Honor where it’s due

Please forgive me if I don’t have these medals in the correct order of presentation. I have nothing but the utmost respect for our military, but I have zero personal knowledge of the proper order.  These belonged to my maternal grandfather, who served in the US Army during World War II. He earned them by being brave in the midst of combat.  Before he passed, he said that he wanted me to have them.  24 years after his death, they are in my possession for now. However, they will pass to my offspring upon my demise.  That’s how family heirlooms sometimes work.  They aren’t really mine even after being promised them by the one who earned them.

They remind me of Revelations 4:10-11 - 

10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

11  “Worthy are you, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they existed and were created.”

 One day, believers will cast our crowns at the Master’s feet, who is deserving of all glory and praise. Although we might think we have earned rewards, they aren’t really our victories.  Just as my grandfather’s medals aren’t really mine, they are emblematic of his love for me. I listened to his stories, so he wanted me to have them.

But how much more am I loved by my heavenly Father? What crowns will He bestow upon me for listening to His voice and doing His will? His rewards won’t really be mine either though. I look forward to casting those rewards before Jesus in heaven whose great gift of salvation compares with nothing else.  

Prayer Warriors

Psalm 127:3. “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

Who prays or prayed for you? Did you have a praying momma?  Or grandma? My paternal grandmother was a prayer warrior. That’s her pictured below.  The man beside her is my grandfather but that’s a wholly different blog.

Every night after reading her Bible section for that day so that she read her entire Bible in a year for many years, Grandma got on her knees and she would pray.  She prayed for everybody and their brother. By name.  Without fail.  Every night. As a young girl, I once fell asleep during her prayer and she chastised me so that I never fell asleep again during our time with the Lord. I recently blessed the food in front of my mother and she said I reminded her of grandma. I’m not sure if that was a compliment or I prayed longer than she thought I would since she was talking about her mother-in-law.

Can I tell you that my grandma’s prayers were not in vain though?  As I drifted so very far from my upbringing in my 20’s and 30’s, her prayers help to keep me alive when my self-destructive behaviors and ridiculous risk-taking circumstances should have ended my very life.  More than once. Every breath I now take is undoubtedly owing to God’s grace, but also in no small part to the untold number of prayers she poured out on my behalf. She taught me how to pray, how to maximize the triple word score in Scrabble to win, how to always find room for chicken noodle soup, how to snap beans, and how to work a puzzle.  But mostly, how to pray.

A few years ago, a dear friend called me a prayer warrior.  I argued with her, denied her opinion, and thought I was being humble in so doing.  A still small voice asked me why I thought I knew better than my friend did and who was I to assume that I was right and she was wrong.  So, I apologized to my friend and started reading books on prayer like “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson, “Prayer Dynamics” by Marsha Headley, and “The Power of the Prophetic Blessing” by John Hagee.  I’m not exalting myself to the status of prayer warrior. But the least I can do is try to live up to my grandmother’s legacy, as well as my friend’s lofty opinion.  In the process, I’m also teaching my daughter the power and importance of prayer as well. She knows where and when I pray. I pray over her before every gymnastics competition.  I pray over her when she’s sick.  We pray over every meal.  I have prayed over her when she was scared of the dark. Every day, I pray this verse over her life:  

Proverbs 3:6 English Standard Version (ESV)

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

We need to pray for our children.  And we need our children to know we’re praying for them.  If you’re not a parent, pray for other people’s children. These prayers are not in vain. They are a legacy for the next generation of not only who we are, but who they are to become.  Prayer works.  My very life is proof.  I thank Jesus, but I also gotta give props to my praying grandma.  Be a prayer warrior for someone in the generation after you. If the internal reward of doing the right thing now isn’t enough, I’m sure the eternal rewards will be amazing.

Taste and See

Psalms 38:4:  Taste and see that the LORD is good.

Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

 I’ve been on a personal journey to improve my health and have a more positive outlook on my body since the fall of 2016.  The Lord convicted me to try to love myself as He loves me.  No small task.

