased in front of anyone the Whumper wants to in-still fear in.
Whumper doesn’t ask Whumpee to do anything. Just stay silent. Stay still.
Maybe Whumpee is chained up, kept in a glass box?
Maybe Whumpee is muzzled?
Whumpee is kept weak so they can’t fight back. Drugged? Starved? Your choice.
Whumper wants them displayed to show their dominance. The ability to contain someone so powerful like it’s nothing.
Do with that what you will, besties x
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Reblog if you love AO3 and appreciate their volunteers who are working harder than God, fighting battle after battle, making sure the place that is a safe space for every fandom is staying up and running for all of us
#hell yeah I have nothing but respect for AO3 volunteers#and ao3 in general#where else would I find the good stuff?#ff.net? of course not they r
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Ex-Villain angst
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Ex-Villain from a crime family that has to watch and participate as their family is taken away by the heroes
Ex-Villain who spent their villain years chasing the approval of their mentor/villainous idol/villainous loved one, only to find themselves 'redeemed', now chasing the approval of the heroes
Ex-Villain changing their behavior, but never getting better. In fact, they're not sure they've ever felt worse
Ex-Villain only ever being seen as that, an Ex-Villain
Guilt tripping, so much guilt tripping. They don't even argue anymore, they just give in.
Nobody wants a villain, Ex-Villain is rejected almost everywhere, which can make it easier for hero organizations to keep them under control because they have nowhere else to go.
Ex-Villain losing sleep over their past, unable to think of anything other than what they've done wrong
Ex-Villains dyeing or cutting their hair and changing their appearance until they're unrecognizable, because maybe then they can at least pretend they're a different person now
Ex-Villain who still suffers with violent impulses, unable to ever get help for them because admitting they have them would make everyone distrust them
Ex-Villain who learns the hard way that that 'power of friendship' thing only applies to people the heroes like
Ex-Villain who's trying, they really are, but find it increasingly difficult to believe it'll ever actually make a difference
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A weird one, Seviper
Useless but I gotta bring it through the league for the Champion Ribbons
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Fuck it, it's nuudeliposting time. His name means Noodle in Finnish and he's a baby corn snake
Look at this cutie pie. He's a baby <3 A precious baby
Also, check out his Easter propaganda. Isn't he a cutie? He is actually a part of a giant organization of snakes that brings everyone Easter eggs, it's just that the Easter bunny steals the credit every year, because of anti-snake sentiment. /j
(Yes, I'm using the word correctly. The whole point of that picture is to make snakes seem less scary with a baby corn snake in a cute Easter basket with Easter eggs. I'm just upfront with my propaganda.)
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Hah, I never knew Johnstone was such a shrimp!
And yeah, I'm probably the one getting shanked, but congrats on growing Soop!
No pressure on these but maybe for the oc outfit asks, 🔥 for Pete and/or 🚓 for Johnstone bc he needs to go to JAIL
From this post!
Thanks for the ask, and also for your patience ^-^'
It's been sitting in my inbox for months now and I promise I never forgot it lmao
🔥 - Pete in What He'd Wear on a Very Hot Day
I looooove the idea of this one, the mental image of him sitting slumped somewhere overheating was lovely, thankyou >:)
the poor boy really is not used to, or built for the """hot""" weather :) devonhurst is brutally cold, and also miserable and wet, with very short summers. those summers, however, can get to a top of a whole 29C! how suffocatingly hot (LOL) (i'm from the armpit of queensland, those are baby numbers, and he's not even above 26 haha)
not only is pete straight up unacclimatised to the warmth, he has thick, insulated skin, and no ability to sweat, which means when the temperature rises, there's not much he can do to cool off except have a swim or take a cool bath :) neither of which are an option uwu
🚓 - Johnstone (and Pete) in a Prison Uniform
ALSO, I CAN'T FUCKING READ SO HERE'S 🚓 FOR BOTH OOPS (lying across my desk laughing)
I have no idea how Pete would end up in a human prison, but I DO know that he'd be losing his mind with fear, and that he wouldn't fare well for long :))
Update: it's been months and this actually gave me huge brainworms that sparked a whole au scenario with a friend and it was so fucking good <3<3
You can read more about Pete [here] and more about Johnstone [here]
Taglist
@a-crumb-of-whump
@dang-i-like-whump (a treat for you lmao)
@nowjustanothermain2notjudge
@painful-pooch
@pigeonwhumps
@whumplovers-collaborate
@whump-cravings
@willowtreewhump
If you would like to be added or removed, please let me know <3
(also im stupid and realised too late i didn't tag anyone when i posted the zine piece! oops, that's a thing, it's linked [here] if you wanna check it out/haven't already)
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Good things to think about. So, read it and analyze your own biases. There were a few things I had never even thought about.
