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privateandshamefulvices · 10 hours

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how could one make the ideal football team using only frev figures?

Thank you so much for this ask, @citizen-card! I'm sorry it has taken me a little while to answer. Your question was sent to me during the anti-truth hour but tbh, creating a football team of FRev figures has been on my agenda for some time.

I present… MONTAGNE F.C.

Montagne F.C., est. 1793, are an exciting team with an attacking ethos but also strong in defence (of the patrie). They tend to play in the popular modern 4-3-3 formation, which morphs into a 4-3-2-1 in the final stages of attack with Fabre as the lone striker up front.

Goalkeeper: Hérault de Séchelles. Team heart-throb. At over 6' tall, has the reach to make saves across the width and height of the net. Tends to leave the field as soon as the final whistle has blown so that he has time to sign hundreds of portraits before heading off to some highly exclusive nightclub. Fabre always tries to tag along.

Left Fullback: Saint-Just. The youngest team member, just as well given the amount of running he has to do on the overlap. Wishes Robespierre would allow him to trust his own instincts more rather than constantly shouting, “Forward, forward – no, come back! Come back!” Has a good understanding with his right fullback counterpart Le Bas. Desmoulins lives rent-free in his head.

Centre Back: Desmoulins. Only plays here because he thinks he can leave most of the defensive work to Danton, which is interesting because Danton thinks he can leave most of the work to Desmoulins. Writes the official fan newsletter, gets annoyed that Robespierre keeps sending back articles covered in red ink. Sings “You’re shit, and you know you are” at Saint-Just, then pretends it was someone in the crowd. Robespierre often has to separate them in the tunnel at half-time.

Centre Back: Danton. Undoubted talent, but lazy a.f. Stands by one of the goalposts chatting with Hérault, only springing into action if there’s an imminent danger of the opponents scoring a goal. When he does decide to put in a tackle, he goes in studs up. Loudest voice on the pitch, constantly shouting at the lads up front to show more audacity in counterattack.

Right Fullback: Le Bas. Lovely clean player, never booked, never carded. Not flashy, but he runs his heart out for the team every game. Sometimes wishes he’d get as much attention in match reports as Saint-Just, but then pushes the idea out of his head and keeps smiling through. His Instagram account is basically pictures of his wife, their baby, and Saint-Just.

Left Midfielder: Marat. Pushing 50 and still an absolute demon on the attack. Nips around defenders easily, puts this down to his low centre of gravity. Runs an edgy underground fanzine. Team physio and doctor, takes a no-nonsense approach to injuries, believes everything can be cured by sponging off with cold water and vinegar. Gives Fabre a kick when he dives, claiming “it’ll do him good”.

Central Midfielder: Billaud-Varenne. Always turns up for training and matches with Collot d’Herbois. In rondos, has to be reminded to pass the ball to someone else once in a while. Does allegedly unscripted fun fan-meet videos with Collot.

Right Midfielder: Collot d’Herbois. Devises the scripts for the fun fan-meet videos he films with Billaud. Threatened to shoot a fan who tried to improvise. The archetypal loose cannon, as much of a menace to his team-mates as to the opposition. Once tried to throw Robespierre over an advertising hoarding for windows.

Left Winger: Maximilien Robespierre. Self-appointed player-manager. Did all his coaching certificates, attended at least one course twice “to make sure I’ve taken it all in”. Obsessive in preparation for matches, likes to have a week analysing the opposition before he presents his tactics to the team. Doesn’t like overly physical play, says 99% of the game is won by character. Often booked for arguing with the referee for so long, it gets dark. Cult icon with the female fans, nobody – least of all him – is quite sure why.

Right Winger: Augustin 'Bonbon' Robespierre. His brother’s biggest fan and cheerleader, but a gifted player in his own right. More physically courageous in attack than Maximilien, also has something of a reputation as a talent-spotter. Reckons he saw a player who might be “the next big thing” down in Toulon.

Striker: Fabre d’Églantine. Fancies himself as much as he wishes everyone else fancied him. Posts daily (but suspiciously short) topless workout videos on his Instagram. Hérault always puts three laugh emojis in the comments. Feigns injury to try and win penalties, a nightmare for Robespierre who’s convinced he’ll be red carded for fakery one of these days. Dives, rolls and wails shamelessly. Should spend longer in the shower after matches.

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At some point I might get round to drawing the team, team kit and badge, etc... But yep, that's my FRev starting 11!

#frev #i cried laughing at this #show more audacity... i lost it 😭😭#georges danton #camille desmoulins #maximillian robespierre #fabre d'églantine #hérault de séchelles #collot d'herbois #billaud varenne #philippe le bas #marat #bonbon robespierre #louis antoine saint just #frev shitposting

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privateandshamefulvices · 10 hours

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just popping on here to inform everyone that there exists a musical album of a few of roro's poems!

enjoy!! because i certainly will!

#frev media #maximilien robespierre #robespierre's poems

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privateandshamefulvices · 1 day

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i think fouche should get cps membership

pros:

diligent and hardworking

true revolutionary

experienced politician

cons:

Hello, Citizeness Robespierre. Your brother has requested that I tell you to "please refrain from sending intentionally unserious inquiries to his workplace" and also to "perhaps pick up a loaf of bread on your way home if it isn't too much trouble".

#frev #charlotte robespierre #joseph fouché #maximilien robespierre #lmaooo

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privateandshamefulvices · 4 days

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Was just reminded that I ripped my old dvd for preservation so -

https://mega.nz/folder/9yUlWDib#_2ZRNGQ8xRlEUbTAekPt5A

Series 1 of the 1999 BBC Scarlet Pimpernel be upon ye

#frev media #technically #its really bad #sad ronan vibert never got to play robespierre in a better show #thermidorian propaganda be upon ye

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privateandshamefulvices · 6 days

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I love that how since stripes were in vogue in the late 18th century, in the most famous portrait of Robespierre he's wearing them, but bc that portrait is so iconic, in basically all of frev media he's like the only one in noticeably striped clothes. As if he's like the brand ambassador for striped jackets or something.

#maximilien robespierre #18th century fashion #stripes #frev

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privateandshamefulvices · 7 days

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It's Friday: time to confess your sins to father Joseph.

#frev art #fouché

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privateandshamefulvices · 7 days

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Can someone pretty please draw King Louis VXI (6’1) holding Robespierre (5’3) by the underarms like people do with cats?? I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SOOO LONG BECAUSE OF THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY 😭

#frev #maximilien robespierre #louis xvi #frev art #lmaooooo

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privateandshamefulvices · 7 days

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Can someone pretty please draw King Louis VXI (6’1) holding Robespierre (5’3) by the underarms like people do with cats?? I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SOOO LONG BECAUSE OF THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY 😭

#maximilien robespierre #frev #king louis xiv #frev art #lmaooo

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privateandshamefulvices · 10 days

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speaking of underrated historical figures you know who never gets featured in frev stuff ever?? augustin robespierre. i swear you could watch all the most popular frev movies and not even know maximilien robespierre HAD a brother. much less that that brother was at least somewhat important. didnt even merit an ALLUSION in the new napoleon movie even though it showed that bizarre version of thermidor. in lrf he is just physically not present when he should be. he might not have been the most notable politician but... that even the incredible courage and loyalty of his decision to share his brother's fate is so forgotten even in accounts that center his brother... it's a little heartbreaking to me

#JUSTICE 4 BONBON #augustin robespierre #frev

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privateandshamefulvices · 13 days

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are ur requests still open?? if so, could you do a little saintmoulins for us <3