On January 1, 2017, I quit smoking cigarettes after 28 years of use and also quit binge drinking after 32 years of episodes.  I can’t really take full credit because Jesus absolutely delivered me from these addictions. My pastor spoke life over me and gave me tools to fight temptation.  My doctor gave me a prescription, which was really just a crutch.  He said I would need to take it for more than 3 months. 2 weeks later, I stopped taking it. At the beginning of 2018, after a solid year of being free from those poor choices, I had certainly gained some weight.  I tried different strategies and had church friends pour information into me, as well as encourage me on my weight loss journey.  My emotional eating had to stop.  So many tears and so much repentance later, I’ve lost 23 pounds in about 11 weeks.  I’d like to lose 2 more, but I am at least happy that I no longer weigh more than my husband and fit into my cute/goal jeans.

The Lord laid this verse on my heart today and I think the connection is in regards to the action. You usually eat with your eyes first, then taste.  But here, He says to taste first, then see that the Lord is good.  I can taste His goodness before I ever see it because of who He is, not because of anything I’ve done.  James 2:17 says that faith without works is dead.  You have to have faith, but you have to take the action as well. In “Gifts of the Spirit” by Derek Prince, he says:  “If you study the miracles in Scripture, you will find that almost every time, an act of faith triggered them.  Sometimes, it was a very simple act.  For example, when Moses and the Israelites arrived at Marah, the waters were bitter, and they could not drink from them.  Moses cried to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree.  When he threw the tree into the water, the waters became sweet.  (See Exodus 15:23-25).  The tree itself did not sweeten the water; it was the power of God.  Yet Moses had to throw the tree in.  He did not slip the tree in quietly; he threw it in with a splash.  In other words, he committed himself.  Faith is not an experiment; it is a commitment”.

I had to TRY to love myself. For me, that meant taking action on my poor health choices.  I had to press into Him for deliverance from addictions.  I had to repent of obsessing more about physical food than I did about my daily Bread (His Word, His Presence, His Will).  Like, more than once.  I had to take action on those items for Him to work the miracle of restoration through me.  Whatever miracle you need, let me encourage you to take action in faith first.  Yes, it’s kinda scary.  Or you can think of it as being very exciting.  Physiologically, fear and excitement feel about the same in the body (sweaty palms, racing heart rate, etc).  But saying that you are excited sounds far more positive and encouraging.  Miracles still happen, y’all.  I’m living proof.  If He can restore me, nothing is impossible.  Taste and see.  God is good all the time.  Better even than those Little Debbie brownies.  

Counting

Job 7:17-18 Amplified Bible (AMP)

17  “What is man that You [should] magnify him [and think him important]? And that You are concerned about him? 18  “And that You examine him every morning And try and test him every moment?

Every morning? Wow.  Do we joyfully wake up every morning to face the next test in every moment? Derek Prince said in Rules of Engagement that “God does not test us because He is angry with us or wants to put us down.  On the contrary, testing is a mark of God’s favor.  He tests us because He wants to establish our value.  A jeweler will subject gold or silver to certain tests.  He does this because they are valuable.  He does not bother to test base metals such as iron or tin”. YOU are not a base metal, dear one.

We are so precious to Him and He only tests us to establish us.  When we say we are highly favored, we must acknowledge how deeply we are willing to be tested.  There is always a cost to be counted.  Luke 16:10 says:  ESV “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much,...”.  How powerful is your anointing?  How blessed are you?  Well… How faithful have you been? How much have you exercised your faith? How did you respond when tested?

James 1:2-4 New Living Translation (NLT)

2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

 Good ole James, always so precise.  And I love how the NLT suggests that the troubles that come your way are merely opportunities for growing pains.  ESV says to “Count it all joy”.  Be joyful! Trouble tests faith, which grows your endurance.  Then you will be complete.  Zero needs.  Can you imagine?  That’s how to respond to the test.  With joy. Rejoice!  You have been found worthy enough to be tested in faith to grow endurance.  I kind of don’t like the phrase “God won’t give you more than you can bear”.  I call bull.  I believe that God intentionally gives you more than you can bear so you learn to lean on Him and not your own strength.