Exercise: Exposing internalized intersexism
Perisex (non-intersex) people please take time to work through this. I'd also appreciate if you reblogged, even if you don't have time to do the exercise.
When you think of an 'intersex body', what comes to mind?
-Do you think of a stereotypical "hermaphrodite"? (Ex. a penis + vagina, a penis + pair of breasts, a very feminine person with a beard)
Do you, or have you ever, used one of the following arguments;
-Intersex people are living proof that trans people exist/that gender/sex is not binary
-Intersex existing disproves everything TERFs/transphobes believe in
-Cis kids with hormone issues are allowed to take HRT or participate in sports, which is hypocritical against trans people
-Nobody is forcing kids into sex reassignment surgery or hormones, that isn't a thing that happens
-Any kind of argument which uses intersex people as a statistic, whether that is framing intersex people existing as either "common" or "rare"
Do you, or have you ever, said any of the following statements;
-Technically I'm biologically intersex now because I took HRT/had surgery, which makes me biologically nonbinary aka intersex
-I tell people that I am intersex/have a hormone condition to avoid discrimination
-I wish I was born as/could become intersex, it would help my dysphoria a lot
-Intersex people are so lucky because they're already biologically nonbinary, they don't even need to transition
-This animal was born with a mix of sex characteristics/without a sex/developed characteristics of the opposite sex over time, which means they're nonbinary/trans
When it comes to sex, do you;
-Believe that sex is binary
-Believe that all intersex people are infertile
-Believe that all intersex people produce both sperm and egg
-Fantasize about intersex bodies, or consume or create porn that displays either intersex bodies or exaggerated stereotypes of hermaphroditic bodies
-Ask invasive questions about what genitals or reproductive organs an intersex person has
-Treat AFAB/AMAB the same as "[non-medically-transitioned] perisex female/perisex male", such as saying "AFAB anatomy" when you really mean vulva, vagina, uterus, ovaries, breasts, and so on
-Believe that HRT/surgery makes you intersex
-Believe that intersex only covers certain types of variation in sex and not others (Ex. Counting ovotestes, CAIS, and CAH as intersex but not counting PCOS or Klinefelter's)
When it comes to creating (artwork, writing, videos, etc), do you;
-Wish to include an intersex character, but do little or no research on how to write/draw them
-Fail to consider how your work will affect real-life intersex people consuming your work
-Ask random intersex people to help you create an intersex character
-Wish to include an intersex character because you personally think intersex people are interesting, or because you are seeking to include as many marginalized identities as you can
-Create intersex characters because you personally find them sexy
-Refer to characters as "hermaphrodites"
-If you create pride artwork or sell pride artwork, if you include a large variety of other LGBT+ identities but do not include intersex, why is this?
