"I've Heard it Both Ways" is just the "I Don't Dance" of the Psych franchise I hope this makes sense

Honestly if I had too much confidence I would be a psychic detective to

I mean who wouldn't really

everytime i cook burgers on the stove i risk intestinal distress (i have no idea what im doing)

the miracle job tells us so much about what nate was like as a young man. this priest sees a miracle in his church a few days after telling his old friend from the catholicism factory that there's nothing to be done about his troubles and immediately goes "nathan ford you wiley coyote-ass bitch you stop helping me right the fuck now"

i am extremely well-adjusted and mentally healthy as long as nothing goes wrong ever at all even a little bit

Listen. I know we don't need any confirmation from the actor. Or director. Or the writer. And we don't need the media calling the confession romantic. But. Even though I know we don't need their validation. I actually love that we get the actor man confirming that we'd get balls deep destiel if not for the network's homophobia. And I adore when the director says "Castiel's coming out". And I'm ecstatic when the writer admits he was asked to bury the subtext deeper. I'm fucking gloating when the media call the confession romantic and boldly claim Castiel should've been Dean Winchester's lover. Because even though we knew. Even though the text was there. And even though the show ended 4 years ago so what does it matter??? It matters. And it's about damn time. And I'm waiting for more.

”Free will is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it” is such a RAW line for Cas to say like whoever wrote that sentence needs a Nobel prize for literature

i love this man

i think one of my favourite things about psych is the perfect balance between shawn and gus being (realistically) charming and attractive young men with reasonable dating success despite their eccentricities and, also, objectively, the biggest, nerdiest losers in all of santa barbara

Okay actually I'm making y'all pick

something that always gets me when I rewatch Leverage is the poor flight attendant in the Mile High Job

she's just having a normal day when the crew needs to get Parker onto a flight as a flight attendant so Hardison calls this poor woman up to tell her that the cat is at the local shelter and she needs to come get it immediately if she knows what he's saying, and of course she freaks out

can you imagine her showing up at the shelter and her cat's not there, nobody knows what she's talking about, she tries to call the number back but of course it won't work. she must have been panicked all to shit, thinking it must have been a different shelter and she won't get there in time, or that it was this shelter and they just don't want to tell her the truth

finally it occurs to her to go home and check on her cat, who of course is fine, and she must end the day thinking someone played a particularly cruel prank on her

then she sees on the news that the flight she would have been on nearly crashed and had to make an emergency landing on the highway, and the sheer wtfery of that

I bet she thinks about that every night of her goddamned life.

I fear misha collins will have to stay in europe from here on out because I'm not convinced the CW won't shoot him the minute he steps foot on US soil

To our treasured [COLLEGE / UNIVERSITY NAME] community,

This week, the unthinkable occurred on our [REVERENT ADJECTIVE] campus. An [INFLAMMATORY COLLECTIVE NOUN] overtook the historic [CENTRAL CAMPUS LOCATION NAMED AFTER PROBLEMATIC DONOR]. Thankfully, the [CAMPUS POLICE / MUNICIPAL POLICE / NATIONAL GUARD / PRIVATE MILITIA HIRED BY BILLIONAIRE FOOTBALL BOOSTERS] responded with [A DIFFERENT REVERENT ADJECTIVE] and [YET ANOTHER REVERENT ADJECTIVE] action to defend the defenseless [AFOREMENTIONED CAMPUS LOCATION] from this band of thugs. While [NUMBER HIGHER THAN 100] individuals were thrown to the ground, tased, tear gassed, and arrested, only [PERCENTAGE BETWEEN 85 AND 99] of these vigilantes were affiliated with our campus as students, faculty, or staff. The vast majority of [NUMBER BETWEEN 0 AND 5] of them were outside agitators from the greater [CITY OR TOWN WHERE YOUR INSTITUTION IS LOCATED AND IN WHICH IT CLAIMS TO BE DEEPLY INGRAINED] area.

