presidentbungus
#1 cheese fan
they/it + any neos 🪰 cringe fanfic writer & insectoid extraordinaire
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malaysiagazette
MalaysiaGazette
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A word from Bisan to the students of the U.S. in their campus solidarity encampments.
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“I think you should kill Scout,” comes hissing, turning whispers by his armchair, as soon as he plunks down, settling in and flipping through his book to find the page he left off on.
Tavish ignores the voice, but it continues, that little nudge on the weakest part of the barrier around his mind. “Jus’ slide my blade through all that mushy stuff between his ribs, wouldn’t that be nice? Hear him gurgle, watch my tip come out shining red on the other side—“
“Eyelander,” Tavish firmly announces, defiantly licking his finger to turn a page because he’s sure Eyelander can damn well see it even though she’s five feet away on the floor. “Can a man nae sit down five bloody seconds before ye have to go start with this shite?”
There’s the ghostly equivalent of a heaving sigh, that Tavish almost feels across the back of his neck. “You haven’t taken me out in so long, Tavvy.” Two coughs, and a pathetic, rasping gasp, and Tavish starts wondering where he could find a big hammer and, just theoretically, really go to town on a, in this hypothetical, long thin piece of metal that thinks it’s a lot funnier than it is. “I’m practically dying. I dunno how much longer I can go on like this.”
“I was cuttin’ heads with ye four hours ago, you dull, butterknife, ugly, hackit, numpty fuckin’ butterknife.”
“You said butterknife twice.”
Tavish harrumphs, and says no more.
“Please, Tavvy. It would be so fun. Don’t you love mindless bloodshed? It used to be your favorite. Just think how fun it’d be. Doesn’t even have to be Scout, you know. What about Engie? He keeps pissing you off. You know between you and me I saw Sniper using your toothbrush since he couldn’t find his and if you had to ask my opinion—“
“I’m nae gonna stab somebody—what if I gave you a burrito, would that shut ye big barmy mouth?”
“… I can compromise.”
Tavish breathes a sigh of relief—that leftover half a burrito in the kitchen fridge has been sounding pretty good for a while now, and he supposes this is two birds with one stone. “Why don’t ye just ask for the burrito? It’s gotta be easier.”
“Killing’s just a little tiny bit tastier. I’ve got a good head for business, I know what I’m doing.”
Tavish puts down his book—he already knew that was a lost endeavor before he started, to be honest, and he quickly leans over and wraps his fingers around the hilt—and he feels something snap in his head as something other than him pushes through that barrier around his mind, forcing its way into his limbs, filling his veins like antifreeze, and all of a sudden he’s standing up as somebody else starts working his muscles and tendons.
A deep breath and he fights his way back into control, movements becoming impulses as all of a sudden he’s thinking for two.
Never gets old, comes a voice that’s now in his head, snickers cascading down his spine. Don’t suppose I can convince you to slam your foot in the door a few times?
“You’re already pushing yer luck—"
And all of a sudden his leg kicks to the side, hard, and the front of his foot hits the corner of a dresser and he yelps as a bolt of pain fires up his legs and his head’s filled with whoops and hollers. WOAH MAMA! That was a good one!
Tavish hisses: “You’re goin’ fucking back."
Sorry I’m sorry look I’m being so good now. And just like that, the other presence moves to the back of his head, receding from his limbs.
“That’s what I thought.”
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columbia administration is threatening to call in the national guard tonight
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guys ive been trying to return the intelegence but she and her friends have been sitting and talking in intelroom for an hour shes so pretty i cant go in there guys what do i do help
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warming up with boyssss. I used to have difficulty drawing their faces, but this time they at least look like themselves
There's still room for improvement, but it was fun anyway
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Another weight falls beside Pauling on the bed. A hesitant hand crosses to her side, then rescinds. As she looks over Scout pulls his hat so far down his face she can’t see his cheekbones.
“Um,” he says. She feels her lips curling down at the edges. “I really like you and everything, um…”
Pauling’s stomach sinks.
She’s being broken up with. By Scout.
“And I think you’re really cool, and your boobs are awesome,” and Scout looks over with his face full of tears and Pauling looks away and grimaces, “but…”
“It’s okay, Scout," she sighs, staring at the carpet and trying to banish Scout's incredibly slimy upper lip from her peripheral vision. "I don’t think it’s gonna work out either.”
He doesn’t hide an Oh thank god as well as he thinks he does. “Okay. So—so you get it.”
Unfortunately, she does. “We tried it out,” she says, because if she says anything more complex she’ll probably start crying like him and she can’t handle that mental image. “Now we know it wouldn’t work.”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
Her glasses are getting foggy so she takes them off and hooks them on her neckline before she looks over at Scout, and tries not to sound as desperate as she feels: “But we’ll—we’re gonna stay friends and everything, right?”
“Duh.”
"Okay." She sniffles, burying her face into her hands until her cheeks hurt. "Thanks."
"You're really cool though. And like--this ain't cause I don't like you or, or anything. Or that you're a bad person. Just to be--"
"Scout please shut up."
"Sorry."
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found my tablet
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Scout’s step towards self discovery
(sort of) a prequel to this
etsy
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