When it comes to advocacy work, do you;
-Fail to bring up intersex issues in conversations which should directly involve them, such as the Kansas bathroom bill
-Attempt to push intersex people out of queer spaces by saying that they are not queer
-Fail to recognize or acknowledge how many anti-queer and anti-trans arguments are inherently also anti-intersex arguments
-Say that intersex people are just "collateral damage" or "just caught in the crossfire/targeted by mistake" when it comes to discussing discrimination
-Never think to bring intersex flags or pins or similar to pride even as an ally, contributing to pride being vastly void of intersex pride
-Never attempt to organize protests specifically for intersex rights, or never bring intersex issues up in LGBTQIA+ support groups or resource centers or online
-Never educate others on intersex issues or lift up intersex voices
-Believe that intersex people have more rights than other marginalized groups, or that they are not discriminated against for being intersex
-Believe that all intersex people who are discriminated against are only discriminated against because people believe that they are transgender
Now, not all of these will point towards internalized intersexism; however, if you find yourself hitting several points listed here, you do likely have some internalized biases and intersexism to unpack.
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"Would you love me if I was a worm" is out. "Would you help me if I was turned into a worm" is in!
(from da server :D)
"whump from the PoV of a literal worm whumpee"
(someone else) "I want a sequel to worm whumpee. Maybe there’s a spell to change him back, maybe caretaker puts him inside a little glass terrarium with soft soil, fresh moss, and an endless supply of leaves. I need a sequel to this crack fiction that nobody takes seriously 🥺"
"of course whumpee gets better! whormpee is still inside this fish that ate them after whumper used them as bait. caretaker gets the fish as a gift, and while cleaning it they find this still alive, suspicious acting worm. instead of freaking out or just lying there limp, whormpee actively nuzzles up to caretaker. caretaker finds this odd but cute and puts them in a terrarium. as they observe whormpee they notice they act way different from other worms, and their suspicions grow. they know whumper’s a dabbler in dark magic, so they take whormpee to another sorcerer to see if their suspicions are true. they are. caretaker then has to embark on a quest to retrieve the necessary material components for the spell that will revert whormpee back into whumpee. whormpee is living their best life in this terrarium, the dirt is clean and moist, keeping them healthy, the moss and mini plants grow beautifully, and whormpee munches on the bacteria in the dirt. when caretaker returns, whormpee is wriggling ecstatically, happy they’re back. they go to this sorcerer and perform the spell, and whormpee, who was resting in caretaker’s hand, is transformed back to their original self, whumpee, who is now being held, embarrassingly naked, in caretaker’s arms. sorcerer, being a nice person gives them spare clothes and whumpee and caretaker go home and, for the first time ever, they drop onto the couch in unison, caretaker leaning on whumpee. caretaker’s exhausted from their travels and whumpee’s exhausted from the transformation. they fall asleep lying against each other."
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Very Silly Concept: a show called "Accessibility Nightmares" but it's structured exactly like Kitchen Nightmares. An accessibility specialist goes to different establishments and helps them make their businesses more accessible.
The accessibility specialist asks why the door at the top of the small set of stairs has a wheelchair symbol on it. The owner replies that's the accessible bathroom. The camera zooms in on the specialist as they process this information.
A customer with a service dog comes in to a restaurant. The hostess tells them they don't allow dogs. The accessibly specialist looks over at the hostess like
And there are web accessibility episodes too. The accessibility specialist stares at the white text on the light pink background of the home page like
The specialist asks why not a single product picture has alt text, and the business owner says "Well I mean, it's makeup, why would a blind person be shopping for makeup?" The specialist just
The specialist asks the web designer how a screen reader user is supposed to complete the captcha portion of the password reset process when there is no audio alternative. The designer admits they don't know.
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Thank you for reminding me @itsdappleagain ^^
Question for the people who experience attraction:
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Check your local laws on what counts as an abandoned animal. You might be able to legally steal it. Like in Finland an unsupervised cat roaming outside legally counts as abandoned, so if you can pick it up and take it to the local shelter you can tell the people if they don't find the cat's owner, you would like to adopt it.
If you go through that route your neighbor can't legally complain that you stole their cat.
Diesel's put on weight since I started feeding him so I'm feeding him less. He's not happy about it.
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Hey 'muricans. Since your government can't just send you a fucking invoice for taxes since they know how much you should be approximately paying. Here's some important shit
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Someone remind me in 24 hours to come check this out to see results. I am genuinely curious
Question for the people who experience attraction:
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