These individuals have all been charged with criminal trespass and are forbidden from returning to campus, except, in the case of students, when submitting outstanding tuition payments of [YOUR BIRTH MONTH TIMES YOUR DATE OF BIRTH TO THE 15TH POWER] to the Office of the Bursar to process their official expulsion paperwork. Faculty should accommodate any students affected by these events, which is no students, because, again, these were not student-activists but rather [IDK JUST MAKE SOMETHING UP LOL].

This is not who we are as a campus community. When [NAME OF COLONIAL SLAVE OWNER] founded our college as a [SEMINARY / FARMING AND ANIMAL HUSBANDRY TECHNICAL COLLEGE] in [YEAR OF FOUNDING WHEN NEITHER WOMEN NOR STUDENTS OF COLOR WERE ALLOWED TO ENROLL], he bravely coined our motto: [LATIN PLATITUDE THAT OVER THE YEARS HAS BECOME A RUNNING JOKE AMONG STUDENTS AND FACULTY]. These wise words have guided our mission ever since and rang in my ears as I called in the [CAMPUS POLICE / MUNICIPAL POLICE / NATIONAL GUARD / PRIVATE MILITIA HIGHERED BY BOOSTERS OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM] to use [EUPHEMISTIC REFERENCE TO MILITARY-GRADE WEAPONS] on the enemy infiltrators.

Thanks to our [THESAURUS ENTRY FOR UNDERPAID] staff, who worked through the night to clean things up, I look forward to welcoming your families next week to [AFOREMENTIONED CENTRAL CAMPUS LOCATION] via hologram from my bunker for our [ORDINAL NUMBER] and definitely not final commencement ceremony. Kindly remind your loved ones to bring three forms of ID and a pair of [FAVORITE BRAND OF PROTECTIVE GOGGLES]. In the meantime, we’d like to give you a chance to share your thoughts and concerns regarding this developing situation at our upcoming webinar on Friday from [SHORT, WILLFULLY AMBIGUOUS TIMEFRAME]. Please submit all questions for review to alumnidonations@[INSTITUTION’S NAME].edu.

And to the Board of Trustees: Remember that I know where the bodies are buried. Literally: our campus is built on the ancestral grounds of the [LOCAL INDIGENOUS GROUP WHOSE NAME I HAVE TO LOOK UP HOW TO PRONOUNCE BEFORE OFFICIAL EVENTS] people.

Go [RACIST MASCOT]! President [YOUR REVILED NAME]

so. um. the good news is we found your boyfriend. the bad news is that, well, we sort of…dug him up…in the middle of a car park. in leicester (buckley et al. 2013). leicester, yeah. sorry. they demolished the friary he was hastily interred in when henry viii dissolved all the monasteries. you know how it is. and as it turns out, well, shakespeare was…sort of right about him. scoliosis, yeah, sorry (appleby et al. 2014). if it makes you feel any better we analysed his bones and it turns out he had a pretty high-protein diet before he died (lamb et al. 2014). and he drank so much wine that it changed their chemical composition, which we didn't know could actually happen before we analysed him (lamb et al. 2014), so he was having a good time, at least. 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Appleby, J., Mitchell, P.D., Robinson, C., Brough, A., Rutty, G., and Morgan, B. (2014). The scoliosis of Richard III, last Plantagenet King of England: diagnosis and clinical significance. Lancet 383, 1944. 

Buckley, R., Morris, M., Appleby, J., King, T., O’Sullivan, D., and Foxhall, L. (2013). ‘The king in the car park’: new light on the death and burial of Richard III in the Grey Friars church, Leicester, in 1485. Antiquity 87, pp. 519-538. 

Lamb, A.L., Evans, J.E., Buckley, R., and Appleby, J. (2014). Multi-isotope analysis demonstrates significant lifestyle changes in King Richard III. Journal of Archaeological Science 50, pp. 559-565.

bless this person

whoever picks up spn for season 16, i beg you if you do market research, this time please choose the right market you are researching. it ain't the rednecks that are keeping spn in the top 5 most streamed shows 3 years after it ended. it's the gays.