No, it’s not easy to be glad about seemingly terrible life situations.  I call a diagnosis of a major health situation of a beloved family member a praise report because I had been faithfully praying for more than a year that this person at least go to a specialist for a diagnosis in order to begin treatment.  I am relieved when job and/or ministry opportunities pass through my hands because I know that I am being reserved for something else.  Is it painful in my flesh?  Yes, a little; but it gets easier.  That’s how faith grows into endurance.  I have peace in my spirit because I see His Hand at work in my life and in the lives of those I love.  I may forever ask “what now”, but I refuse to whine about “why me?”.  I want to be faithful with my little, every time, and in every test. I want to be obedient with His provision on my life.  And to God be the glory for any increase.

Looking Up

Psalm 121:1-2 English Standard Version (ESV)

A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.     From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the Lord,     who made heaven and earth.

Ever wonder why people tell you to “keep your chin up” when you’re discouraged?  I think maybe it helps to get a better perspective or a closer look at where you can always find help.  How many of us have literally hung our heads in shame?  Or even done so as a figure of speech?  

Especially in this day and age where everyone has their nose in their phones, I think we would all benefit from remembering to literally look up.

Isaiah 40:26:  Berean Study Bible Lift up your eyes on high: Who created all these? He leads forth the starry host by number; He calls each one by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Isaiah 51:6:  Berean Study Bible Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth below; for the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and its people will die like gnats. But My salvation will last forever, and My righteousness will never fail

I used to struggle with looking people in the eyes.  I had so much remorse for poor past decisions.  When asked to be a greeter at church, I was only stationed on the secondary entrance close to the men’s room because I was in such a terrible state that I couldn’t really be trusted anywhere else.  But just asking me to serve in even a small capacity actually cemented my decision to become a member at that church.  And as part of the healing process, I have begun to see people as Jesus sees them.  I’m also learning to see myself as Jesus sees me, clothed in His righteousness with my sins cast into the depths of the sea.

If you are in a pit, look up! There is hope.  There is renewal.  There is restoration.  Have faith. When we come to the end of ourselves, we need to forget who we are or were.  We need to remember whose we are and surrender.  By all means, repent and repeat as needed.  But don’t linger on the discouragement. Don’t dwell in shame. Forgive yourself.  If not one of the stars is without a name, I promise that YOU are even more precious.  Know it. Believe it.  And walk like it.

I am the one...again

Luke 15:1-7 English Standard Version (ESV) Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”3 So he told them this parable: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

This passage keeps coming to my attention and stirring my spirit.  It’s referenced in 2 songs:  So Will I by Hillsong Worship and Reckless Love by Cory Asbury.  As I walked a nature trail today, I was praying and asking God for direction in my life.  I left my career over a year ago and have stayed busy, but not necessarily fulfilled.  I was seeking His purpose and was gently reminded of what “teenager me” wanted to do at age 17. I had been writing poetry and songs for a couple years and was featured in local publications.  Somehow, Sarah Lawrence College found me and offered me a full scholarship.  Wow!  But I was not old enough to be considered a legal adult when I graduated high school and there was no way my father was going to let me go to NY.  He said I would be dead in a dumpster if I went.  I dreamed of being a writer in NY and tried to convince him to let me go.  He never budged and my life took a different trajectory. I harbored far too many years of anger at him because he was most likely correct, seeing some of the crazy situations I miraculously survived just in TN.  In my anger, I stopped writing.  I gave up.  If I couldn’t go to NY, then I didn’t see the point. Fast forward 30 years and I’m typing on an ancient laptop because I am still the one who strayed.  I repented of the anger I held against my father a long time ago, but today I repented of fear.  Fear of failure, or worse, fear of success.  After so much straying far from the Father, I have been repeatedly restored in so many ways.  Today marks the revival of my writing. Never think it’s too late.  He will always pursue you, no matter where you go.  I have been in some dark pits.  I promise.  I know.  And He just keeps restoring me back to Him.   #writing #jesus #repentance